Word of the Day
Liplash - The pain caused to one's neck when a speaker suddenly stops talking.
Cold/Flu - Day 28
I'm at that uncomfortable stage where it feels like I have to clear my throat on an almost constant basis. It's embarrassing because people all turn around stare at me thinking that I'm trying to draw their attention for some reason or other.
I went in and got my hair cut and colored. Woohoo! No more grey until the end of next month when my hair will have grown enough for the grey to reappear. I really am going to have to figure out a way to gradually turn grey. Last time I let my hair go totally grey and it REALLY startled on of my good friends. I'm not sure if I'm ready for grey hair yet but nature tells another story. I really should get my hair dyed once a month but I'm not independently wealthy and it costs too much so I try to hold off for a two to three months. Three months was definitely pushing it. Oh well, it's done. While I was there I decided to treat myself to a manicure today too. Any bets as to how long it'll take before the nail polish will chip? I already messed one nail up a bit when I reached into my purse to pay for my day at the spa but that doesn't count as a chip. I'll keep you posted. So far so good and you can't hardly tell that I messed up the polish on that one nail.
HTP and I are heading off to Vegas tomorrow morning. Do I need to remind you all that I might not blog while I'm in Vegas? I might blog but then again I might not.
Murphyism of the Day
Campbell's Law
The less you do, the less can go wrong.
Monday, January 30, 2006
Sunday, January 29, 2006
Word of the Day
Limocrat - A rich Democrat.
Cold/Flu - 27
Despite the continued count, I'm feeling fine. I still have a cough but it's getting better and the pleurisy symptoms are getting better as well.
It has been extremely dry here where we live in Arizona. There hasn't been a drop of rain (measurable) since October 18th. 102 days without rain. My rain gauge that graces my backyard remains empty, just waiting to prove its worth. We sure could use some rain. Maybe if I bring my rain gauge inside....
Murphyism of the Day
Irene's Law
There is no right way to do the wrong thing.
Limocrat - A rich Democrat.
Cold/Flu - 27
Despite the continued count, I'm feeling fine. I still have a cough but it's getting better and the pleurisy symptoms are getting better as well.
It has been extremely dry here where we live in Arizona. There hasn't been a drop of rain (measurable) since October 18th. 102 days without rain. My rain gauge that graces my backyard remains empty, just waiting to prove its worth. We sure could use some rain. Maybe if I bring my rain gauge inside....
Murphyism of the Day
Irene's Law
There is no right way to do the wrong thing.
Saturday, January 28, 2006
Word of the Day
Limpact - The result of foot pain.
Cold/Flu - Day 26
There are certain truths in this life. One of those truths is maintenance Must Be Done. You need to maintain your car or it won't run. You need to vacuum your carpet your it won't last as long. You need to paint your house or your neighbors will complain but not before the wood on your house may need to be replaced. You need to maintain your body or you'll get sick. Sometimes you get sick anyway but that's another story. You need to maintain your hair. For me this means that I need to go get another dye job. That's for Monday. I'll get the car washed on Sunday after church.
Today, I did wardrobe maintenance that no-one will notice but me. I needed to buy unmentionables (that's undies for those who don't know what unmentionables are) and socks.
My unmentionables had developed the unforgivable habit of creeping...or migrating...or whatever you want to call it. I might as well have been wearing those thong things that embarrass #1 son so much. My socks decided that they'd prefer to slip down around my ankles and into my shoes. So, maintenance was the order of the day. This was a solo shopping trip. HTP decided that I could handle this sort of maintenance on my own.
Murphyism of the Day
Lee's Law
It takes less time to do something right than it takes to explain why you did it wrong.
Limpact - The result of foot pain.
Cold/Flu - Day 26
There are certain truths in this life. One of those truths is maintenance Must Be Done. You need to maintain your car or it won't run. You need to vacuum your carpet your it won't last as long. You need to paint your house or your neighbors will complain but not before the wood on your house may need to be replaced. You need to maintain your body or you'll get sick. Sometimes you get sick anyway but that's another story. You need to maintain your hair. For me this means that I need to go get another dye job. That's for Monday. I'll get the car washed on Sunday after church.
Today, I did wardrobe maintenance that no-one will notice but me. I needed to buy unmentionables (that's undies for those who don't know what unmentionables are) and socks.
My unmentionables had developed the unforgivable habit of creeping...or migrating...or whatever you want to call it. I might as well have been wearing those thong things that embarrass #1 son so much. My socks decided that they'd prefer to slip down around my ankles and into my shoes. So, maintenance was the order of the day. This was a solo shopping trip. HTP decided that I could handle this sort of maintenance on my own.
Murphyism of the Day
Lee's Law
It takes less time to do something right than it takes to explain why you did it wrong.
Friday, January 27, 2006
Word of the Day
Liebrary - A collection of political speeches and campaign promises.
Cold/Flu - Day 25
I'm drawing a blank here but I read the following "funny" and thought I'd share because my neighbor loves cigars and I'm addicted to talk radio and Rush loves cigars too. I'm not sure if it's true or not because I'm too lazy to check it out online but if it is true....
This is the best lawyer story of the year, decade and probably the century.
A Charlotte, NC, lawyer purchased a box of very rare and expensive cigars, then insured them against fire among other things. Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of these great cigars and without yet having made even his first premium payment on the policy, the lawyer filed claim against the insurance company.
In his claim, the lawyer stated the cigars were lost "in a series of small fires." The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason: that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion.
The lawyer sued...and won!
In delivering the ruling the judge agreed with the insurance company that the claim was frivolous. The Judge stated nevertheless, that the lawyer held a policy from the company in which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure them against fire, without defining what is considered to be unacceptable fire, and was obligated to pay the claim.
Rather than endure lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance company accepted the ruling and paid $15,000 to the lawyer for his loss of the rare cigars lost in the "fires."
NOW FOR THE BEST PART...
After the lawyer cashed the check, the insurance company had him arrested on 24 counts of ARSON!!!! With his own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case being used against him, the lawyer was convicted of intentionally burning his insured property and was sentenced to 24 months in jail and a $24,000 fine. This is a true story and was the 1st place winner in a Criminal Lawyers Award Contest.
ONLY IN AMERICA!!!
Murphyism of the Day
Law of Conservation of Tsouris
The amount of aggravation in the universe is a constant.
Corollary
If things are going well in one area, they are going wrong in another.
Liebrary - A collection of political speeches and campaign promises.
Cold/Flu - Day 25
I'm drawing a blank here but I read the following "funny" and thought I'd share because my neighbor loves cigars and I'm addicted to talk radio and Rush loves cigars too. I'm not sure if it's true or not because I'm too lazy to check it out online but if it is true....
This is the best lawyer story of the year, decade and probably the century.
A Charlotte, NC, lawyer purchased a box of very rare and expensive cigars, then insured them against fire among other things. Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of these great cigars and without yet having made even his first premium payment on the policy, the lawyer filed claim against the insurance company.
In his claim, the lawyer stated the cigars were lost "in a series of small fires." The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason: that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion.
The lawyer sued...and won!
In delivering the ruling the judge agreed with the insurance company that the claim was frivolous. The Judge stated nevertheless, that the lawyer held a policy from the company in which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure them against fire, without defining what is considered to be unacceptable fire, and was obligated to pay the claim.
Rather than endure lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance company accepted the ruling and paid $15,000 to the lawyer for his loss of the rare cigars lost in the "fires."
NOW FOR THE BEST PART...
After the lawyer cashed the check, the insurance company had him arrested on 24 counts of ARSON!!!! With his own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case being used against him, the lawyer was convicted of intentionally burning his insured property and was sentenced to 24 months in jail and a $24,000 fine. This is a true story and was the 1st place winner in a Criminal Lawyers Award Contest.
ONLY IN AMERICA!!!
Murphyism of the Day
Law of Conservation of Tsouris
The amount of aggravation in the universe is a constant.
Corollary
If things are going well in one area, they are going wrong in another.
Thursday, January 26, 2006
Word of the Day
Lickitysplat - Going really fast then suddenly crashing into something.
