It's the last day of July and we have scattered showers and t-storms predicted today. We've already gone through two batches of rain this morning but the sun is out right now so I really should run out and do outdoor stuff instead of spending any time on this computer because in a few minutes it's sure to cloud up and rain again. Unfortunately it's too wet out to do any berry picking or gardening. Oops! Here come some more clouds. I'm off to walk the dogs. They hate the rain and will only go out if forced when it's wet out.

I'm hoping to get wedding plans finalized so I can order the invitations so the following Cliche of the Day seemed appropriate. There are only so many cliches which start with the letter "J". My options are limited.

Cliche of the Day

John Hancock. One's signature. The biggest and boldest signature on the Declaration of Independence was that of John Hancock of Massachusetts. The same significance attaches to "John Henry". That version originated in the American West in the 19th century, but who John Henry was is unknown. In Western Words (1981), a collection of cowboy expression, Ramon Adams writes: "John Henry is what the cowboy calls his signature. He never signs a document, he puts his John Henry to it."

Yesterday was not Wednesday. My watch was all screwed up and it told me that it was Wednesday yesterday. I drove the garbage to the road because I thought that yesterday was Wednesday. When one lives in rural Wisconsin, one either walks the 1/2 mile down their driveway with the garbage cans or one drives their garbage the 1/2 mile to the main road for garbage pickup. I prefer driving my garbage that 1/2 mile. Call me lazy because I'd probably drive my gargage 1/4 mile too. I'm lucky to have garbage pickup at all. I even have recycling! I have to drive the recycling to the road too. Before we had garbage pickup, we burned the burnable garbage and drove the rest of the stuff to some unsuspecting trash receptacle in town...when no-one was looking. Apartment trash bins work great for this. Thankfully, we have our own trash pickup now so we don't do that anymore...except for that last trash pickup of the summer. Rest Area trash barrels work well enough for that. Anyway, today is Wednesday. I got my garbage out to the road early. It's already up at the road waiting for pickup.

In Arizona I'd be fined for taking my garbage out early. No-one wants to look at your trash barrel longer then deemed necessary in Arizona. You have to sneak it out to the curb in the dead of night and then race out and hide it again before anyone sees it. It's in the rules. The rule book is quite long and involved. Thankfully there isn't a rule book here in rural Wisconsin...at least not about things like garbage cans. They do frown upon hunting deer from your motorized vehicles. I wasn't planning on taking that up as a hobby anytime soon.

Cliche of the Day

It's the Pits. It's bad or unpleasant; it's the worst. Although the expression isn't very old, having originated in the United States about 10 years ago, the kind of "pit" originally referred to is lost. "Coal pit," "armpit," "automobile racetrack pit" (the scene of hectic, grueling and nerve-wracking action)? Woody Allen wrote in The New Yorker in 1977 that "watching TV all day is the pits."

I didn't write a blog yesterday. Does that mean I have to write two today? Well forget it! I'm sorry. I just got too busy yesterday. We had to drive into the big city to visit with my husband's mom and dad for a short while. Whereupon best wishes were proferred with a round of hugs for all and probing questions about the wedding and wedding plans were discussed. Since we only had 30 minutes it was a minor miracle that so much territory was covered. We only stayed 30 minutes because my husband needed to get to the airport for his pre-flight security check-in. I'm assuming that he made it to his final destination....back to hot and arid Arizona...safe and sound if not sane. I haven't heard from him yet but I doubt I'll hear from him until he recovers from the flight. Flying these days is so interesting. I wonder if they searched his baggage. He was carrying various food items. I imagine the cheese curds may have raised a few eyebrows. Did they question the can of coffee? It was sealed. But was it really coffee? Did they get a can-opener and open it up to check? We love Butternut coffee and you can't buy it in Arizona so we always have to "import" it from the wilds of Wisconsin. We also have to "import" other food items such as whole grain mustard in larger more economical containers. Apparently Arizonans don't eat much mustard. You can only get those teeny-weeny jars of the stuff which only lasts for 2-3 sandwiches before you have to run out and buy another jar of the over-priced stuff.

Oh well...I'm off the main subject. One does go off on tangents if one isn't careful. Back to why I was so busy that I didn't write my blog yesterday. After dropping my husband off at the airport, we toodled off to the mall. The Mall. The Mall to end all Malls. The Mall of America. My daughter's fiance had never been there. Besides picking up a wedding book and matching guestbook , we split up and explored The Mall. I've always felt that they should rename the place The Maul. It would be far more honest of them. I explored the first and second floors and had to meet the happy couple for supper. I bought some new shoes. Afterwards we raced through the third floor of The Maul looking for a pair of shoes for my daughter. We didn't find anything that she liked. Future plans to go to The Maul? I think I'll pass. They can go by themselves. We drove back to "The Lake" after The Maul closed and we were swept out the door. It was early this morning by the time we got back here. 1 AM. Past my bedtime. I don't know when "the happy couple" went to bed because I didn't wait around to see.

Now I have to go pick my dogs up from my folks' place. Poor parents. Poor dogs because it's late and I doubt that they've been fed....the dogs not the parents. Poor parents for having to put up with poor dogs. They're probably whining and complaining. The dogs...not the parents. At least I hope not. Maybe I should bring them a couple of the muffins I made this morning. For the parents not the dogs.

Cliche of the Day

Hell is Paved With Good Intentions. It isn't enough to promise good deeds; you must do them. The thought is often expressed as "the road to hell is paved with good intentions." A similar saying, going back to 1574, in Guevara's Chronicles by Edward Hellowes, is: "Hell is full of good meanings and wishes." The modern saying was picked up by John Wesley in his Journal(1736): "It is a true saying, Hell is paved with good intentions."

Looks like I'm going to be planning a wedding. In Vegas. In October. My youngest daughter and her boyfriend are getting married. None of the wedding plans that I can find tell you how to plan a wedding in less then 12 months. HAH! I did it for my wedding so it can be done. It can be done. I think I can, I think I can. When...Where...Who...Addresses...Flowers... Wedding Announcement....Photographer.

Cliche of the Day

Gala Occasion, A. A social event special for its fancy dress and spirited entertainment, for its festivity. A bit of repetitiveness here, since "gala" by itself means festivity. The word once stood by itself, as in this example from The Gentlemen's Magazine in 1778: "The anniversary of her Majesty's name-day was celebrated at the Russian court with great gala." The society columns of newspapers are the source of the current practice of invariably coupling "gala" with "occasion" or "affair".

It's really quiet here this morning. My dogs are over at my folks' place still and everyone is asleep. I better run over and get the dogs. I bet it's really noisy over at my folks' place. If it gets any quieter here I'll imagine that I'm going deaf. Actually the noise coming from my computer fan and the dehumidifier down in the basement remove any possibility of that being the case. That dehumidifier (GoldStar) may cause eventual deafness it's so loud but what can you do? One must dehumidify basements in Wisconsin. I can't find a dehumidifier that doesn't make so much noise. How much noise does this humidifier make? Well...there may be someone racing their Harley down there. Failing that there may be two bears snarling or snoring in my laundry room. I may have to do a web search and see if I can find one dehumidifier out there somewhere that will work in silent contentment...or just like one bear snoring in the basement. I'll just have to decide whether I want one or two bears sleeping in my basement. Is it even worth the money to make a change? Decisions, Decisions!

