Yesterday made a full month since I started writing in this blog. Wow! Every single day a new blog. Points for me! I'll try not to break my arm patting myself on the back. It helps that so many have sent me these really wonderful "funnies" to help fill in the gaps for when I have nothing, nada, ninguna cosa, to write about. The following was sent to me at the start of the Afghanistan difficulties. I think you all can mentally make it fit for the Iraqi conflict. Actually, since both conflict remain fairly active....it might fit for both. Just change the names and places to protect the innocent.

ATTENTION! UNCLE SAM WANTS YOU!

ALL AMERICAN WOMEN WITHIN FIVE YEARS OF MENOPAUSE

Train us for a few weeks, outfit us with automatic weapons, grenades, gas masks, hand and body moisturizer with SPF15 or higher, Prozac, chocolate, soybeans, calcium tablets and canned tuna. Drop us (with a parachute, preferably) across the landscape of Afghanistan or on the outskirts of Baghdad, and let us do what comes naturally ;-)

Think about it. Our anger quotient alone, even when doing standard stuff like grocery shopping, driving on the freeway and paying bills, is formidable enough to make even armed men in turbans tremble.

We would gladly suffer or die to protect our children's futures. And we'd like to get away from the routine of office, housework, meal preparation, errand running.

Our husbands would appreciate the quiet interlude to our crabbiness and our endless --itchiness!

For those of us who are single, the prospect of finding a good man with whom to share our lives at this point seems about as likely as turning Afghanistan or Iraq into a tourist destination. In other words:

We have nothing to lose!

We're tough! We've survived the water diet, the protein diet, the carbohydrate diet, and the grapefruit diet, the Atkins diet, the
Eat-right-for-your-type diet. We've worked out in gyms and saunas across America and have never lost a pound. We can easily survive months in the hostile terrain of Afghanistan with no food at all!

And....We've spent years tracking down our husbands and sons in campgrounds, garages, car lots, hardware stores and sports stadiums...finding bin Laden in some cave or Saddam in some hidden bunker will be no problem!

Uniting all the warring tribes of Afghanistan or Iraq in a new government? Oh, please ... we've planned the seating arrangements for business banquets, weddings with the ex's and the in-laws, and for Thanksgivings and Christmases with the extended family for years ... we understand tribal warfare!

As for getting that electricity and water up and running in Iraq.....please! Meals still need to be fixed. Give us a nail file...we'll fix it.

We've fought with enough husbands, lovers, boyfriends, and sons to know every trick there is for how they hide, launder, or cover up--especially where money's concerned! And we know how to find that money, and we know how to seize it ...with or without the government's help!

Let US go and fight! The Taliban hate women. Imagine their terror as we crawl like ants with hot-flashes over their god-forsaken terrain!

Yes! I'm going to write my Congresswoman. You should, too!