Cold/Flu - Day 24
And you thought mosquitoes were nasty. I only had to give two vials of blood but that's more than enough to feed a whole generation of mosquitoes. I was more than ready for a cup of coffee after my fasting. We went to the new Village Inn for breakfast. After all our experience, you'd think we'd have learned NEVER to go to a newly opened restaurant. The pot of coffee that they brought us was just enough for two tiny cups of coffee. We had to beg for a second pot of coffee and it too was filled with two tiny cups of coffee. I asked for the 5 oz. steak and egg breakfast. Eggs basted. My breakfast came with over hard eggs and an over-cooked piece of meat. I sent it back. I wanted rare steak and if I wanted a hard cooked egg, I would have asked for it. The waitress looked like she really wished she wasn't working. Oh well...the second attempt worked out fine. She even made a mistake and ordered me the 10 oz. steak. I only ate 5 oz. but HTP got a taste. I suppose that you've noticed that by going out to eat, we really cheated on our diet. Hey! I needed to replenish after my fast and this was brunch. Besides, I NEEDED coffee! NOW! I'll make diet fare for supper.
Murphyism of the Day
Murphy's Law of Topology
The shortest distance between two points is a downward spiral.
Lickitysplat - Going really fast then suddenly crashing into something.
Cold/Flu - Day 24
And you thought mosquitoes were nasty. I only had to give two vials of blood but that's more than enough to feed a whole generation of mosquitoes. I was more than ready for a cup of coffee after my fasting. We went to the new Village Inn for breakfast. After all our experience, you'd think we'd have learned NEVER to go to a newly opened restaurant. The pot of coffee that they brought us was just enough for two tiny cups of coffee. We had to beg for a second pot of coffee and it too was filled with two tiny cups of coffee. I asked for the 5 oz. steak and egg breakfast. Eggs basted. My breakfast came with over hard eggs and an over-cooked piece of meat. I sent it back. I wanted rare steak and if I wanted a hard cooked egg, I would have asked for it. The waitress looked like she really wished she wasn't working. Oh well...the second attempt worked out fine. She even made a mistake and ordered me the 10 oz. steak. I only ate 5 oz. but HTP got a taste. I suppose that you've noticed that by going out to eat, we really cheated on our diet. Hey! I needed to replenish after my fast and this was brunch. Besides, I NEEDED coffee! NOW! I'll make diet fare for supper.
Murphyism of the Day
Murphy's Law of Topology
The shortest distance between two points is a downward spiral.
Wednesday, January 25, 2006
Word of the Day
Lefterly - Moving in a lefterly direction when you're not sure whether you mean east or west.
Cold/Flu - Day 23
OK. I've spent a total of $75 in deductibles because I made a promise to Arizona daughter. I went to see the doctor. He was busy so I actually got to see the Nurse Practitioner. Whatever. I imagine before all this is over with, I will eventually get to meet the doctor. My temperature was 98°F. I weigh way too much but no-one said anything. I got prodded. I had to pee in a cup. I hate that. I got sent to get an X-ray. Front and side. I could have told them that I don't have pneumonia but then they wouldn't have been able to collect the $45 co-pay. I had to schedule an ultrasound but the soonest that they could get me in was February 6th. I suppose I'll have to co-pay another $45 for that. I have to go get my blood tested but I can't do that until I've fasted. That means, no food or water or anything after midnight tonight. I can go see the vampire village tomorrow. I have no idea how much my co-pay for that will be. Oh well....that's for tomorrow. I'm done for now. They want to check to make sure I don't have anything like gall stones, liver disease, kidney problems, whatever. I have a cold/flu but what would be the fun of looking for something related to that? I'm surprised they didn't check to see if I had any broken bones or malaria or something equally exotic. Maybe I should keep my mouth shut because I've got the feeling that that still may come to pass. Doctors don't want to let you alone until they find something....anything. In the meantime? Any bets as to whether or not I'll get sick from all the sickies in the waiting room. That'll be nice. Do I have to start the count at Day 1 again if I do? I think I'll wait until the pain in my side goes away first and hope that whatever those runny nosed, cough up a lung, sickies in the waiting room had wasn't too contagious. I hate going to see doctors. And I have to go out and let someone suck blood out of my arm tomorrow. I wonder how much they'll want. Two vials? Anyone else have any guesses?
Murphyism of the Day
Evans and Bjorn's Law
No matter what goes wrong, there is always somebody who knew it would.
Lefterly - Moving in a lefterly direction when you're not sure whether you mean east or west.
Cold/Flu - Day 23
OK. I've spent a total of $75 in deductibles because I made a promise to Arizona daughter. I went to see the doctor. He was busy so I actually got to see the Nurse Practitioner. Whatever. I imagine before all this is over with, I will eventually get to meet the doctor. My temperature was 98°F. I weigh way too much but no-one said anything. I got prodded. I had to pee in a cup. I hate that. I got sent to get an X-ray. Front and side. I could have told them that I don't have pneumonia but then they wouldn't have been able to collect the $45 co-pay. I had to schedule an ultrasound but the soonest that they could get me in was February 6th. I suppose I'll have to co-pay another $45 for that. I have to go get my blood tested but I can't do that until I've fasted. That means, no food or water or anything after midnight tonight. I can go see the vampire village tomorrow. I have no idea how much my co-pay for that will be. Oh well....that's for tomorrow. I'm done for now. They want to check to make sure I don't have anything like gall stones, liver disease, kidney problems, whatever. I have a cold/flu but what would be the fun of looking for something related to that? I'm surprised they didn't check to see if I had any broken bones or malaria or something equally exotic. Maybe I should keep my mouth shut because I've got the feeling that that still may come to pass. Doctors don't want to let you alone until they find something....anything. In the meantime? Any bets as to whether or not I'll get sick from all the sickies in the waiting room. That'll be nice. Do I have to start the count at Day 1 again if I do? I think I'll wait until the pain in my side goes away first and hope that whatever those runny nosed, cough up a lung, sickies in the waiting room had wasn't too contagious. I hate going to see doctors. And I have to go out and let someone suck blood out of my arm tomorrow. I wonder how much they'll want. Two vials? Anyone else have any guesses?
Murphyism of the Day
Evans and Bjorn's Law
No matter what goes wrong, there is always somebody who knew it would.
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
Word of the Day
Laundrotate - the act of putting in a load of laundry, the washed laundry to the dryer, and folding the clean, dry clothes.
Cold/Flu - Day 22
I'm doing laundry and the word of the day fits perfectly. I sorted the laundry. I'm putting loads in the washer and dryer and I'm folding. Not very interesting but all part of what I do. I cook. I clean. I do everything that I can to make a home no matter where we are. Homemakers never have the luxury of retirement. We work our entire lives. Do we get paid for it? Not if you go by official governmental tax laws.
I actually thought at one time that as soon as my children grew up and left the nest, I'd go out and get a paying job. I thought I'd be bored. I really don't have too much time to be bored. I've morphed. The definition of home-maker when my children were at home has changed now that they're off making their own homes. Now that HTP is retired, I've morphed. I still cook and clean. But I've morphed into a nutritionist. I've added cheer-leading to the mix. I'm experimenting with new things. I made/invented pomegranate liqueur. It turned out great! I may try dandelion liqueur this summer when we get back to Wisconsin. Or how about a liqueur using rose blossoms? The sugarfree jam I made over the summer turned out wonderful. I really wish that I'd find the time to take a stained glass class or a painting class. Maybe next fall. No. I'm not bored. I still have an afghan that I need to work on. Retirement? What would I do with myself? Probably the same exact thing that I'm doing right now.
We're still dealing with an internet connection that is not very trustworthy. HTP set up the laptop for me with a dial-up connection so I won't go totally nuts. Right now? My cable connection is working. I'm not sure how long that will last. Someone will be coming out tomorrow to see if they can blame the problem on us. I'm just hoping that they've finally managed to figure out that the problem is on their end and (knock on wood) have fixed it. Dial-up connections aren't all that great. However, they're a lot better than nothing.
Murphyism of the Day
Fahnstock's Rule of Failure
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
Laundrotate - the act of putting in a load of laundry, the washed laundry to the dryer, and folding the clean, dry clothes.