Cliche of the Day

Fall Between Two Stools. To fail or not act because of indecision over two choices (said often of a problem that lands between two people or agencies that might be expected to deal with it). One can imagine a person so absentminded or distracted as to miss each of two nearby seats, landing between them. An old form of the saying is "Between two stools one goes [or falls] to the ground." The Romans had a similar expression. In English it was recognized as familiar by 1390, when it appeared in John Gower's Confessio Amantis: "Bot it is seid...Between two Stoles lyth the fal." In 1536 it appeared in a book of proverbs as "Between two stolis, the ars goth to grwnd."

It's Friday still. I was going to write something early this morning but ran out of time. Now I'm quickly writing something so I don't skip a day. Argh! What should I write?

We all (my husband, my daughter, her boyfriend, and me) drove into Minneapolis to have dinner with, I could list them all but to make a long list short, relatives from my husband's side of the family. I ordered Jumbo Shrimp. They were really Jumbo. I mean lobster tail jumbo. I could only eat three of the six on my plate. I gave one away and the other two are in the refrigerator waiting for me to heat them up for lunch and possibly supper tomorrow. Thank goodness for "Doggy Bags" which aren't bags at all anymore. They don't even pretend to think that you're bringing a treat back for your dog in that huge styrofoam partitioned container that they give you. I'm sure that my dogs would love to eat my leftover shrimp but I'm not going to share. They'll just have to live with their Science Diet Light when I go and pick them up from my folks' place tomorrow morning. We just got back to "the lake" and it's too late to pick them up tonight. But even if they were here they couldn't have any of my shrimp. Poor puppies.

Cliche of the Day

Eat Your Heart Out. To grieve or worry excessively in a hopeless situation; also what one says to someone in such a situation when one is unsympathetic to him. Sir Thomas Elyot defined it in 1535 a bit differently: "Eate no harte, what does it els signifie, but accombre not thy mynde with thoughtes, ne do not fatigate the [thee] with cares?" The ancient Greeks had an expression (quoted by Plutarch as a "Parable of Pythagoras") that translates as "Eat not the heart." It meant not to consume oneself with troubles or worries, which could be almost as devastating as eating one's heart.

It's morning and no-one is awake but me. OK. The dogs are awake too but I already walked them and they've been fed so they aren't bugging me. I'm sure that there is plenty of wildlife out there in the woods that is up and about under the premise that "The early bird gets the worm" but for all intents and purposes I'm sitting at my computer in blessed silence. I'm enjoying my first cup of coffee and I've already read and answered my email. I've played my SUNPOKER game and have moved on to this blog. And after taking the following test that one of my good friends sent me, I realize that I've lost it. Actually, I already figured out that I've lost it. My kids have always told me that I've lost it so I probably didn't need to take a test to "rub it in" but since I've already lost it I took the test anyway.

Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles.

As we grow older, it's important that we keep mentally alert. The saying; "If you don't use it, you will lose it" also applies to the brain, so...,

Below is a very private way to gauge your loss or non-loss of intelligence. So, take the following test presented here and determine if you are losing It or are still "with it." The spaces below are so you don't see the Answers until you have made your own....

OK, relax, clear your mind and.... begin.

1. What do you put in a toaster

Answer:

"bread." If you said "toast," then give up now and go do something
else.

Try not to hurt yourself. If you said, "bread," go to Question 2.


2. Say "silk" five times. Now spell "silk." What do cows drink?

Answer:

Cows drink water. If you said "milk," please do not attempt the next question. Your brain is obviously over stressed and may even overheat. It may be that you need to content yourself with reading something more appropriate such as Children's World." If you said, "water" then proceed to question 3



3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made from blue bricks and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house is made from black bricks, what is a greenhouse made from?

Answer:

Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said "green bricks," what the devil are you still doing here reading these questions????? If you said "glass," then go on to Question 4.

4. Twenty years ago, a plane is flying at 20,000 feet over Germany. If you will recall, Germany at the time was politically divided into West Germany and East Germany. Anyway, during the flight, TWO of the engines fail. The pilot, realizin that the last remaining engine is also failing, decides on a crash landing procedure. Unfortunately the engine fails before he has time and the plane fatally crashes smack in the middle of "no man's land" between East Germany and West Germany. Where would you bury the survivors? East Germany or West Germany or in "no man's land"?

Answer:

You don't, of course, bury survivors. If you said ANYTHING else, you are a real dunce and you must NEVER try to rescue anyone from a plane crash. Your efforts would not be appreciated. If you said, "Don't bury the survivors" then proceed to the next question.

5. If the hour hand on a clock moves 1/60 of a degree every minute then how many degrees will the hour hand move in one hour?

Answer:

One degree. If you said "360 degrees" or anything other than "one degree," you are to be congratulated on getting this far, but you are obviously out of your league. Turn your pencil in and exit the room. Everyone else proceed to the final question.

6. Without using a calculator- You are driving a bus from London to Milford Haven in Wales. In London, 17 people get on the bus. In Reading, six people get off the bus and nine people get on. In Swindon, two people get off and four get on. In Cardiff, 11 people get off and 16 people get in. In Swansea, three people get off and five people get on. In Carmathen, six people get off and three get on. You then arrive at Milford Haven. What was the name of the bus
driver?

Answer:

Oh, for crying out loud! Don't you remember? It was YOU!!

I knew I'd lost it when I answered that cows drink milk. I did wake up enough to answer that a greenhouse was made of glass (though this is debateable since my parents' greenhouse is made of plastic and metal) but I lost it on the degree thing and I forgot that I was driving the bus. I think I'd better get another cup of coffee.

Cliche of the Day

Draw a Blank. Fail to remember or find something; fail to recognize what someone is driving at. One of the meanings of "blank", now almost forgotten, is a lottery ticket that does not bring a prize. This is the "blank" that one "draws". Washington Irving wrote of "drawing a blank" in 1824 (in Tales of a Traveller), so the saying is at least that old.

*Please note that all previous and future cliche definitions from the Cliche of the Day in these blogs are carefully chosen for you by The Grey Frog using The Dictionary of Cliches by James Rogers. Any and all cliches imbeded in the rest of the blog are brought to from the curiously strange and unconcious mind of The Grey Frog.

I went out raspberry picking this morning. Perfect weather for it. My resultant walk was well over a mile. I didn't notice the distance so there were no complaints about the distance as this was a solitary expedition. It was just cool enough to tolerate the necessary long-sleeves and long pants. Even with the liberal use of mosquito dope, long sleeved shirts and jeans are a must. Aside from the obvious mosquito protection, long sleeves and jeans help keep your arms from being shredded by the thorns. On occasion, a stray thorny branch will steal my hat. I steal it back. A bare head is the target of every deerfly in the vicinity. The obvious question is: "Why the heck does this crazy lady go out berry picking?" Unless you've had Wild Raspberry Jam, you will never know. Wild raspberries are an experience that you shouldn't miss. I didn't get enough berries today to make my jam but I made a good start. I have enough for our dessert tonight and an equal amount to freeze until I accumulate enough for jam-making. The raspberries are just starting. In a couple of days I'll sally forth to pick again. There will be Wild Raspberry Jam in my pantry for the winter.

Cliche of the Day

Child of Nature. An innocent or naive person. William Wordsworth has it, and may have originated it, in "To a Young Lady, Who Had Been Reproached for Taking Long Walks in the Country," which begins,

Dear Child of Nature, let them rail!
--There is a nest in the green dale,
A harbour and a hold;
Where thou, a Wife and Friend, shalt see
Thy own delightful days, and be
A light to young and old.

