32 More Days before I leave for Wisconsin and "The Lake"

Yesterday, I promised to continue with How to Speak Minnesotan...a Visitor's Guide By Howard Mohr, in my blog. Today I was going to get into the phrases, That's Different and Whatever. This would have finished up Lesson 1 in How to Speak Minnesotan. However, I've decided to save that for tomorrow's blog and instead beg to differ with Howard Mohr on one point he makes in his book. According to Howard,

"Minnesotan is not a musical language. Some people with an ax to grind have said it is the musical equivalent of a one-string guitar. What I say is, what's wrong with a monotone---at least you don't startle anybody, but it does mean that Minnesotans are not asked to be on talk shows as much as residents of other states, not that we care."

(Here I need to interject the following "funny" by Garrison Keillor about Lutherans who make up a large religious base in Minnesota. I don't at all agree that Minnesotans speak in a monotone...well...at least I don't ...but then that may be because I'm a Lutheran.)

Singing With the Lutherans
By Garrison Keillor




I have made fun of Lutherans for years--who wouldn't if you lived in Minnesota? But I have also sung with Lutherans and that is one of the main joys of life, along with hot baths and fresh sweet corn.

We make fun of Lutherans for their blandness, their excessive calm, their fear of giving offense, their constant guilt that burns like a pilot light, their lack of speed, and also for their secret fondness for macaroni and cheese. But nobody sings like them.

If you ask an audience in New York City, a relatively "Lutheranless" place, to sing along on the chorus of "Michael, Row the Boat Ashore" they will look daggers at you as if you had asked them to strip to their underwear.

But if you do this among Lutherans, they'll smile and row that boat ashore and up on the beach and down the road! Lutherans are bred from childhood to sing in four-part harmony. It's a talent that comes from sitting on the lap of someone singing alto or tenor or bass and hearing the harmonic intervals by putting your little head against that person's rib cage.

It's natural for Lutherans to sing in harmony. We're too modest to be soloists, too worldly to sing in unison. When you're singing in the key of C and you slide into the A7th and D7th chords, all two hundred of you, it's an emotionally fulfilling moment.

I once sang the bass line of "Children of the Heavenly Father" in a room with about three thousand Lutherans in it; and when we finished we all had tears in our eyes, partly from the promise that God will not forsake us, partly from the proximity of all those lovely voices. By our joining in harmony, we somehow promise that we will not forsake each other.

I do believe this: people, these Lutherans, who love to sing in four-part harmony are the sort of people you could call up when you're in deep distress. If you're dying, they'll comfort you. If you're lonely, they'll talk to you. And if you're hungry, they'll give you tuna salad.

So you see....we don't all speak in monotones. Tomorrow I'll continue with further lessons on How To Speak Minnesota. Today, I'm celebrating Cinco de Mayo ( May 5th).....on Cuatro de Mayo (May 4th) with friends. I am still in Arizona afterall and for some reason that I won't try to understand....those who live in Arizona celebrate Cinco de Mayo which is Mexico's Independance Day. Hey! Any excuse for a margarita.