Cold/Flu - Day 22
I'm doing laundry and the word of the day fits perfectly. I sorted the laundry. I'm putting loads in the washer and dryer and I'm folding. Not very interesting but all part of what I do. I cook. I clean. I do everything that I can to make a home no matter where we are. Homemakers never have the luxury of retirement. We work our entire lives. Do we get paid for it? Not if you go by official governmental tax laws.
I actually thought at one time that as soon as my children grew up and left the nest, I'd go out and get a paying job. I thought I'd be bored. I really don't have too much time to be bored. I've morphed. The definition of home-maker when my children were at home has changed now that they're off making their own homes. Now that HTP is retired, I've morphed. I still cook and clean. But I've morphed into a nutritionist. I've added cheer-leading to the mix. I'm experimenting with new things. I made/invented pomegranate liqueur. It turned out great! I may try dandelion liqueur this summer when we get back to Wisconsin. Or how about a liqueur using rose blossoms? The sugarfree jam I made over the summer turned out wonderful. I really wish that I'd find the time to take a stained glass class or a painting class. Maybe next fall. No. I'm not bored. I still have an afghan that I need to work on. Retirement? What would I do with myself? Probably the same exact thing that I'm doing right now.
We're still dealing with an internet connection that is not very trustworthy. HTP set up the laptop for me with a dial-up connection so I won't go totally nuts. Right now? My cable connection is working. I'm not sure how long that will last. Someone will be coming out tomorrow to see if they can blame the problem on us. I'm just hoping that they've finally managed to figure out that the problem is on their end and (knock on wood) have fixed it. Dial-up connections aren't all that great. However, they're a lot better than nothing.
Murphyism of the Day
Fahnstock's Rule of Failure
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
Monday, January 23, 2006
Word of the Day
Lasterday - The day before today.
Cold/Flu - Day 21
I'm alive! Too bad we're still dealing with a sick internet. I figure that I'll be all better by the time we go to Vegas at the end of the month. I think I'm going to start taking Echinecea right now to build up a stronger immune system.
The internet is another kettle of fish. We're still having problems with it. The problems last from about 10:30 AM until 8 PM. Needless to say, this is rather irritating. They won't even send anyone out until Wednesday. You'd think they'd be a bit more customer friendly, especially to the ones who've got problems that have been "fixed" but not. DSL is looking better and better at this point.
Murphyism of the Day
Gualtieri's Law of Inertia
Where there's a will, there's a won't.
Lasterday - The day before today.
Cold/Flu - Day 21
I'm alive! Too bad we're still dealing with a sick internet. I figure that I'll be all better by the time we go to Vegas at the end of the month. I think I'm going to start taking Echinecea right now to build up a stronger immune system.
The internet is another kettle of fish. We're still having problems with it. The problems last from about 10:30 AM until 8 PM. Needless to say, this is rather irritating. They won't even send anyone out until Wednesday. You'd think they'd be a bit more customer friendly, especially to the ones who've got problems that have been "fixed" but not. DSL is looking better and better at this point.
Murphyism of the Day
Gualtieri's Law of Inertia
Where there's a will, there's a won't.
Sunday, January 22, 2006
Word of the Day
Lassoorations - Rope burns.
Cold/Flu - Day 20
I'm better. Not 100% so I'll still keep on counting the days but I think I'm better. I'm still coughing but it's not embarrassing.
In the meantime, I had to go out and buy a few things at the store. I was running out of coffee filters and there is no way that I can start the day without a cup of coffee. Well, I could but would you really want to hang around with me? Anyway, I had a few left but there's no point in waiting until the last desperate moment. So out to the store I went. Dang it! I couldn't find my filters at the first store. The closest store to our house is only 5 minutes away. They just had the off brand and those are usually kind of short and they tend to wimp out so you get coffee grounds in your coffee. So I went on down the road (10 minutes from our house) to a second grocery store. They didn't have my coffee filters either. ARGH!!!! Don't they make Mr. Coffee coffee filters anymore? I gave up and bought the off brand and I KNOW that I'll be sorry but I refuse to drive all over town looking for coffee filters. I'm shocked that I couldn't find the dang things at the first store much less that I couldn't find them at the second store. I guess I'll just have to make it a point to keep on looking. But not today.
Murphyism of the Day
Law of Probable Dispersal
Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.
Lassoorations - Rope burns.
Cold/Flu - Day 20
I'm better. Not 100% so I'll still keep on counting the days but I think I'm better. I'm still coughing but it's not embarrassing.
In the meantime, I had to go out and buy a few things at the store. I was running out of coffee filters and there is no way that I can start the day without a cup of coffee. Well, I could but would you really want to hang around with me? Anyway, I had a few left but there's no point in waiting until the last desperate moment. So out to the store I went. Dang it! I couldn't find my filters at the first store. The closest store to our house is only 5 minutes away. They just had the off brand and those are usually kind of short and they tend to wimp out so you get coffee grounds in your coffee. So I went on down the road (10 minutes from our house) to a second grocery store. They didn't have my coffee filters either. ARGH!!!! Don't they make Mr. Coffee coffee filters anymore? I gave up and bought the off brand and I KNOW that I'll be sorry but I refuse to drive all over town looking for coffee filters. I'm shocked that I couldn't find the dang things at the first store much less that I couldn't find them at the second store. I guess I'll just have to make it a point to keep on looking. But not today.
Murphyism of the Day
Law of Probable Dispersal
Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.
Saturday, January 21, 2006
Word of the Day
Larkalicious - Something that is incredibly fun.
Cold/Flu - Day 19
OK. If I'm not better by Monday or Tuesday, I'll think about seeing a doctor. Satisfied? I'm getting better. Really. Anyway, I didn't actually promise Arizona daughter that I'd go see a doctor. I told her I'd think about it. See? I'm keeping my promise. I'm thinking about it. Hopefully, I'll be all better real soon and I won't have to think about it anymore.
I went shopping at IKEA with Arizona daughter. She and her hubby are decorating their apartment on a budget. She made good progress at IKEA last night. IKEA is delivering a couch, an entertainment center, a computer desk and a CD tower to their apartment today. Everything is is pieces but have screwdriver, have furniture. Gotta love IKEA when it comes to decorating on a budget. I, in turn, bought some new pillows. HTP and I needed new pillows and you just couldn't beat the price.
After shopping at IKEA until I was ready to drop, Arizona daughter and I went to The Cheesecake Factory for supper. When we got to The Cheesecake Factory, we changed our plans. Stupid me! I'd forgotten that it was Friday. That's something that you tend to do when you're retired and all your kids have flown the nest. Fridays just don't have the same meaning as they used to have. Weekends just aren't the same. On the plus side, Mondays aren't nasty anymore either. I kind of like weekdays now. It makes shopping and going to Vegas lots more pleasant when everyone is either working or at school...except me. Anyway, we changed our minds about going to The Cheesecake Factory. We went to Wildflower Bread Company instead. We ate enormous salads and shared a sandwich and guzzled ice tea at half the cost of what we'd have paid at The Cheesecake Factory and there weren't tons and tons of people.
Murphyism of the Day
Tussman's Law
Nothing is as inevitable as a mistake whose time has come.
Larkalicious - Something that is incredibly fun.
Cold/Flu - Day 19
OK. If I'm not better by Monday or Tuesday, I'll think about seeing a doctor. Satisfied? I'm getting better. Really. Anyway, I didn't actually promise Arizona daughter that I'd go see a doctor. I told her I'd think about it. See? I'm keeping my promise. I'm thinking about it. Hopefully, I'll be all better real soon and I won't have to think about it anymore.
I went shopping at IKEA with Arizona daughter. She and her hubby are decorating their apartment on a budget. She made good progress at IKEA last night. IKEA is delivering a couch, an entertainment center, a computer desk and a CD tower to their apartment today. Everything is is pieces but have screwdriver, have furniture. Gotta love IKEA when it comes to decorating on a budget. I, in turn, bought some new pillows. HTP and I needed new pillows and you just couldn't beat the price.