I spent the whole day out on the boat yesterday with my daughter and her boyfriend and we only caught 17 fish. Bluegills. It's not that I don't like bluegills. I actually prefer bluegills to other fish. We only caught 17 fish after spending the whole day out there trying. Fishing was not good. Nothing was really interested in biting. The deerfly were even making themselves scarce. It was so windy out that the boat kept drifting despite its two anchors. The fish never bite real well after it's rained and it rained the other night. It rains here alot. That means that more then half the time the fish would rather eat bugs and worms washed into the lake after a rain storm then anything you can produce to throw out for them attached to a shiny and sharp hook. I can understand that. After eating my daughter's wonderful lasagna last night, I really wasn't interested in dessert afterwards. I was full. But maybe the fish will be biting today. That lasagna sure looked good to me this morning. So did that cookie.

I noticed the leftover lasagna in the fridge this morning when I was getting the eggs for breakfast. Lasagna isn't a breakfast type food or the leftover lasagna would have been history. My daughter makes truly awesome lasagna. She makes great cookies too. I know. I snuck one to have with my coffee this morning....before I reached for the eggs in the fridge when I almost tripped over the lasagna. That cookie along with the preconceived notion that lasagna is not a breakfast food were the only things that saved the lasagna this morning. So back to fishing, I'm thinking that maybe today the fish will be biting. Too bad because today is laundry day and I don't think I'll have the time to go fishing.

Cliche of the Day

Ball Bounces, That's the Way the. You have to be fatalistic; this is how things happen. A variant with the same meaning is "That's the way the cookie crumbles." Both expressions seem to have originated in the United States some 30 years ago. The bouncing ball in many games, particularly football, is notably unpredictable; the player has to deal with whatever bounce he gets.

Just got back from walking the dogs. The deerflies found me immediately as I stepped out the door. I'll have to put in a hat rack by the front door so I can grab a hat as I exit and hang a hat as I enter. OOOHHHH!!!!! This may be a positive thing! I can go hunting in antique stores! Cool! I love antique hunting and now I have a really good excuse. I need a hat rack for the entryway. I guess those deerfly aren't all bad. I suppose I could get creative and make a hat rack...I'm very creative and Bargain Bill's did have those balloon molds. It's going to be a rainy day so I can contemplate the possibilities for a while. I'll wait until next week to make any decisions. One must plan one's hunt.

Cliche of the Day

All to the Good. Satisfactory; tending toward a desirable outcome. This "good" is, or was, an accounting term referring to a balance on the plus side, a net profit or an excess of assets over liabilities. The Spectator in 1889 described a man who was "boasting that he...had so much heavier a balance in the bank to the good, in consequence."

The service representative for my cellphone company called me yesterday. I didn't get my minutes back. I was told that I should fill my phone 3 days before the expiration date from now on, I was patted on the head verbally, and advised to "Have a great weekend." I hate cellphones.

My niece sent me the following "funny" which I thought I'd share.

MEDICAL TERMS

Benign..........What you be after you be eight.
Artery..........The study of painting.
Bacteria..........Back door to the cafeteria.
Barium..........What doctors do when patients die.
Cesarean Section..........A neighborhood in Rome.
Cat Scan...........Searching for Kitty.
Cauterize..........Made eye contact with her.
Colic..........A sheep dog.
Coma..........A punctuation mark.
D&C..........Where Washington is.
Dilate..........To live long.
Enema..........Not a friend.
Fester..........Quicker then someone else.
Fibula..........A small lie.
Genital..........Non-Jewish person.
G.I Series..........World Series of military baseball.
Hangnail..........What you hang your coat on.
Impotent..........Distinguished, well known.
Labor pain..........Getting hurt at work.
Medical Staff..........A Doctor's cane.
Morbid..........A higher offer than I bid.
Nitrates...........Cheaper than day rates.
Node..........I knew it.
Outpatient..........A person who has fainted.
Pap Smear..........A fatherhood test.
Pelvis..........Second cousin to Elvis.
Post Operative..........A letter carrier.
Recovery Room...........Place to do upholstery.
Rectum..........Damn near killed him.
Secretion...........Hiding something.
Seizure..........Hiding something.
Tablet...........A small table.
Terminal illness...........Getting sick at the airport.
Tumor..........More than one.
Urine...........Opposite of you're out.
Varicose..........Nearby/Close by.

There are no cliches of note that start with the letter "X" according to The Dictionary of Cliches. I can't think of any either. OH WAIT! X Marks the Spot! Probably originated from some old pirate story. I can't imagine that any pirate of any pirate ship would actually draw up a treasure map and mark the spot where they buried the treasure with an X. I'll go on with a cliche from the letter "Y" section of the book. It fits my mood about cellphones. I would have picked You Can't Teach an Old Dog New Tricks but I don't like to repeat myself and I used that one the last time I reached the letter "Y" on June 26th when I was complaining about my computer.

Cliche of the Day

You Get What You Pay For. If you buy things on the cheap, you probably won't get much that is of value or good quality. The lesson was learned a long time ago and reflected (in Latin) in Gabriel Biel's 15th-century Expositio Canonis Missae: Pro tali numismate tales merces.

I'm in a bad mood today. I tried and failed to refill my cellphone yesterday so I lost all my accumulated minutes. ARGH! "I'm sorry but we can only credit you back $30" Primal scream! A special service representative is supposed to call me within 24 hours to tell me if I can get my minutes back. Fat chance! I'm not holding my breath. I hate cellphones. I like having one but I hate them. Such a paradox! I'm not one of those people you see chatting while driving down the road, smoking a cigarette, and stuffing french fries into my mouth while juggling a shake. The stupid thing is only for emergencies. Of course, with my luck, I'd end up with a flat tire or a broken radiator hose or with a deer draped over the hood of my car or being chase through the woods by a black bear in a NO SERVICE area. Right now I'm in one of those areas where you have to punch in endless amounts of numbers...a number if you want to get your "prompts" in English, then they tell you (in English) to key in your own 10-digit telephone number, and then they tell you (in English) to key in your special code number, and then they tell you to punch in the number of the party that you wanted to call but by this time you have forgotten that number and you have to look it up and then they tell you that you didn't punch in the number fast enough so you have to start all over again and they ask you if you want your "prompts" in English. I really hate cellphones!

Cliche of the Day

Wave of the Future. A strong trend; an idea or a program that looks as though it is going to make a substantial impact. The analogy is to the force of an ocean wave. Anne Morrow Lindbergh gave the phrase currency by making it the title of a book (1940) in which she wrote: "The wave of the future is coming and there is no fighting it."

*Please note that all previous and future cliche definitions from the Cliche of the Day in these blogs are carefully chosen for you by The Grey Frog using The Dictionary of Cliches by James Rogers. Any and all cliches imbeded in the rest of the blog are brought to from the curiously strange and unconcious mind of The Grey Frog.

I spent a great deal of time yesterday in Rice Lake. I don't have a clue why I didn't go grocery shopping but I didn't. Now I have to spend a great deal more time in Rice Lake today. I need groceries. It's one thing to maintain groceries for two people on a diet. It's a whole other story when you have company. No-one who ever visits me is on a diet. One can't expect the whole world to diet along with you. I need groceries. Lots of groceries. The Pancake Breakfast at the American Legion Hall isn't until tomorrow morning and I only have enough eggs for today's breakfast. Bread. I could bake some but... My daughter doesn't eat fish so I can't feed her anything that we catch out on the lake either. So another trip into Rice Lake is unavoidable. Sigh. I should have gone grocery shopping yesterday.

