Shaving

Shaving is an interesting subject. I think I first started shaving at the age of 13. My legs, silly. I am fortunate in that I've never had to shave my face. I do pluck a few eyebrow hairs on occasion but those occasions have become fewer now that the hairs on my brow are turning grey and less visible. Funny...but the hairs on my legs are thinning out. That's nice. But I still have to shave. Men complain on a regular basis about shaving. I think this is really silly. I realize that they take their lives in their hands every time they take a straight razor...or even a safety razor...to their throats but really, look at the total area that they end up shaving each morning. You've never heard so many complaints in your life. Razor burn! Ahhhh!!!!! Nicks! You get them an electric razor to quiet the complaints and they complain about ingrown hairs. I roll my eyes, mentally. Vocally, I express such sympathy. Really! You poor things!

I've been shaving for more years then I care to mention. Believe me I've got a multitude of scars to prove it. Knees are tricky. Those boney areas around the ankle are treacherous. I won't mention the underarm area. Underarm deoderant and razor burn do not mix. Please! The total area I've had to shave is immense and the process has to be repeated at least two or three times a week. I know this isn't every day but I think the area (square footage) works out to be a bit more then a man's face. Now I could just stop shaving. I hear the some European women don't shave. Nope. Can't do it. I've seen the pictures. So what are the options out there. I bought an women's electric razor...actually several. For some reason, these never work. I think because a man designed them thinking that women don't need a heavy duty razor. Hah!!!! I've tried a lot of different brands and none of them work. They all leave a fine stubble which ends up looking like you never shaved at all. Maybe a man's electric razor? I asked my husband if I could try his out as an experiment. I thought it would lead to divorce. Needless to say, I still haven't tried out his Braun. Men do not like women using their razors. Why? Because they get dull. Why? Because we have a lot more little hairs to cut...that's why. But I don't think I've heard all that many complaints about shaving coming from women. I have heard a few complaints from men about women not shaving though....usually about some European women. Back to options. I've tried Nair. I don't care how they perfume that stuff. It's awful. The stench lingers in the air for days. Everyone knows if you use Nair, kind of like if you use Ben-Gay. So, in a mad moment, I decided to try an Epi-Lady. That's this handheld think that looks like a razor. It's not. This little machine is shown on TV as a miracle, painless, hair removing product. I don't know how much they paid those ladies in the commercials. Probably a similar amount to the ones that do the waxing commercials. It had to be lots because they all have the same smile pasted on their faces. Please! This machine tears your little hairs out by the roots. It hurts. Really bad. I think that they should try it out on some of those terrorists they want information from but then we'd be accused of torture. I returned the Epi-Lady and got my money back too. False advertising! Back to waxing. NO!! Have you ever had to take off a band-aid? The pain of waxing is worse. You take off a band-aid and the hairs are still there! Now multiply that pain about a 100 times because that's how many times you'll have to do it. I'm not into pain. I shudder to think about those bikini waxes I've heard offered at Day Spas. No way! So it's back to razors. You can buy really nice razors with refill cartridges but these are always so expensive and just when you get used to them...the manufacturers stop making the refills and you have to find a whole new razor to get used to. Disposible razors aren't too bad but don't buy the really cheap ones. Zip Zap, you're ripped to shreds! Really! But regardless, new razors will almost always nick you and to add insult to injury razor burn is a pretty sure thing. Long pants for at least one day or someone is sure to ask you what happened to your poor legs. After that, you may get one or two pretty good shaves before the razor is hopelessly dull. A hopelessly dull razor is a very dangerous thing. I've cut myself more often with a dull razor then a sharp one and yet a dull razor will not cut hair. Repeated swipes of a dull razor over a vulnerable knee in an attempt to cut that illusive hair just does not cut it (sorry for the pun) but it will cut your knee.

So, again what are my options. Sorry guys. There just aren't any. Men will still moan and complain about shaving. And women will quietly roll their eyes while vocally expressing their sympathy (Oh...you poor thing!) and continue to shave themselves with disposable razors which they buy by the sackful while they quietly teach their daughters how to shave. And we dream of a future life with an electric razor, that really works, designed by a woman for a woman....or maybe a future life in Europe where women don't have to shave.