After shopping at IKEA until I was ready to drop, Arizona daughter and I went to The Cheesecake Factory for supper. When we got to The Cheesecake Factory, we changed our plans. Stupid me! I'd forgotten that it was Friday. That's something that you tend to do when you're retired and all your kids have flown the nest. Fridays just don't have the same meaning as they used to have. Weekends just aren't the same. On the plus side, Mondays aren't nasty anymore either. I kind of like weekdays now. It makes shopping and going to Vegas lots more pleasant when everyone is either working or at school...except me. Anyway, we changed our minds about going to The Cheesecake Factory. We went to Wildflower Bread Company instead. We ate enormous salads and shared a sandwich and guzzled ice tea at half the cost of what we'd have paid at The Cheesecake Factory and there weren't tons and tons of people.
Murphyism of the Day
Tussman's Law
Nothing is as inevitable as a mistake whose time has come.
Friday, January 20, 2006
Word of the Day
Laprosy - Loss of use of legs while using a lap-top.
Cold/Flu - Day 18
Our internet is up and running again. Dare I hope that it'll stay that way? I don't know what the problem has been since Tuesday but (knock on wood) I think it's fixed. One can only hope.
One thing about not having the internet is that I've had a chance to do a lot of reading. The other day I got an email letting me know that I'll be judging again for the Golden Quill awards. I'm not sure what books I'll be judging but with any luck I'll have an opportunity to read some books that I haven't already bought and read. One of the nice things about this judging is that I don't have to pay for the books that I'm judging. Last year I'd already bought and read two of the books that I had to judge. Argh! This year I'm going to try and stay away from the bookstore so I don't make this mistake again.
The weather here has turned cold again. HTP and I had been doing so good about covering the trees. However, last night we erred. It froze and there wasn't any warning of it so we didn't cover the trees. Sigh. It's supposed to get colder tonight. HTP and I will cover the trees again tonight. I just hope that our efforts aren't like that poor man who locked the barn door after the horses had already escaped.
Murphyism of the Day
Murphy's Uncertainty Principle
You can know something has gone wrong only when you make an odd number of mistakes.
Laprosy - Loss of use of legs while using a lap-top.
Cold/Flu - Day 18
Our internet is up and running again. Dare I hope that it'll stay that way? I don't know what the problem has been since Tuesday but (knock on wood) I think it's fixed. One can only hope.
One thing about not having the internet is that I've had a chance to do a lot of reading. The other day I got an email letting me know that I'll be judging again for the Golden Quill awards. I'm not sure what books I'll be judging but with any luck I'll have an opportunity to read some books that I haven't already bought and read. One of the nice things about this judging is that I don't have to pay for the books that I'm judging. Last year I'd already bought and read two of the books that I had to judge. Argh! This year I'm going to try and stay away from the bookstore so I don't make this mistake again.
The weather here has turned cold again. HTP and I had been doing so good about covering the trees. However, last night we erred. It froze and there wasn't any warning of it so we didn't cover the trees. Sigh. It's supposed to get colder tonight. HTP and I will cover the trees again tonight. I just hope that our efforts aren't like that poor man who locked the barn door after the horses had already escaped.
Murphyism of the Day
Murphy's Uncertainty Principle
You can know something has gone wrong only when you make an odd number of mistakes.
Thursday, January 19, 2006
Word of the Day
Lamplify - To brighten.
Cold/Flu - Day 17
Our internet keeps cutting out. I get about a minute and then...poof...it's gone. I'm starting to go into withdrawal. It's enough to drive a person crazy.
I've been happily reading books today. I started on a new vampire series. I just finished reading Undead and Unwed (hilarious) and have started on Undead and Unemployed. Looks like it'll be as good as the first. Good thing that I've got books to read. The cable guys aren't coming to fix the internet until tomorrow. Let's just keep our fingers crossed that I can get this blogged before it cuts out again. "Do you want to purchase our internet insurance? If the problem is inside your house, we'll have to charge you to fix it." The problem IS NOT in our house. I am so happy that we don't have to deal with these guys more than six months of the year. They are such twits!
Murphyism of the Day
Maahs's Law
Things go right so they can go wrong.
Lamplify - To brighten.
Cold/Flu - Day 17
Our internet keeps cutting out. I get about a minute and then...poof...it's gone. I'm starting to go into withdrawal. It's enough to drive a person crazy.
I've been happily reading books today. I started on a new vampire series. I just finished reading Undead and Unwed (hilarious) and have started on Undead and Unemployed. Looks like it'll be as good as the first. Good thing that I've got books to read. The cable guys aren't coming to fix the internet until tomorrow. Let's just keep our fingers crossed that I can get this blogged before it cuts out again. "Do you want to purchase our internet insurance? If the problem is inside your house, we'll have to charge you to fix it." The problem IS NOT in our house. I am so happy that we don't have to deal with these guys more than six months of the year. They are such twits!
Murphyism of the Day
Maahs's Law
Things go right so they can go wrong.
Wednesday, January 18, 2006
Word of the Day
Lambicity - Cool, calm and collected; opposite of lionosity.
Cold/Flu - Day 16
My sister tells me that I still sound sick. She called me this morning to tell me that...among other things. Thanks, sis. Actually, I'm not all that sick, but I'm still coughing and I suspect that I have pleurisy so....
HTP has gone off to buy a few more groceries to perk up our diet. He also has to return the extra cable box that we'd set up in the guest room for #1 son while he was here for Christmas break.
I have to hurry and get this blogged. Our internet has been spotty today. It's only when you don't have internet that you learn how much time you spend in front of your computer hooked up to the internet. I was starting to pace and mutter to myself. HTP called our internet cable provider and was told that someone would come out and look into fixing things...Friday?!? Primal scream! Well...it's working for right now. I'll be careful and make sure that I save this to a word file before posting lest I lose these priceless, meaningless words.
Murphyism of the Day
Murphy's Law of Government
If anything can go wrong, it will do so in triplicate.
Lambicity - Cool, calm and collected; opposite of lionosity.
Cold/Flu - Day 16
My sister tells me that I still sound sick. She called me this morning to tell me that...among other things. Thanks, sis. Actually, I'm not all that sick, but I'm still coughing and I suspect that I have pleurisy so....
HTP has gone off to buy a few more groceries to perk up our diet. He also has to return the extra cable box that we'd set up in the guest room for #1 son while he was here for Christmas break.
I have to hurry and get this blogged. Our internet has been spotty today. It's only when you don't have internet that you learn how much time you spend in front of your computer hooked up to the internet. I was starting to pace and mutter to myself. HTP called our internet cable provider and was told that someone would come out and look into fixing things...Friday?!? Primal scream! Well...it's working for right now. I'll be careful and make sure that I save this to a word file before posting lest I lose these priceless, meaningless words.
Murphyism of the Day
Murphy's Law of Government
If anything can go wrong, it will do so in triplicate.
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
Word of the Day
Kongquest - The act or process of conquering by a large gorilla.
Cold/Flu - Day 15
Laundry Day. Enough said. HTP and I are going to have to cover the trees again tonight. It froze last night. 28°F. It's supposed to get just as cold tonight.
I'm getting older. I realize that everyone gets older. They say that we start dying on the day that we're born. Sometimes I forget about my age but then stuff happens to "gently" remind me of the fact that I just can't expect my body to keep up with the abilities that I took for granted at a younger age. Yesterday, HTP and I were covering the trees. When I was young, I used to be able to easily judge distances. I used to be physically capable of jumping down from a four-foot ledge, maintaining balance. No biggy. Now? Nope. Can't do it. Thankfully, I didn't break anything when I innocently jumped down from that four-foot ledge. I got whacked up long side the head and have a headache to remind me but nothing more damaged than my pride. No 911 calls needed. No blood. OWWWW!!!!! Just a headache. No concussion.
A friend wants us to hike the red rocks in Vegas this February. I was thinking, until yesterday, that it would be fun. Now? Maybe not. I don't think I want any more "gentle" reminders of my age.
Good News! HTP and I managed to cover the trees tonight with no life-threatening injuries. I didn't jump off a 4-foot ledge and I didn't hit my head on the patio post. I was careful. I'm still disgusted that I can't jump off a 4-foot ledge with any grace or safety anymore.