Cliche of the Day

Vicious Circle. A disagreeable situation that keeps repeating itself; a chain of events in which dealing with one problem creates another problem. The term is from formal logic and refers to proving a statement with a second one that relies on the first one for proof. The 1792 edition of the Encyclopaedia Britannica described it: "He runs into what is termed by logicians a vicious circle (failure to make connection between premise and conclusion.)"

I'm sorry. I've been pretty rough on "weekenders". After all, when I was growing up I was a "weekender". Both my sister and my brother are still "weekenders". I suppose I should be more specific in the direction my displeasure runs. Some "weekenders" are totally obnoxious. Some people can be totally obnoxious. It becomes especially apparent on weekends when they throw out any and all concideration for anyone but themselves. A few of them can be forgiven because if they knew they were being thoughtless, they just may fix the problem. Unfortunately, the majority of them could care less about anyone but themselves. I know that come Monday morning, I'll be fishing beer cans and bottles out of the lake again. Plastic bags, pop cans, water bottles and candy wrappers. Litter bugs are an even worse problem then woodticks. And then the noise! The big lake is too big for them so they all pile onto our little lake through the channel to do their jetskiing and water-skiing. Someone finally put up buoys to mark the channel as a NO WAKE zone. HA! That doesn't happen. Apparently, some "weekenders" leave their reading glasses at home and at work. OK. I've vented. I'll be OK.

I did say that I was going to have company. I have company. They arrived earlier then I was expecting but all I had to do was make up the bed and put out clean towels. I really do love showing off our lake to people. I'm going to take them fishing....next week. Not this weekend. It's the BlueGill Festival this weekend. There will be way too many people on the lake tearing back and forth to get any actual fishing done. I'll take them out to see The BlueGill Bar where we can play pool. We'll do the tourist thing. There's usually a street dance and the pancake breakfast. We can watch the parade go down Main Street. The Lions Club always has a Beer Garden set up with BBQ'd chicken. Then we can cheer for the Birchwood Fire Department as they battle the fire departments from the surrounding communities in the annual water fights. I think Haugen won last year. Then maybe we'll all go over to The Porch for a double-decker ice cream cone. And for supper..... there is always the annual All-You-Can-Eat Bluegill Feed. I can't name all of the three days of events. Think Norman Rockwell and you'll be fairly close.

Cliche of the Day

Up and About (Doing). Moving into action; resuming activity after an illness. It doesn't sound like a poetic phrase, but Henry Wadsworth Longfellow employed it in "A Psalm of Life" (1838), which also includes the familiar "Life is real! Life is earnest!" and "Art is long, and Time is fleeting." The last verse is:

Let us, then, be up and doing,
With a heart for any fate;
Still achieving, still pursuing,
Learn to labor and to wait.

The quiet that reigns supreme after company leaves is a truly amazing thing. It's so nice. There aren't words to describe it. Almost as nice as when the "weekenders" leave and I can enjoy the deer, the loons, and the bald eagles again. I don't know the "weekenders" so I grumble and mumble all weekend long while they're taking up space on the lake. I know my company. I don't grumble and mumble. When friends and family come by to visit, they add spice to my life which can only be an enriching experience. "Weekenders" are more like flies that land on your picnic lunch or deerflies buzzing around your head. You just want to shoo them away. Having said all this and after going through that short mourning time when visitors leave, I have to admit that I really do enjoy the quiet that comes after company leaves. Now I just have to wash all those sheets and towels and get ready for the next batch of company that should be showing up in the next day or so. A bit more spice. Unfortunately, the "weekenders" will be rather thick this weekend too. This weekend is Birchwood's 40th Annual Bluegill Festival.

Cliche of the Day

Thick and Fast. In close and rapid succession. It's hard to think of a better way to describe something that's coming at you quickly and in dense numbers. A chronicle of the reign of Henry VIII records this item for 1548: "When mo newe Testamentes were Imprinted thei came thick and threfold into Englande." That was an older way of putting the thought. The current way appears in The Wooden World Dissected, by Edward Ward (1706): "He and his Brother-Jacks...toss Jests and Oaths about as thick and fast as Boys do Squibs."

Warning!

The closest real grocery store to our home here in rural Wisconsin is about 20 miles to the south of us. Because we were having company on Monday, we went shopping on Sunday night. Unfortunately, because it was a Sunday, the very thing that we drove 20 miles to buy was not to be found. We went into town to buy sirloin steaks...a special food sale item for the week and no doubt a favorite BBQ item for people that weekend. There were no steaks. OK. We got the few food items that were there and decided to return to shop again the following morning before our guests were to arrive. Not an impossible thing.

My husband is a very thorough man. He doesn't like driving 20 miles on hopeless grocery, "hunting", missions. When we arrived back to our home here in rural Wisconsin, he checked the Qwestdex directory on the internet to see if there were any butcher shops closer to our home. Makes sense to me. Why drive 20 miles to buy 4 sirloin steaks if you can drive 1 mile to buy 4 sirloin steaks? There were no listings under "butcher" in the near vicinity. He had to drive the 20 miles but before he left he sent me the following email with Warning ! on the subject line:


Hi "Grey Frog",

I used the online "qwestdex" phone directory to see if there were any butcher shops in the Birchwood area. The directory couldn't find any, but Qwestdex responded with two alternatives...consider this a warning to you:

------------------------

What you searched for: "butcher" in "birchwood, WI" and surrounding area.

We could not locate any businesses under butcher. Here are businesses listed under similar categories (Beauty Salons & Services).

SEARCH RESULTS

Alphabetical Listings


MARLENE'S LITTLE BIRCH SALON
410 S MAIN ST BIRCHWOOD, WI 54817-8815

SUSIE Q
MAIN ST BIRCHWOOD, WI 54817


signed.... "Grey Frog's Husband"


I think I'll wait until my next visit to Minneapolis before I get my hair done. Either the person who compiled the listing for Qwestdex had a received a really bad haircut here in rural Wisconsin or they made a really "funny" mistake. I'm willing to bet that the hair salons here are not that bad but....better safe then sorry.

On a side note: We had grilled steak last night for our guests. It was very good.


Cliche of the Day

Safe and Sound. Out of a dangerous predicament. Alliteration and redundancy again. If one is "safe," one is probably "sound," and vice versa. IT has appealed to people since at least 1529, when it appeared in Thomas Lupset's An Exhortation to Yonge Men. Shakespeare records it in Comedy of Errors (1592), where Antipholus of Syracuse says: "I long that we were safe and sound aboard."

Deerflies are really nasty! I'm allergic to their bite but I can deal with that. It's not like I have an life-threatening reaction. It's not pleasant but I can deal with it. What bothers me about deerfly is their incessant buzzing. They circle your head with a determined buzz that is sure to drive you insane or just slightly mad. My dogs don't even want to go outside anymore. Their looks of reproach when I snap on their leashes for our daily walks are classic. I've spent every summer in Wisconsin for as long as I can remember. Deerflies are no mystery. They exist. Get a hat! The hat does help keep them off your vulnerable head. Unfortunately, this does not stop the little beasties from circling your body and head like an invading war party. Diving and circling, circling and diving. No amount of insect repellant will save you from these little horrors. I sprayed myself with enough repellant to drive off every mosquito from here to Arizona. I wore long sleeves and long pants. I wore a hat. I was prepared. I sallied forth to pick the earliest of the wild raspberries. I did not get bit. I stubbornly ignored their persistant whine. I hate deerfly. I can think of no earthly reason that they exist other then to plague all living creatures. If tomorrow someone were to tell me that deerfly were on the endangered species list, (Who in their right mind would do that?) I wouldn't have one moment of regret. I'd search out the last nest and I'd launch a seek and destroy operation. I'm not too fond of mosquitoes either.

