16 More Days before I leave for Wisconsin and "The Lake"

Dealing with The Digital Crisis

Have you ever had one of those mornings where you've spent a great deal of time and effort on something and it ends up looking like you haven't done anything at all? I don't know why but this seems to happen way too often to me.

So I woke up this morning and my husband tells me that the cable TV isn't working. We've got Cox cable with digital. None of the digital stuff was working. Fine. I can live with 99 non-digital channels as long as I can still watch the news and those 99 non-digital channels were working just fine. Now if my cable modem decided not to work, then I'd have been miffed but my cable modem was working just fine. My husband wanted the digital back and tells me that "someone" needed to call Cox. "Someone" called the Cox service rep. I punched in the service number on my phone. Then I punched in, when prompted, that I wanted English instead of Spanish. I speak and understand Spanish since I lived in South America for a while and I also had 5 years of it in high school and another 4 years of it in college and I taught Spanish at a high school level; but I decided that I'd prefer to listen to my instructions in English. Then they got all personal and wanted me to punch in my 10-digit phone number. OK. Did that. Then they got really personal and wanted me to punch in the last four digits of the primary person on the account's social security number. That's not me. I don't have that kind of information recorded in my memory banks so I have to run in and get that information from the "primary person on the account", my husband, and he's sleeping. I woke him up. I didn't even feel sorry. He mumbles the number but by this time the automated system at Cox has hung up on me. So I dial up Cox...again. They wanted me to punch in my 10-digit phone number again. They remembered that I wanted my instructions in English. So I punched in my 10-digit phone number again. Then they wanted the last four numbers of the primary (sleeping again) person on the account's social security number. Thankfully, I remembered it. I punched it in. Then they had me listen to a menu so I could punch in the number of the thing that I wanted them to deal with. I listened and I punched. Then they gave me another menu from which to select a service. I punched in another number. Then they gave me yet another menu. I listened and I punched. I was getting pretty punchy by this time since I hadn't had nary a drop of coffee yet. Then I was informed by the computer that they were doing maintanance work in a nearby town and that the cable would be out for a while in that named town. OK. I don't live in that town. I was put on hold. I waited. I made myself a cup of coffee with a phone stuck to my ear. I got my son's breakfast with a phone stuck to my ear. I drank my first cup of coffee with a phone stuck to my ear. I let my dogs outside with a phone stuck to my ear. I fed my dogs with a phone stuck to my ear. I sorted the laundry and started the first load with a phone stuck to my ear. The "primary person on the account" slumbered on while I had a phone stuck to my ear. Finally a person talked to me. Yes! We had touchdown. She asked me for my 10-digit phone number. Didn't I already punch that in? I gave it to her. She asked me, for security reasons, for the last 4 digits of the primary person on the account's social security number. OH NO!!!! I REMEMBERED! I was so hoping that I would have to wake the "primary person" up again! I gave her the primary person's social security number....the last four digits. There was a long pause before she asked me what the problem was. I told her that the digital feature (much advertised, very expensive, wonderful "you will never be able live without this feature" digital) on our cable TV wasn't working and that the primary person on the account (still sleeping) wanted his digital back. She paused. Then came the bad news. She tells me that they will have to send a signal through the air to our cable boxes in order to reboot the system. OK. I'm with her so far. Then she tells me that it will take at least 45 minutes and up to 1 hour for this to work and fix the problem. OK. Now the bad news. I have to turn off the TV and not watch it at all until the system has successfully rebooted my box. NOOOO!!!!!!! I like to watch the news in the morning while drinking my coffee. It's a ritual of sorts. Me, all by myself, in control of the remote, surfing the news channels while I drink my coffee. I woke up the primary person for consultation while I have the Cox cable-type person still on the phone. HE (the primary person) tells me to go ahead and have them reboot the system. HE'LL BE SLEEPING ANYWAY SO IT WOULDN'T BE A BIG DEAL!!!!!! Now do you see why I take all these pills so I won't kill anyone? Sigh! I'd already taken my pills so I had no excuse to kill him. I had the Cox cable-type person reboot the system. She was nice. She felt my pain. Nice service representative. Nice service representative. She told me that she'd call in an hour to check on me. Nice service representative. She called back. More bad news. Apparently, Cox is in a world of hurt this morning with over 16,000 unhappy cable customers. I'm beginning to feel sorry for her at this point. But when I'm told that I won't have TV for another three to four hours, I'm starting to feel really nasty. But I've had my pills so I'm in control. Can I watch the TV without the digital (much advertised, very expensive, wonderful "you will never be able live without this feature" digital) cable? She can't answer that question. I mentally picture hoards of lawyers standing at her elbow as she answers with a non-commital answer that some people could receive the basic non-digital signal, but some people wouldn't be able to get past "THE BLUE SCREEN OF DEATH" She didn't call it that...I did. "THE BLUE SCREEN OF DEATH" comes up before the box lets you tune into the basic 99 non-digital channels that I had before I started this whole horrible morning. Then she tells me that she'll call me back in three to four hours to check on me. With shaking hands I turned the TV back on. THE BLUE SCREEN OF DEATH came on. I waited and watched THE BLUE SCREEN OF DEATH and then, miracle of miracles, I had my 99 non-digital channels back. YES! I can now watch the news! The "primary person" is still slumbering so I can watch the news....and I have control of the remote. I'm going now to brew a pot of coffee. The "primary person" can take care of his own stupid digital (much advertised, very expensive, wonderful "you will never be able live without this feature" digital) crisis when he finally wakes up. I'm going to go now and watch my 99 non-digital channels and drink a fresh cup coffee. You realize, of course, that if I'd done nothing at all this morning other then what I normally do in a morning, I would have arrived at the same spot where I now find myself? But then you wouldn't have been able to read this neat blog because I would have been blissfully happy watching my 99 non-digital cable channels, remote in one hand and coffee mug in the other.