Murphyism of the Day
McDonald's Corollary to Murphy's Law
In any given set of circumstances, the proper course of action is determined by subsequent events.
Kongquest - The act or process of conquering by a large gorilla.
Cold/Flu - Day 15
Laundry Day. Enough said. HTP and I are going to have to cover the trees again tonight. It froze last night. 28°F. It's supposed to get just as cold tonight.
I'm getting older. I realize that everyone gets older. They say that we start dying on the day that we're born. Sometimes I forget about my age but then stuff happens to "gently" remind me of the fact that I just can't expect my body to keep up with the abilities that I took for granted at a younger age. Yesterday, HTP and I were covering the trees. When I was young, I used to be able to easily judge distances. I used to be physically capable of jumping down from a four-foot ledge, maintaining balance. No biggy. Now? Nope. Can't do it. Thankfully, I didn't break anything when I innocently jumped down from that four-foot ledge. I got whacked up long side the head and have a headache to remind me but nothing more damaged than my pride. No 911 calls needed. No blood. OWWWW!!!!! Just a headache. No concussion.
A friend wants us to hike the red rocks in Vegas this February. I was thinking, until yesterday, that it would be fun. Now? Maybe not. I don't think I want any more "gentle" reminders of my age.
Good News! HTP and I managed to cover the trees tonight with no life-threatening injuries. I didn't jump off a 4-foot ledge and I didn't hit my head on the patio post. I was careful. I'm still disgusted that I can't jump off a 4-foot ledge with any grace or safety anymore.
Murphyism of the Day
McDonald's Corollary to Murphy's Law
In any given set of circumstances, the proper course of action is determined by subsequent events.
Monday, January 16, 2006
Word of the Day
Knot guilty - Speedboat violation.
Cold/Flu - Day 14
I ventured outside today. The sun felt wonderful. I hope I didn't infect the neighbors. It turns out that the neighbors across the street are from Wisconsin too.
HTP and I are going to have to dance with sheets tonight. Get your mind out of the gutter. Rumor has it that it's going to freeze tonight. My trees already look bad (dead). I figure if we don't cover them tonight, I'll be replacing four trees this spring before heading off to Wisconsin.
Murphyism of the Day
Kohn's Corollary to Murphy's Law
Two wrongs are only the beginning.
Knot guilty - Speedboat violation.
Cold/Flu - Day 14
I ventured outside today. The sun felt wonderful. I hope I didn't infect the neighbors. It turns out that the neighbors across the street are from Wisconsin too.
HTP and I are going to have to dance with sheets tonight. Get your mind out of the gutter. Rumor has it that it's going to freeze tonight. My trees already look bad (dead). I figure if we don't cover them tonight, I'll be replacing four trees this spring before heading off to Wisconsin.
Murphyism of the Day
Kohn's Corollary to Murphy's Law
Two wrongs are only the beginning.
Sunday, January 15, 2006
Word of the Day
Knit-knots - Knots in your knitting.
Cold/Flu - Day 13
As promised, I'm not letting this cold/flu thing stop me anymore. I've still got the cough and now I think I've pulled a muscle...or broken a rib...but I think it's the former. A nurse friend of mine at church told me that it probably wasn't pleurisy. I should hope not.
Today was the Southwestern Service at church. I played with our group for two services. I love playing with the group. I popped cough drops to keep the hacking down to a minimum.
Shopping. HTP and I are cracking down on the over-consumption of calories. So, I had to go out grocery shopping. Fruit, vegetables. Sandwich meat. Cottage cheese. More vegetables. Frozen calorie restricted meals. Canned chili which I'll doctor up so I can lighten up the calories. Canned soup. We're having ribs tonight. Left-overs. But after that...it's time for the diet gestapo to get back to work.
Murphyism of the Day
Nagler's Comment on the Origin of Murphy's Law
Murphy's Law was not propounded by Murphy, but by another person of the same name.
Knit-knots - Knots in your knitting.
Cold/Flu - Day 13
As promised, I'm not letting this cold/flu thing stop me anymore. I've still got the cough and now I think I've pulled a muscle...or broken a rib...but I think it's the former. A nurse friend of mine at church told me that it probably wasn't pleurisy. I should hope not.
Today was the Southwestern Service at church. I played with our group for two services. I love playing with the group. I popped cough drops to keep the hacking down to a minimum.
Shopping. HTP and I are cracking down on the over-consumption of calories. So, I had to go out grocery shopping. Fruit, vegetables. Sandwich meat. Cottage cheese. More vegetables. Frozen calorie restricted meals. Canned chili which I'll doctor up so I can lighten up the calories. Canned soup. We're having ribs tonight. Left-overs. But after that...it's time for the diet gestapo to get back to work.
Murphyism of the Day
Nagler's Comment on the Origin of Murphy's Law
Murphy's Law was not propounded by Murphy, but by another person of the same name.
Saturday, January 14, 2006
Word of the Day
Knewborn - Very smart baby.
Cold/Flu - Day 12
As long as I'm coughing, I'm still going to claim to have a cold/flu. I don't care. That doesn't mean that I plan to put a hold on life. I think it's safe for me to start living again. Shopping again. Having fun again. Of course, to me, fun is curling up in the sun with a good book to read.
#1 son is packing up the last of his stuff. He leaves for the airport tonight after supper. His flight has been delayed. That's twice now. He was supposed to leave this afternoon but they rescheduled his flight for tonight. And now it's been delayed another hour beyond that...at least. It should make his arrival back at the dorm interestingly late. "That's OK, Mom. I didn't have any plans anyway."
I ordered sub-zero hibiscus plants on the internet. They're not supposed to be affected by frost, or freezing temps to -20°F. My hibiscus here were really hurt this winter by the unusually cold temperatures. I'm hoping that these will prove to be more resilient. I got a confirmation from the grower that they won't have any problems with the desert heat either....we'll see about that. I thought it was worth a try since six plants cost less than the one that I'd have to purchase from a local grower to replace the ones that died over the winter. I'll keep you posted.
Murphyism of the Day
Nonreciprocal Laws of Expectations
Negative expectations yield negative results.
Positive expectations yield negative results.
Knewborn - Very smart baby.
Cold/Flu - Day 12
As long as I'm coughing, I'm still going to claim to have a cold/flu. I don't care. That doesn't mean that I plan to put a hold on life. I think it's safe for me to start living again. Shopping again. Having fun again. Of course, to me, fun is curling up in the sun with a good book to read.
#1 son is packing up the last of his stuff. He leaves for the airport tonight after supper. His flight has been delayed. That's twice now. He was supposed to leave this afternoon but they rescheduled his flight for tonight. And now it's been delayed another hour beyond that...at least. It should make his arrival back at the dorm interestingly late. "That's OK, Mom. I didn't have any plans anyway."
I ordered sub-zero hibiscus plants on the internet. They're not supposed to be affected by frost, or freezing temps to -20°F. My hibiscus here were really hurt this winter by the unusually cold temperatures. I'm hoping that these will prove to be more resilient. I got a confirmation from the grower that they won't have any problems with the desert heat either....we'll see about that. I thought it was worth a try since six plants cost less than the one that I'd have to purchase from a local grower to replace the ones that died over the winter. I'll keep you posted.
Murphyism of the Day
Nonreciprocal Laws of Expectations
Negative expectations yield negative results.
Positive expectations yield negative results.
Friday, January 13, 2006
Word of the Day
Knee-mail - Praying.
Cold/Flu - Day 11
My cold/flu is at the point where my nose is so clear that it almost hurts to breath. It's almost like that feeling you get after you crunch up a strong peppermint candy and then take a deep breath. It's almost painful. And it feels so cold. I'm still coughing. Someone told me that they're still coughing from this cold/flu and it's been a month. I sure hope it doesn't take that long to lose the cough.
Arizona daughter and her hubby are heading off to Vegas today. She and her husband rarely have time off together these days. Both of them work many overtime hours. I know that they're looking forward to these next three days together. Good luck in Vegas!
#1 son is spending his last full day here in Arizona with his Arizona friends. He'll be flying off to the cold and college tomorrow night. We won't see him again until the spring when we return to Wisconsin.