Cliche of the Day

Risk Life and Limb. Take a grave chance; embark on a dangerous enterprise. It is a strange ordering of risk. If one puts one's life at stake and loses, it doesn't much matter what happens to one's limbs. It would be a more logical expression as "risk limb and life." At some times in the past it was "life and member." Thus, Thomas Burton's Diary for 1658: "It is not enough to serve in those offices, unless they venture life and member."

Everyone who really knows me, knows that I go to bed early, by most standards. The latest that I ever go to bed is 10 PM. It takes me at least an hour or two after that to actually slip into an unconcious state. I have to work at it. I find that playing a handheld video game helps in this process. Nothing stimulating. Video Poker or Scrabble. I go to bed early because regardless of how late I go to bed, I always wake up early. I usually start waking up at around 4 or 5 AM....but that's too early to actually get up...so I burrow under the covers and pretend that I'm sleeping and every 5 minutes peek out to check the clock until it's 6 AM. 6 AM isn't too bad. I can get up and have a cup of coffee at 6 AM without feeling too guilty. Last night...or this morning if you want to be technical, we didn't get home from the our Minnesota visit until 2 AM. So I slept in until 7 AM. Now I'm all off schedule. I had to drive into our little gas station on the corner of our little town and buy a newspaper. Several newspapers because I thought I'd pick up a newspaper for my parents while I was there. Then I went over to see my parents to collect my dogs (my parents were taking care of my dogs while were were in Minnesota and it didn't seem like a good idea to pick anything up at 2 AM). I was able to grab my first cup of coffee of the morning while we visited. Now I'm back here and I didn't have to make coffee because my husband made the coffee. I need to make breakfast though. I suppose the whole day will be off and irregular. I'll have to go to bed early tonight and see if I can get back on schedule for tomorrow. I hate going to bed late.

PS. The crayfish traps I baited yesterday yielded a bucket full of crayfish this morning. There were so many that they were escaping from the bucket and crawling through my kitchen. I had to round them up to toss them into the boiling pot. Now all I have to do is clean them. I'd better go pick the lettuce from the garden too. I feel like the White Rabbit from Alice in Wonderland.

Cliche of the Day

Queer Duck (Fish). An odd person. Why the animal should be a "duck" or a "fish" rather than something else (such as a "bat," which many people regard as an animal of odd behavior) is hard to say. "Duck" has served to mean a person since the 19th century, starting in the United States as slang. Thus, Mark Twain in Roughing It (1872): "Are you the duck that runs the gospel-mill next door?"

The fish weren't biting on leeches; not off the dock anyway and I didn't want to take out the boat. The leeches were only attracting crayfish. I did finally catch enough bluegills with "waxies" (a little white grub worm) to ovenfry for supper. I'm going to have to go buy more Shore Lunch. Shore Lunch is the brand of seasoned coating that I use to ovenfry my fish. I usually mix up my own breading mix but Shore Lunch is very good and a lot less bother. When you get older you stray toward those things that make your life as easy as possible. Things like Prego. Frozen stirfry vegetables. Skillet dinners.

I still make my own spaghetti sauce...sometimes. I still cut up my own vegetables...most of the time. Those Lean Cuisine Skillet dinners are GOOD! I thin them out by mixing them up with a bag of frozen vegetables and I've got a really easy, really great tasting meal for 4 people...or two meals for 2 people. NO. The diet is not affecting (or is that effecting...I never get that straight) my mind.

I'm off for an entire day in Minneapolis, Minnesota again today. We're doing a "relative" visit again. My husband is going to go and discuss family genealogy with his cousin. I'm going to go get my hair done while he's doing that. Then we're all meeting at Bucca de Beppo (fine Italian eating establishment) for dinner. It's going to be a late night. I expect we'll be playing our usual game of "Dodge Deer" (similar to that old Comodore 64 game "Frogger") on our way back to Wisconsin tonight. We try not to play "Count the Road Kill". One time when I was growing up, my parents stopped the car to allow my brother to collect a particularly nice raccoon specimen (roadkill encountered on our many return trips from Wisconsin) to bring to his Biology teacher (a practicing taxidermist). I think my mother put the poor thing in the freezer when we got home. I wonder if he got any extra credit for that?

Cliche of the Day

Put on Ice. Set aside; stored; kept in reserve until needed. The ice house or ice box, filled with blocks of ice cut from a lake or a river, predates the gas or electric refrigerator. People were putting food on blocks of ice a century ago to preserve it. The idea transferred readily to things other than food. Paul L. Ford offered this version in The Honorable Peter Stirling (1894): "They say she's never been able to find a man good enough for her, and so she's keeping herself on ice."

The fish weren't biting so I baited my crayfish traps. Wow! No wonder the fish weren't biting. I couldn't believe how many crayfish I caught. My husband keeps telling me that bass really love crayfish. Unfortunately, there is a law here in Wisconsin that says that you can't use crayfish as bait. Apparently, some enterprising salespeople sold some non-native crayfish to fishermen and the non-native crayfish are now polluting the Wisconsin lakes. So now, no-one is allowed to use any crayfish as bait...even if said crayfish are caught in the same lake that you plan to fish in because the wardens can't tell if you are fishing with native crayfish or foreign crayfish. Apparently, they all look alike. So now I'm wondering if all those crayfish I just caught in my traps are native crayfish or foreign crayfish. They all boiled and cleaned up just fine and will make a great crayfish cocktail for my next party. After I get off the computer I'll have to go check the traps again. Maybe I'll bait up with a leech and see if any actual fish are biting today. With any luck at all, we'll have a fish fry tonight.

Cliche of the Day

Other things Being Equal. Provided that nothing outweighs the matter you are considering or is changing in its effect on the matter. The phrase is a translation of the Latin ceteris paribus, which is occasionally still used to convey the thought. In 1889 the Saturday Review offered: "Other things being equal, the chances of any man being hit in action vary...with the rate of fire to which he is exposed." (If The New Yorker had been on the scene then, it might have run the sentence from Saturday Review under its heading, A Thought for This Week.)

A friend sent me the following "funny" in honor of the ever increasing jobless rate.


Job Descriptions

An accountant is someone who knows the cost of everything and the value of nothing.

An auditor is someone who arrives after the battle and bayonets all the wounded.

A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain. (Mark Twain)

An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today.

A statistician is someone who is good with numbers but lacks the personality to be an accountant.

An actuary is someone who brings a fake bomb on a plane, because that decreases the chances that there will be another bomb on the plane. (Laurence J. Peter)

A programmer is someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand.

A mathematician is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat which isn't there. (Charles R. Darwin)

A topologist is a man who doesn't know the difference between a coffee cup and a doughnut.

A lawyer is a person who writes a 10,000 word document and calls it a "brief". (Franz Kafka)

A psychologist is a man who watches everyone else when a beautiful girl enters the room.

A professor is one who talks in someone else's sleep.

A schoolteacher a is disillusioned woman who used to think she liked children.

A consultant is someone who takes the watch off your wrist, tells you the time, and then sends you a bill for it.

A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.

Cliche of the Day

Naked Truth. Why naked? Well, an old fable has it that Truth and Falsehood went for a swim together, leaving their clothes on shore. Falsehood came out of the water first and put on Truth's clothes. Truth, refusing to don the clothes of Falsehood, went naked.

