22 More Days before I leave for Wisconsin and "The Lake"

Lesson 11 in How To Talk Minnesotan....A Visitor's Guide covers vacationing in Minnesota during the winter. Why? Why would anyone want to vacation in Minnesota during the winter? OK. So I'm prejudiced. I grew up in Minnesota. I stood countless hours at bus stops with only thin nylons standing between my legs and frostbite, waiting for the bus to arrive to take me to school or to work. Yes, they were nylons but when pantyhose were invented I wore pantyhose (they weren't any warmer then nylons). I remember trying to start my car in the mornings. I repeat to word "trying". That word does have two meanings. Have you ever tried to unlock your car in the morning only to find that the lock has frozen?

I think this chapter was put in for all those suckers out there who don't have a clue about Minnesota winters. Sure, there is skiing, skating, snowmobiling, and icefishing. And don't forget the Winter Carnival which I never went to because....I don't like snow, falling on slippery sidewalks, or below freezing temperatures. The closest I ever want to get to snow now is the fake stuff in my snowglobe collection.

We (my husband and myself and our baby daughter) decided to make the move to Arizona after that memorable winter when ice dams formed on our roof and my husband had to spend a wonderful adrenaline filled time punching holes in the ice dam, in freezing rain with an ice pick because you don't want to make holes in the roof with an ice chipper. We figured that since he lived through that and he wanted to live a bit longer, we'd better move to someplace where he wouldn't have to cling to an icy slope in order to keep the roof from caving in. Go figure.

There are many a stubborn bunch who will remain in those conditions but I've seen a great many more Minnesotans who have moved here to Arizona having decided to leave Minnesota during those wonderful winter months. My daughter in Florida tells me that there were a few Minnesotans down there this winter too. Actually, come to think of it, maybe the only people , besides the stubborn few who will tell you that they can't live without four actual seasons, who remain in Minnesota during the winter are.....vacationers? Could that be?

I will have to say that those who remain in Minnesota during the winter have a great deal in common with those who choose to remain in Arizona during the summer. I have spent many a summer here in Arizona, baking in the triple digit heat, and it wasn't all that pleasant, even with air-conditioning, because you still have to walk to your car which has been baking in the sun all day and drive home in ovenlike heat because the car air-conditioning doesn't really start being effective until one block from your house. And no-one in their right mind would ever wear pantyhose (it might melt).

I figure that Minnesota must be populated with people who hate the heat more then they hate the cold and Arizona must be populated with people who hate the cold more then they hate the heat. It takes all kinds. It's nice to have a variety of choices. And when you retire....you may even choose to spend your time in both worlds. Minnesotans who spend winters in Arizona are called snowbirds by the locals in Arizona....I wonder what the locals in Minnesota call Arizonans who spend summers in Minnesota?