DD daughter called yesterday. She promised me that from now on she'll call more often so that I can get out of the habit of assuming that there's something wrong everytime she calls. She's doing fine and I pray that I'm not jinxing it by mentioning it in my blog. See the following Murphyism for my reason on that fear. I think that the following Murphyism qualifies as one of those How to Speak Minnesotan Laws. Do you really think I'd have this cold/flu if I hadn't mentioned that I was feeling fine?
Murphyism of the Day
The Unspeakable Law
As soon as you mention something,
--if it's good, it goes away.
--if it's bad, it happens.
Knee-mail - Praying.
Cold/Flu - Day 11
My cold/flu is at the point where my nose is so clear that it almost hurts to breath. It's almost like that feeling you get after you crunch up a strong peppermint candy and then take a deep breath. It's almost painful. And it feels so cold. I'm still coughing. Someone told me that they're still coughing from this cold/flu and it's been a month. I sure hope it doesn't take that long to lose the cough.
Arizona daughter and her hubby are heading off to Vegas today. She and her husband rarely have time off together these days. Both of them work many overtime hours. I know that they're looking forward to these next three days together. Good luck in Vegas!
#1 son is spending his last full day here in Arizona with his Arizona friends. He'll be flying off to the cold and college tomorrow night. We won't see him again until the spring when we return to Wisconsin.
DD daughter called yesterday. She promised me that from now on she'll call more often so that I can get out of the habit of assuming that there's something wrong everytime she calls. She's doing fine and I pray that I'm not jinxing it by mentioning it in my blog. See the following Murphyism for my reason on that fear. I think that the following Murphyism qualifies as one of those How to Speak Minnesotan Laws. Do you really think I'd have this cold/flu if I hadn't mentioned that I was feeling fine?
Murphyism of the Day
The Unspeakable Law
As soon as you mention something,
--if it's good, it goes away.
--if it's bad, it happens.
Thursday, January 12, 2006
Word of the Day
Kistletoe - A sprig used for holiday decoration that compels kissing.
Cold/Flu - Day 10
What's the point of feeling well when you can't do anything without making yourself sick again? Oh well...Thank the good Lord that I am feeling well enough not to be sneezing and constantly coughing. I guess I'll just have to remember to take things slow for a while.
I stored away all the snowglobes this morning. That's when I found out that I probably should have waited a few more days or divided the job up into only one tub of globes per day. I just get impatient. Wow! It really wiped me out to just put away the snowglobes. OK. I have a ton of snowglobes so it was a huge project but I was feeling fine when I started the project. I'll wait on the rest of this Christmas stuff for a couple more days.
We're going to go out to dinner tonight. Our Arizona daughter has a day off and it'll be the last day off that she'll have while #1 son is here. So...off to dinner we'll go. I'm not sure where but I'm going to rest up so I can do our dinner justice.
#1 son packed up a huge box of stuff that HTP took over to UPS yesterday. There's only so much stuff that he can bring on the plane when he returns to college on Saturday. I'm just hoping that he's got enough room in his bags for what's left. Oh well, we can always pack up another box.
******
OK...I took a nap and then....
Christmas is all gone until Christmas 2006! I'll keep it close in my heart but my home is now decorated for Valentine's Day. I couldn't stand it anymore. There wasn't all that much more to put away. I started humming that Cinderella song. "We can do it, We can do it, We can help our Cinderelli...." Except I'm substituting, "I can do it, I can do it, I can put away this Christmas stuff..."
Murphyism of the Day
Sturgeon's Law
Ninety percent of everything is crud.
Kistletoe - A sprig used for holiday decoration that compels kissing.
Cold/Flu - Day 10
What's the point of feeling well when you can't do anything without making yourself sick again? Oh well...Thank the good Lord that I am feeling well enough not to be sneezing and constantly coughing. I guess I'll just have to remember to take things slow for a while.
I stored away all the snowglobes this morning. That's when I found out that I probably should have waited a few more days or divided the job up into only one tub of globes per day. I just get impatient. Wow! It really wiped me out to just put away the snowglobes. OK. I have a ton of snowglobes so it was a huge project but I was feeling fine when I started the project. I'll wait on the rest of this Christmas stuff for a couple more days.
We're going to go out to dinner tonight. Our Arizona daughter has a day off and it'll be the last day off that she'll have while #1 son is here. So...off to dinner we'll go. I'm not sure where but I'm going to rest up so I can do our dinner justice.
#1 son packed up a huge box of stuff that HTP took over to UPS yesterday. There's only so much stuff that he can bring on the plane when he returns to college on Saturday. I'm just hoping that he's got enough room in his bags for what's left. Oh well, we can always pack up another box.
******
OK...I took a nap and then....
Christmas is all gone until Christmas 2006! I'll keep it close in my heart but my home is now decorated for Valentine's Day. I couldn't stand it anymore. There wasn't all that much more to put away. I started humming that Cinderella song. "We can do it, We can do it, We can help our Cinderelli...." Except I'm substituting, "I can do it, I can do it, I can put away this Christmas stuff..."
Murphyism of the Day
Sturgeon's Law
Ninety percent of everything is crud.
Wednesday, January 11, 2006
Word of the Day
Kid-marks - Marks left by kids on walls and other places.
Cold/Flu - Day 9
No NyQuil, no DayQuil. I'm still having colorful dreams but nothing epic. I can breath. I'm still hacking away. Tired. Pretty boring, huh?
Despite all, I did get the laundry done yesterday but storing away Christmas has been postponed. Maybe tomorrow, or the next day, or the next? It'll get done...eventually.
Murphyism of the Day
Kaiser's Comment on Zymurgy
Never open a can of worms unless you plan to go fishing.
Kid-marks - Marks left by kids on walls and other places.
Cold/Flu - Day 9
No NyQuil, no DayQuil. I'm still having colorful dreams but nothing epic. I can breath. I'm still hacking away. Tired. Pretty boring, huh?
Despite all, I did get the laundry done yesterday but storing away Christmas has been postponed. Maybe tomorrow, or the next day, or the next? It'll get done...eventually.
Murphyism of the Day
Kaiser's Comment on Zymurgy
Never open a can of worms unless you plan to go fishing.
Tuesday, January 10, 2006
Word of the Day
Kickabite - The cyberspace bytes in a long, cerebral email with weighty content.
Cold/Flu - Day 8
NyQuil Dreams. I decided to take NyQuil last night because my experience has been that all too often people, when they start getting better, tend to stop taking a decongestant and then they end up with a whopping ear infection. So...because my ear was already twinging, I took NyQuil before heading to bed. And then I found myself in the middle of a full length, B horror movie in living color. Yes, I dream in color.
This was a really weird dream. I didn't know a soul in this B movie. No family members. No cars that I recognized. I'm in a old beat up red four door car. Dusty. There's four of us in the car. As we're driving down the road, I notice this really neat van that has been converted into a monster truck. It looks like a real live bull...all metallic dark blue with a full set of horns. Wow! It was like a piece of art. We continue on down the road and there's another conversion van, same theme but it looked like it wasn't quite done yet. A work in progress. The bull was there but it hadn't been painted as yet. Cool. We drove on down the road and there's another conversion van. A bull, but it's all chipped and all of a sudden it's chasing after us. It's trying to run us off the road, ramming us. We drive off the road into this flat area that looks like it's been set up with wooden stands etc...kind of like a fair grounds extra parking area. The grass is all dried and I'm kicking up dust as we all bail out of the car. The bull conversion hits the car and really bangs it up, rolling it. We're running. The bull conversion then heads off toward the stands and hits the stands. People are falling all over, screaming, blood. I grab this kid and I'm running to get out of the way. We're running. And then we're at this huge building which looks like a business where they sell converted, souped up cars. Muscle cars. It's owned by a huge family of Mexican-Americans. I told you, I don't know any of these people. Anyway, I warn them about this bull conversion van gone nuts. A real whacko. So we all buckle down and start figuring out how to protect ourselves and get ready to take this guy down. And sure enough, here comes the Bull conversion. Smashing, and ramming. I'm trying to keep these people safe but they keep popping up and making targets of themselves. And all of a sudden thousands of people are taking shelter in this building and they're really stupid. That first bull conversion van shows up to join in the destruction. I see banners and it's like it's some sort of sporting show. People are screaming but they're cheering too. Kind of like a bull fight. An elderly woman comes out for inside the building, telling anyone who would listen that she can't get the gas to turn off. She was heating up a pot of tea. I hustle her back into the interior of the building and safety and check out the gas. It's one of those electric hot plates. I tell her to unplug the dang thing. And then I reach down and unplugged it. Argh! The dream continues. All of a sudden some whacko is chasing me through the building. He's huge and he's a bad guy. I'm running. As I run, I'm searching for something, anything, to protect myself. Nothing. And then...I find this small nail file. I start stabbing at him with it. I'm not winning but all of a sudden two guys run into the room and spear the bad guy. I jump up and we're all running and then...And then....