Why do people drink coffee? I know why I drink coffee. I'm addicted to caffeine. I used to drink my coffee black when I was in South America. I don't know why the coffee tastes so much better in South America. You can brew it thick enough for a spoon dissolve but it never tastes bitter. I don't care how weak or strong I make my coffee back here in "The States", it always tastes bitter. Must be the beans. I drink it with cream now because something had to give this "American Roof Water" aka coffee better flavor. I only require a dab of cream....and maybe a dash of salt to get rid of the bitter. What I don't understand is why people add all that other stuff to their coffee. Have you seen all the stuff they put into those coffee drinks at the Mall? These people aren't getting caffeine jitters, they're getting a sugar high. Is there any remaining coffee taste remaining? Where do you draw the line and stop calling such drinks coffee? The varieties are amazing! Whipped cream? Caramel sauce?

I have to admit, I do enjoy Cafe Latte. I order a Tall Double shot. No sugar please. No additional flavorings requested. Everytime I place my order I have to remind the girl/guy taking my order that I want a double shot. And everytime, they come back with a reply, "We always use a double shot in the Tall." Try it for yourself. You'll get the same reaction everytime. Now if I ordered a regular size Latte, I wouldn't have this problem. They would just put a double shot of espresso into my regular size Latte. What they don't seem to grasp is that I want them to double the amount of espresso that is normally put into my drink regardless of how large a portion I'm ordering. I now have to explain to them that if they put a double shot of espresso in the Tall, they need to put two double shots of espresso in MY Latte when I ask for a double shot. Apparently these kids are not destined to become rocket scientists. I pray that they aren't putting themselves through school to become my doctor or nurse. I shudder to think.

Cliche of the Day

Makes Your Hair Stand on End. Is a frightening or unnerving experience. The goose pimples that come on when one is startled or frightened raise the hairs near them, as the Bible reminds us (Job 4: 13-14): "Fear came upon me, and trembling, which made all my bones to shake. Then a spirit passed before my face; the hair of my flesh stood up."

Mary, Mary, quite contrary, how does your garden grow? My name isn't Mary but I can say that my garden is growing just fine. I love to grow my own vegetables despite the fact that I probably spend more money doing so then if I were to go to the store and buy vegetables there. I remember one year when I grew zucchini. Lots of zucchini. I planted two 20 foot rows of the stuff. I shudder when I remember all the zucchini logs that I produced that year. There aren't enough recipes in the world for one person to use all the zucchini that came out of that garden. I've matured since then. I now have six small raised-bed gardens surrounded by a large dog kennel to keep the deer out. I plant only those few things that I really want and know that I'll still be here in Wisconsin to enjoy. I've limited myself to 3 zucchini plants which I have every hope won't take over the world. I've vowed never to plant another garden that takes over my entire life and half the neighborhood too. I have high hopes that I'll be picking and canning beans this summer. In the meantime, while we're waiting for my garden to produce spectacular yields, please enjoy the following "funny" sent to me by a friend.

Martha Stewart's Advice to Rednecks

General

-Never take a beer to a job interview.
-Always identify people in your yard before shooting at them.
-It's considered tacky to take a cooler to church.
-If you have to vacuum the bed, it is time to change the sheets.
-Even if you're certain that you are included in the will, it is still considered tacky to drive a U-Haul to the funeral home.

Dining Out

- When decanting wine, make sure that you tilt the paper cup, and pour slowly so as not to "bruise" the fruit of the wine.
- If drinking directly from the bottle, always hold it with your fingers covering the label.

Entertaining in your home

- A centerpiece for the table should never be anything prepared by a taxidermist.
- Do not allow the dog to eat at the table...no matter how good his manners are.

Personal Hygiene

- While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this is a job that should be done in private using one's OWN truck keys.
- Proper use of toiletries can forestall bathing for several days. However, if you live alone, deodorant is a waste of good money.
- Dirt and grease under the fingernails is a social no-no, as they tend to detract from a woman's jewelry and alter the taste of finger foods.

Dating (outside the family)

- Always offer to bait your date's hook, especially on the first date. Be aggressive. Let her know you're interested: "I've been wanting to go out with you since I read that stuff on the bathroom wall two years ago."
- Establish with her parents what time she is expected back. Some will say 10:00 PM; Others might say "Monday." If the latter is the answer, it is the man's responsibility to get her to school on time.

Theater Etiquette

- Crying babies should be taken to the lobby and picked up immediately after the movie has ended.
- Refrain from talking to characters on the screen. Tests have proven they can't hear you.

Weddings

- Livestock, usually, is a poor choice for a wedding gift.
- Kissing the bride for more than 5 seconds may get you shot.
- For the groom,at least, rent a tux. A leisure suit with a cummerbund and a clean bowling shirt can create a tacky appearance.
- Though uncomfortable, say "yes" to socks and shoes for this special occasion.

Driving Etiquette

- Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles; Even if the gun is loaded, and the deer is in sight.
- When approaching a four-way stop, the vehicle with the largest tires always has the right of way.
- Never tow another car using panty hose and duct tape.
- When sending your wife down the road with a gas can, it is impolite to ask her to bring back beer.
- Do not lay rubber while traveling in a funeral procession.

Cliche of the Day

Labor of Love. Something done out of affection or deep interest rather than for money. It is a phrase from Saint Paul (1 Thessalonians 2-3): "We give thanks to God always for you all, making mention of you in our prayers; Remembering without ceasing your work of faith and labour of love, and patience of hope in our Lord Jesus Christ, in the sight of God..."

OK. I'll admit it. I don't feel like writing today. Maybe I'll think of something to write tomorrow. In the meantime, failing an original piece, enjoy the following "funny" that someone sent me a while back.


WORDS OF WISDOM


I am in shape. Round is a shape.

Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.

Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic.

Conscience is what hurts when everything else feels so good.

Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.

Even if you are on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.

An optimist thinks that this is the best possible world. A pessimist fears that this is true.

There will always be death and taxes; however, death doesn't get worse every year.

In just two days, tomorrow will be yesterday.

I am a nutritional overachiever.

I am having an out of money experience.

I plan on living forever. So far, so good.

A day without sunshine is like night.

It's frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.

The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.

Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.

Age doesn't always bring wisdom. Sometimes age comes alone.

Life not only begins at forty, it also begins to show.

You don't stop laughing because you grow old, you grow old because you stopped laughing.

Cliche of the Day

Keep a Stiff Upper Lip Remain stoical; maintain one's courage; do not show emotion in an adverse stiuation. John Neal use it in Down Easters (1833): "What's the use of boohooin'? ...Keep a stiff upper lip; no bones broke--don't I know?" The saying arises from the fact that a prelude to crying is a trembling of the upper lip; the advice is to keep it firm and not weep. The British have an expression almost as old: "Keep your pecker up." The "pecker" here is an analogy to the beak of a bird.

Normally I don't like to take tests. Who does? Well...some of them aren't all that bad. I did take the following one which a friend sent me. Since there wasn't anyone grading me, I figured what's the harm?

Personality Quiz

This is fun and very accurate; it takes 2 minutes. Take this test for yourself. I'll post my score in the comment section of my blog but don't peek. Begin the test as you scroll down. Answers are for who you are now, not who you were in the past.

Have pen or pencil and paper ready. This is a real test given by the Human Relations Dept. at many of the major corporations today.

It helps them get a better insight concerning their employees and prospective employees.

It's only 10 simple questions, so grab a pencil and paper, keeping track of your letter answers.

Ready??

Begin...

