And just when I was getting ready to dig out the snow shovel....

The sun is shining today. Despite the rain we got for the last two day, one of my tomato plants graphically reminded me that it wanted water. It was "touching its toes". Apparently that poor plant drank all of the 3/4" of rain we got and wanted more. "Feed Me!" My deck looks like it's been invaded. It's over-run with the green foliage of the tomato plants that are attempting to escape from their containers despite all my judicious pruning. So far no-one has been bitten... at least not by a tomato plant.

My son-in-law's mothers sent me the following "funny". I thought I'd share. I'll have to dig out a few of my Minnesotan "funnies" to share with her.


We are sick and tired of hearing about how dumb people are in the South. We challenge any so-called smart Yankee to take this exam administered by the University of Alabama Engineering Department:

1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will support a 10-pound possum.

2. Which of these cars will rust out the quickest when placed on blocks in your front yard? -'65 Ford Fairlane, -'69 Chevrolet Chevelle or -'64 Pontiac GTO.

3. If your uncle builds a still which operates at a capacity of 20 gallons of shine produced per hour, how many car radiators are required to condense the product?

4. A woodcutter has a chainsaw which operates at 2700 RPM. The density of the pine trees in the plot to be harvested is 470 per acre. The plot is 2.3 acres in size. The average tree diameter is 14 inches. How many Budweisers will be drunk before the trees are cut down?

5. If every old refrigerator in the state vented a charge of R-12 simultaneously, what would be the percentage decrease in the ozone layer?

6. A front porch is constructed of 2x8 pine on 24-inch centers with a field rock foundation. The span is 8 feet and the porch length is16 feet. The porch floor is 1-inch rough sawn pine. When the porch collapses, how many hound dogs will be killed?

7. A man owns a Kentucky house and 3.7 acres of land in a hollow with an average slope of 15%. The man has five children. Can each of his grown children place a mobile home on the man's land and still have enough property for their electric appliances to sit out front?

8. A 2-ton truck is overloaded and proceeding 900 yards down a steep slope on a secondary road at 45 MPH. The brakes fail. Given average traffic conditions on secondary roads, what is the probability that it will strike a vehicle with a muffler?

9. A coalmine operates a NFPA Class 1, Division 2 Hazardous Area. The mine employs 120 miners per shift. A gas warning is issued at the beginning of the 3rd shift. How many miners ate hard boiled eggs for breakfast?

10. At a reduction in the gene pool variability rate of 7.5% per generation, how long will it take a town which has been bypassed by the Interstate to breed a country-western singer?

Murphyism of the Day

Young's Law of Inanimate Mobility

All inanimate objects can move just enough to get in your way.