My phone rang. Really. My phone rang and woke me up. It kinda made me mad because the caller-ID said that it was some research outfit. I grabbed the phone but whoever had hung up. Darn it. I wanted to finish seeing my B movie dream. I mean, it was really weird.
I'm feeling better and maybe I'll avoid the NyQuil tonight.
Murphyism of the Day
Zymurgy's Law of Evolving Systems Dynamics
Once you open a can of worms, the only way to recan them is to use a larger can.
Kickabite - The cyberspace bytes in a long, cerebral email with weighty content.
Cold/Flu - Day 8
NyQuil Dreams. I decided to take NyQuil last night because my experience has been that all too often people, when they start getting better, tend to stop taking a decongestant and then they end up with a whopping ear infection. So...because my ear was already twinging, I took NyQuil before heading to bed. And then I found myself in the middle of a full length, B horror movie in living color. Yes, I dream in color.
This was a really weird dream. I didn't know a soul in this B movie. No family members. No cars that I recognized. I'm in a old beat up red four door car. Dusty. There's four of us in the car. As we're driving down the road, I notice this really neat van that has been converted into a monster truck. It looks like a real live bull...all metallic dark blue with a full set of horns. Wow! It was like a piece of art. We continue on down the road and there's another conversion van, same theme but it looked like it wasn't quite done yet. A work in progress. The bull was there but it hadn't been painted as yet. Cool. We drove on down the road and there's another conversion van. A bull, but it's all chipped and all of a sudden it's chasing after us. It's trying to run us off the road, ramming us. We drive off the road into this flat area that looks like it's been set up with wooden stands etc...kind of like a fair grounds extra parking area. The grass is all dried and I'm kicking up dust as we all bail out of the car. The bull conversion hits the car and really bangs it up, rolling it. We're running. The bull conversion then heads off toward the stands and hits the stands. People are falling all over, screaming, blood. I grab this kid and I'm running to get out of the way. We're running. And then we're at this huge building which looks like a business where they sell converted, souped up cars. Muscle cars. It's owned by a huge family of Mexican-Americans. I told you, I don't know any of these people. Anyway, I warn them about this bull conversion van gone nuts. A real whacko. So we all buckle down and start figuring out how to protect ourselves and get ready to take this guy down. And sure enough, here comes the Bull conversion. Smashing, and ramming. I'm trying to keep these people safe but they keep popping up and making targets of themselves. And all of a sudden thousands of people are taking shelter in this building and they're really stupid. That first bull conversion van shows up to join in the destruction. I see banners and it's like it's some sort of sporting show. People are screaming but they're cheering too. Kind of like a bull fight. An elderly woman comes out for inside the building, telling anyone who would listen that she can't get the gas to turn off. She was heating up a pot of tea. I hustle her back into the interior of the building and safety and check out the gas. It's one of those electric hot plates. I tell her to unplug the dang thing. And then I reach down and unplugged it. Argh! The dream continues. All of a sudden some whacko is chasing me through the building. He's huge and he's a bad guy. I'm running. As I run, I'm searching for something, anything, to protect myself. Nothing. And then...I find this small nail file. I start stabbing at him with it. I'm not winning but all of a sudden two guys run into the room and spear the bad guy. I jump up and we're all running and then...And then....
My phone rang. Really. My phone rang and woke me up. It kinda made me mad because the caller-ID said that it was some research outfit. I grabbed the phone but whoever had hung up. Darn it. I wanted to finish seeing my B movie dream. I mean, it was really weird.
I'm feeling better and maybe I'll avoid the NyQuil tonight.
Murphyism of the Day
Zymurgy's Law of Evolving Systems Dynamics
Once you open a can of worms, the only way to recan them is to use a larger can.
Monday, January 09, 2006
Word of the Day
Jugglernaut - One extremely facile at juggling.
Cold/Flu - Day 7
I can breath! Hack, hack, hack! OK...well...at least I can breath and smell again. And I can start doing something about my poor raw nose. Maybe I won't have to buy more tissues afterall.
Since I was feeling so good, I got off my butt and started the process of putting Christmas away. The tree is now gone. I put away the poinsettias too. And the Christmas frogs...most of them. I'm going to leave a couple of them out. Just because. My dining room table has a Valentine's Day theme now too. Progress! I'll tackle the snowglobes tomorrow. If I haven't relapsed into an Days 1-6 state.
The seed catalogs are here! Woohoo! I'm going to start planning my vegetable garden for this summer.
Murphyism of the Day
Stockmayer's Theorem
If it looks easy, it's tough.
If it looks tough, it's damn well impossible.
Jugglernaut - One extremely facile at juggling.
Cold/Flu - Day 7
I can breath! Hack, hack, hack! OK...well...at least I can breath and smell again. And I can start doing something about my poor raw nose. Maybe I won't have to buy more tissues afterall.
Since I was feeling so good, I got off my butt and started the process of putting Christmas away. The tree is now gone. I put away the poinsettias too. And the Christmas frogs...most of them. I'm going to leave a couple of them out. Just because. My dining room table has a Valentine's Day theme now too. Progress! I'll tackle the snowglobes tomorrow. If I haven't relapsed into an Days 1-6 state.
The seed catalogs are here! Woohoo! I'm going to start planning my vegetable garden for this summer.
Murphyism of the Day
Stockmayer's Theorem
If it looks easy, it's tough.
If it looks tough, it's damn well impossible.
Sunday, January 08, 2006
Word of the Day
Jocular vein - A humor-sensitive part of the body (near the funny-bone).
Cold/Flu - Day 6
Sneezy. Just call my Sneezy. Do you all remember that old joke where someone asks, "Is your refrigerator running?" and when you answer, "Yes." The quick reply was, "Well, you'd better hurry up and catch it before it gets away." Ha-ha. OK. Now think of my poor nose running down the street with my chasing after it. I know. I'm starting to sound delirious. Actually, I'm feeling a tad better today. It dawned on me that since I was spending so much time in bed, there really wasn't any good reason NOT to take NyQuil gel caps during the day since the goal was to sleep. Today, I stole my DayQuil back from #1 son since he doesn't seem to need it anymore. I'm tired of sleeping and the NyQuil makes me walk around in a fog and look like I'm suffering from old-timer's disease. The only bad thing is that I have to take the DayQuil every four hours and it seems to wear off at around 3 hours. So, between the third and fourth hours, my nose is flowing like Niagara Falls and in between the times I'm blowing my nose and rubbing off all the skin in the surrounding areas, I'm sneezing. One interesting fact about sneezing. You can't keep your eyes open and sneeze at the same time. Oh...and did you know that you can't lick your elbow?
Murphyism of the Day
Pudder's Law
Anything that begins well ends badly.
Anything that begins badly ends worse.
Jocular vein - A humor-sensitive part of the body (near the funny-bone).