1. When do you feel your best?

(a) in the morning
(b) during the afternoon & early evening
(c) late at night


2. You usually walk:

(a) fairly fast, with long steps
(b) fairly fast, with short, quick steps
(c) less fast head up, looking the world in the face
(d) less fast, head down
(e) very slowly


3. When talking to people you:

(a) stand with your arms folded
(b) have your hands clasped
(c) have one or both your hands on your hips
(d) touch or push the person to whom you are talking
(e) play with your ear, touch your chin, or smooth your hair


4. When relaxing, you sit with:

(a) your knees bent with your legs neatly side by side
(b) your legs crossed
(c) your legs stretched out or straight
(d) one leg curled under you


5. When something really amuses you, you react with:

(a) a big, appreciative laugh
(b) a laugh, but not a loud one
(c) a quiet chuckle
(d) a sheepish smile


6. When you go to a party or social gathering you:

(a) make a loud entrance so everyone notices you
(b) make a quiet entrance, looking around for someone you know
(c) make the quietest entrance, trying to stay unnoticed


7. You're working very hard, concentrating hard, and you're interrupted. Do you:

(a) welcome the break
(b) feel extremely irritated
(c) vary between these two extremes


8. Which of the following colors do you like most?

(a) red or orange
(b) black
(c) yellow or light blue
(d) green
(e) dark blue or purple
(f) white
(g) brown or gray


9. When you are in bed at night, in those last few moments going to sleep, you lie:

(a) stretched out on your back
(b) stretched out face down on your stomach
(c) on your side, slightly curled
(d) with your head on one arm
(e) with your head under the covers


10. You often dream that you are:

(a) falling
(b) fighting or struggling
(c) searching for something or somebody
(d) flying or floating
(e) you usually have dreamless sleep
(f) your dreams are always pleasant


POINTS:

1. (a) 2; (b) 4; (c) 6;

2. (a) 6; (b) 4; (c) 7; (d) 2; (e) 1

3. (a) 4; (b) 2; (c) 5; (d) 7; (e) 6

4. (a) 4; (b) 6; (c) 2; (d) 1

5. (a) 6; (b) 4; (c) 3; (d) 5; (e) 2

6. (a) 6; (b) 4; (c) 2

7. (a) 6; (b) 2; (c) 4

8. (a) 6; (b) 7; (c) 5; (d) 4; (e) 3; (f) 2; (g) 1

9. (a) 7; (b) 6; (c) 4; (d) 2; (e) 1

10. (a) 4; (b) 2; (c) 3; (d) 5; (e) 6; (f) 1


Now add up the total number of points.


OVER 60 POINTS:

Others see you as someone they should handle with care. You're seen as vain, self-centered, and extremely dominant. Others may admire you, wishing they could be more like you, but don't always trust you, hesitating to become too
deeply involved with you.


51 TO 60 POINTS

Others see you as exciting, highly volatile, rather impulsive, a natural leader, who's quick to make decisions, though not always the right ones. They see you as bold and adventuresome, someone who'll try anything once, takes chances and enjoys an adventure. They enjoy being in your company because of the excitement you radiate.


41 TO 50 POINTS:

Others see you as fresh, lively, charming, amusing, practical, always interesting; someone who's constantly in the center of attention, but sufficiently well-balanced not to let it go to their head. They also see you as kind, considerate, understanding someone who'll always cheer them up and help them out.


31 TO 40 POINTS:

Others see you as sensible, cautious, careful, practical. They see you as clever, gifted, or talented, but modest--not someone to make friends too quickly or easily, but extremely loyal to friends you do make and you expect the same loyalty in return. Those who really get to know you realize it takes a lot to shake your trust in your friends, but equally that it takes you a long time to get over it if that trust is ever broken.

21 TO 30 POINTS:

Your friends see you as painstaking and fussy-very cautious, extremely careful, a slow and steady plodder. It'd really surprise them if you ever did something impulsively or on the spur of the moment, expecting you to examine everything carefully from every angle and then, usually decide against it. They think this reaction is caused partly by your careful nature.


UNDER 21 POINTS:

People think you're shy, nervous, indecisive, someone who needs looking after, who always wants someone else to make the decisions & doesn't want to get involved with anyone or anything. They see you as a worrierwho always sees nonexistent problems. Some think you're boring. Only those who know you well know you aren't.


Cliche of the Day

Jot or Tittle. A minute amount (or nothing, as in the saying "not one jot or tittle"). "Jot" is a variant of the Greek iota, the letter i. which was the smallest letter in the Greek alphabet; "tittle" is the dot over the i. The phrase appears in the Bible (Matthew 5:18), where Jesus says, "For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled."

OK. Back to the diet. First thing to do is hide those chips. I froze the rest of the bratwurst. They don't taste too good if they're frozen. Better hide those cookies too. I'm back on the wagon again. Cue the inspirational music.

The fireworks were wonderful last night. Beautiful. We went to the same place that we went last year. A small field outside a nearby town which boasts of having The Biggest Little Parade in Wisconsin, though we missed the parade. The people who sat next to us had their Brittany Spaniel along. Poor thing kept snapping at the mosquitoes. Probably would have gained some weight if it weren't for all the effort the dog expended in the process. There were a lot of mosquitoes. Enough to obscure the view at times. There were lots of kids too. Of course the mosquitoes out-numbered us all. I'm glad I took the precaution to wear mosquito dope. That's what we used to call it, "mosquito dope". I remember when it used to come in a tube with a delivery mechanism similar to that of Chap-Stick. It had the consistancy of Chap-Stick too. I used to love the smell of that stuff. The mosquitoes probably loved the smell of it too. I don't remember the brand name anymore. We just called it mosquito dope. I don't like the smell of the mosquito spray that is sold these days. It tends to give me a headache. My only hope is that it has the same effect on the mosquitoes. I remember when Off first came out. It was a clear liquid sold in tiny glass bottles. You'd pour a tiny amount into your hand and smear it on any exposed areas. My mother sold her last antique bottle of the stuff last summer at her garage sale. I wonder if mosquito dope has an expiration date. I wonder if it goes bad, or do the mosquitoes just slurp it up and come back for more? Who knows? Maybe the gal who bought the antique mosquito dope made a fortune selling the bottle on E-Bay and now can afford a lifetime supply of Deep-Woods Off while laughing all the way to the bank. I remember when mosquito spray first came out. We still called it mosquito dope. I remember my Grandfather yelling at us when my brother and I sprayed some on our hair to keep away the deerflies. He told my brother that it would make him bald when he got older. Wait a minute. Well at least I still have all my hair.

Cliche of the Day

I Wouldn't Touch It With A Ten-Foot Pole. It's dangerous or disagreeable, and I intend to avoid it. The "ten-foot pole" is not an item ready to hand, and neither is the "barge pole," which figured in a similar expression. Still, they both serve as figures of speech, and so did "tongs". With "tongs" the expression was known by 1639, when John Clarke included it in his Paroemiologia Anglo-Latino: "Not to be handled with a paire of tongues." The "ten-foot pole" was in use in the expression by 1758, the "barge pole" by 1877.

Happy July 4th everyone! I love the 4th of July. It's the fireworks. All those beautiful bursts of color. The "single bright light and large boom" ones aren't my favorites. That's a nice way of saying that I don't like those. I prefer the huge multi-color ones and the whistler's. While I was going to college, one of my jobs was being one of those salesladies who have to chase giggling kids away from the "NO-NO, ADULTS ONLY" section at Spenser's in the Southdale Mall, one of the few Minneapolis Malls at that time. It was a long time ago. Funny, Spenser's still thrive at most malls across our nation....they still have the same stuff....even the "NO-NO, ADULTS ONLY" section. The place pretty much smells the same too. Anyway, they had these neat fiber-optic lamps that look kind of like fireworks without the noise. I saved up and bought myself one with my employee discount. I still have it. I think in one of those many boxes stored in my closet in Arizona. Probably right next to my box of baskets. If anyone is interested, I think Spenser's still sells fiber-optic lamps....in that area with all the blacklights and lava lamps.

Of course the 4th of July wouldn't be the 4th of July without the pre-requisite BBQ. I've got beer cooling in the fridge and bratwurst marinating. We'll have baked beans and chips and dips too. No potato salad this year....I'm on a diet. Kind of reminds me of that gal or guy (I'm trying to be PC about this) at the Mall who washes down her "Fatburger" and extra large order of greasy fries with a diet pop. I'm never sure why they bother to order a diet pop. Do they think the diet pop will absorb all the calories? Is it a fleeting form of penance? My feeling is, SCREW THE DIET! Hey! Order that chocolate malt too. Go back on your diet tomorrow. Get rid of all those cravings! Life is too short to spend it taking guilt trip after guilt trip. Tomorrow when I go back on my diet, I don't want to be dreaming of the chocolate malt that got away. It's the 4th of July. I hereby declare today as my Independence Day! I'll go back on my diet tomorrow.

Cliche of the Day

Half a Loaf is Better Than None. It's better to get part of what you want than none of it. John Heywood's Proverbs (1546) had this one:

Throw no gift at the giver's head;
Better a half a loaf than no bread.

The thought was put even more sternly in Naaman the Syrian, by Daniel Rogers (1642): "He is a foole who counts not halfe a loafe better than no bread, or despiseth the moonshine because the sun is down."

My husband and myself just spent the last few days organizing our office. The process involves heart-wrenching decisions over what to keep and what to throw away. Sometimes this isn't all that difficult but other times, I mean why should we keep the warranty for that can-opener that we donated two years ago, but you never know when you may need that rubber gasket or that twist tie or that single screw that came from who knows where. And of course, I really shouldn't have to explain that a universal truth comes into play here where the things my husband thinks should be thrown away are never his things and the things I think should be thrown away are never my things. You will be relieved to know that eventually our small office was reorganized...well...as good as it's going to get for right now. Then yesterday, I picked up our mail from the post office and received the following "funny" from a friend. The author, Hilary B. Price writes a comic stip called Rhymes With Orange. I'm Afflicted!!!!! And it hasn't stopped at baskets! It's mayonaise jars, and peach crates, and margarine tubs, and obsolete computer equipment, and garden seeds and plastic and paper grocery bags and.... Wait a minute....Do bushel baskets count?

Is Someone You Love Afflicted?

There is an epidemic in this country....it's called Basket Hoarding
According to our research, each household has 6.3 baskets* stored in their basement or in a hard-to-reach kitchen cabinet...
Scientists have linked this condition to the "Cause-You-Never-Know" syndrome, for which there is still no cure...

Essentials Checklist

[ ] piece of bubble-wrap

[ ] old screws in a jar

[ ] twisty-ties

[ ] etc, etc, etc...........


* 7.6 in the Midwest


Cliche of the Day

Goods and Chattels. One's possessions. "Chattel" derives from an old French word for cattle, but by the 16th century it had come to mean property and thus to contribute to one of the law's redundancies, since both "goods" and "chattels" mean property. William Lambarde, in A Perambulation of Kent (1570), wrote of the "custodie, not of the landes onely, but the goods and chattels also."

There is this wonderful store in Rice Lake, Wisconsin which calls itself Bargain Bill's. This place is great! I make it a point to stop in there at least once a summer. Amazing stuff. You never know what you may find. They have actually expanded so they now have 4 buildings on their property. The new building is called The Boat House. One would expect to find boats for sale in such a store and there was one boat. I had to laugh when this one woman with a delighted expression on her face stated that she and her husband had stopped in to see if they could find a boat. Her husband never knew what hit him. She was behind me in the check-out line. The place was filled with interesting treasures. I wonder what one could do with a porcelain balloon molds? They had boxes of those in every shape and size. I suppose they might make good drawer pulls? Or maybe you could buy a few and use them as coat hooks? They also had boxes of porcelain glove molds. They had a couple of them sitting at the register as a ring display. I bet my youngest daughter would have loved a few of those porcelain hands to decorate her apartment. My husband bought a snow shovel. I passed up the opportunity to buy wooden military cartridge boxes. They were really neat. Only $4.95 each. My son would have loved one. I was thinking that they'd make great window boxes for flowers on our deck.

After paying for our purchases at The Boat House, we went on to the main building where I could have spent the rest of the day. My hunting instincts were really in full gear. This was a veritable hunter's paradise. I spent a lot more then I intended, monetarily speaking. My husband was riding shotgun but there were tools....lots of neat tools. I think he was distracted by the tools. I didn't buy that cool sign that read, "Hell Has No Fury Like a Dad When His Tools Aren't Put Away"... or that one that read, "Laundry Room....Drop Your Drawers Here". But I really couldn't resist those cute frog figurines. I bought a frog sprinkler too....and a frog sitting by a sign "Mom's Garden" was just too hard to pass up. Then there were those cute garden markers with the smiling tomatoes and lettuces. I wish they'd had the cucumber and bean markers but I guess they must have gone first....or weren't a part of that auction lot.

They have groceries too. Canned goods. Amazing prices. I was able to pick up some canned black beans at .25 a can. And I found this really neat mustard to try. BBQ sauce. And some crackers. And cookies. Wow! And some new towels for the kitchen. I resisted the glasses but bemoaned the fact that I'd spent a great deal more money on some glasses at another store. These were cheaper....and nicer too. I really hate it when that happens.

Shopping Nirvana! I will have to go back at least one more time this summer. I may even go this weekend! I think I'll bring my sister and mother and my daughter too if she can get away for the weekend. Three generations of "hunters". Bliss. I wonder if those cartridge boxes will still be there?

Cliche of the Day

Filled to the Brim. Getting the maximum of statisfaction out of something; exhibiting the utmost. You can't get any more into a container that is thus filled, and the thought easily transfers to other things, as in The Mikado, by Gilbert and Sullivan (1885):

Three little maids from school are we,
Pert as a schoolgirl well can be,
Filled to the brim with girlish glee.

The other day my mother gave me the following article that she clipped from the Rice Lake Early Bird, a local newspaper out here in our little spot on Planet Wisconsin, dated June 22, 2003. Good thing I don't have a cold. But even if I did, I can assure you that I would not kiss one of those mice in my basement.

Pliny The Elder, the naturalist who was asphyxiated in the A.D. eruption of Vesuvius, prescribed the following treatment for a cold: "kiss the hairy muzzle of a mouse."

This article was released exactly one week after my blog (posted June 13th) which made a reference (a fictitious creation...or at least so I thought at the time) to Pliny The Elder in regards to Pliny The Younger mentioned in the Cliche of the Day. I figured at the time that I was pretty safe inventing a Pliny The Elder since there indeed was a Pliny The Younger. It was nice to have an article which validated my "inventiveness".

Cliche of the Day

Eternal Verities, The. Enduring principles; something that is supposed to be regarded as important because and authority says it is. John Locke gave the non-sardonic version in Latin in 1681, writing in his Journal: "our knowledg of generall things are eternae veritates and depend not upon the existence or accidents of things...."