Cold/Flu - Day 6
Sneezy. Just call my Sneezy. Do you all remember that old joke where someone asks, "Is your refrigerator running?" and when you answer, "Yes." The quick reply was, "Well, you'd better hurry up and catch it before it gets away." Ha-ha. OK. Now think of my poor nose running down the street with my chasing after it. I know. I'm starting to sound delirious. Actually, I'm feeling a tad better today. It dawned on me that since I was spending so much time in bed, there really wasn't any good reason NOT to take NyQuil gel caps during the day since the goal was to sleep. Today, I stole my DayQuil back from #1 son since he doesn't seem to need it anymore. I'm tired of sleeping and the NyQuil makes me walk around in a fog and look like I'm suffering from old-timer's disease. The only bad thing is that I have to take the DayQuil every four hours and it seems to wear off at around 3 hours. So, between the third and fourth hours, my nose is flowing like Niagara Falls and in between the times I'm blowing my nose and rubbing off all the skin in the surrounding areas, I'm sneezing. One interesting fact about sneezing. You can't keep your eyes open and sneeze at the same time. Oh...and did you know that you can't lick your elbow?
Murphyism of the Day
Pudder's Law
Anything that begins well ends badly.
Anything that begins badly ends worse.
Saturday, January 07, 2006
Word of the Day
Jobsolete - No employment, no job.
Cold/Flu - Day 5
Now my nose is running. Added to the coughing fits, it's more than apparent that I won't be able to play my clarinet at the church tomorrow. Miracles happen every day but I'd just as soon God didn't waste time on my cold/flu just so I can play at the church. The world won't end if I'm not there even if I hate the fact that I can't be there. I'd go but I really don't want to pass this cold/flu to anyone else. So, it'll be another stay at home day for me. At least I got some sleep last night. Thank you Nyquil liquid gelcaps. I don't like to take stuff but at this point I'm ready to do anything to stop the coughing and get some sleep. HTP says he's feeling better so that's a plus. He can make his own breakfast if he's hungry. I know....that sounds cranky. I need coffee! Tea just doesn't put a dent in my caffeine addiction withdrawal. As a matter of fact, I'm going to go get a cup of coffee right now. I need my coffee and I'm sick of tea. I'm sick enough as it is without adding that to the equation. I'll drink more tea later.
DD daughter called this morning. She's been on 12 hours on 12 hours off guard duty all week. Today was supposed to be the last day. She called because she was bored. Apparently, no-one had come to relieve her and she was now going on 14 hours on and counting. Ah well... She told me that GI Joe is out on a convoy somewhere in Iraq so she hadn't heard from him. No...I can't tell you where in Iraq even if I knew...which I don't.
Murphyism of the Day
Commoner's Law of Ecology
Nothing ever goes away.
Jobsolete - No employment, no job.
Cold/Flu - Day 5
Now my nose is running. Added to the coughing fits, it's more than apparent that I won't be able to play my clarinet at the church tomorrow. Miracles happen every day but I'd just as soon God didn't waste time on my cold/flu just so I can play at the church. The world won't end if I'm not there even if I hate the fact that I can't be there. I'd go but I really don't want to pass this cold/flu to anyone else. So, it'll be another stay at home day for me. At least I got some sleep last night. Thank you Nyquil liquid gelcaps. I don't like to take stuff but at this point I'm ready to do anything to stop the coughing and get some sleep. HTP says he's feeling better so that's a plus. He can make his own breakfast if he's hungry. I know....that sounds cranky. I need coffee! Tea just doesn't put a dent in my caffeine addiction withdrawal. As a matter of fact, I'm going to go get a cup of coffee right now. I need my coffee and I'm sick of tea. I'm sick enough as it is without adding that to the equation. I'll drink more tea later.
DD daughter called this morning. She's been on 12 hours on 12 hours off guard duty all week. Today was supposed to be the last day. She called because she was bored. Apparently, no-one had come to relieve her and she was now going on 14 hours on and counting. Ah well... She told me that GI Joe is out on a convoy somewhere in Iraq so she hadn't heard from him. No...I can't tell you where in Iraq even if I knew...which I don't.
Murphyism of the Day
Commoner's Law of Ecology
Nothing ever goes away.
Friday, January 06, 2006
Word of the Day
Joblett - A less than part-time job, say 10 hours a week.
Cold/Flu - Day 4
All the king's men and all the king's horses....
Substitute all my attempts at over-the-counter meds for men and horses and you should know that I've still got a cold/flu and I'm still coughing and coughing and coughing and...you get the idea. Will I be better tomorrow? Stay tuned.
In the meantime, let's see if we can find some humor to provide what some claim is the best medicine.
Senior Laughter
I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor's permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But, by the time I got my leotards on, the class was over.
--------------------------------------------
Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman: "And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?" the reporter asked.
She simply replied, "No peer pressure."
------------------------------------------
The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter eggs. (Love this one!!)
------------------------------------------
Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, "How old was your husband?"
"98," she replied. "Two years older than me."
"So you're 96," the undertaker commented.
She responded, "Hardly worth going home, is it?"
----------------------------------------------
I've sure gotten old. I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement,new knees. Fought prostate cancer and diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. Have bouts with dementia. Have poor circulation, hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92. Have lost all my friends. But, thank God, I still have my driver's license!
----------------------------------------------
An elderly woman from Brooklyn decided to prepare her will and make her final requests. She told her rabbi she had two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered over Bloomingdales.
"Bloomingdales?" the rabbi exclaimed. "Why Bloomingdales?"
"Then I'll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week."
Murphyism of the Day
Nichol's Fourth Law
Avoid any action with an unacceptable outcome.
Joblett - A less than part-time job, say 10 hours a week.
Cold/Flu - Day 4
All the king's men and all the king's horses....
Substitute all my attempts at over-the-counter meds for men and horses and you should know that I've still got a cold/flu and I'm still coughing and coughing and coughing and...you get the idea. Will I be better tomorrow? Stay tuned.
In the meantime, let's see if we can find some humor to provide what some claim is the best medicine.
Senior Laughter
I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor's permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But, by the time I got my leotards on, the class was over.
--------------------------------------------
Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman: "And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?" the reporter asked.
She simply replied, "No peer pressure."
------------------------------------------
The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter eggs. (Love this one!!)
------------------------------------------
Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, "How old was your husband?"
"98," she replied. "Two years older than me."
"So you're 96," the undertaker commented.
She responded, "Hardly worth going home, is it?"
----------------------------------------------
I've sure gotten old. I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement,new knees. Fought prostate cancer and diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. Have bouts with dementia. Have poor circulation, hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92. Have lost all my friends. But, thank God, I still have my driver's license!
----------------------------------------------
An elderly woman from Brooklyn decided to prepare her will and make her final requests. She told her rabbi she had two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered over Bloomingdales.
"Bloomingdales?" the rabbi exclaimed. "Why Bloomingdales?"
"Then I'll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week."
Murphyism of the Day
Nichol's Fourth Law
Avoid any action with an unacceptable outcome.
Thursday, January 05, 2006
Word of the Day
Jeescake - Really bad cheesecake.
Cold/Flu - Day 3
This morning it was all I could do to crawl out of bed after spending most of the night coughing up little bits of my lungs. I'm OK though. It's just that I wanted to pull the covers over my head and tell my Mom..."Just one more hour, let me sleep just one more hour." Except I'm the Mom and the dogs wanted to go out and HTP is sick too. I skipped breakfast and went straight for a cup of hot tea with lemon and honey.
Of course having a cold/flu should never stand in the way of shopping. #1 son wanted to go out shopping. He needed jeans, t-shirts, etc. I needed cold medication. So...off we went to Target. I got my cold medication, a Sun's t-shirt because #1 son really needed a Sun's t-shirt and then I talked #1 son out of getting a suit coat at Target. I mean, it was really ugly. I told him that if he wanted a really ugly suit coat, we could go to the Goodwill store to get one. It would be a lot cheaper. And it was. We stopped at the Goodwill store on the way to a Mervyn's and bought three suit coats (one was only $1 and the other two were $7 each) and we got some shirts too. All our purchases put together at the Goodwill store were less than the cost of the one ugly Target suit coat. We proceeded on to Mervyn's where we purchased a couple of pairs of jeans and an Italia t-shirt. On our way home, we decided that it would be nice to pick up something to eat to bring home for supper. #1 son called HTP to ask him what he'd like but HTP told us that he wasn't hungry so we were to go and eat without him. Brick Oven Pizza. Very good. And then...home.
I'm going to go take me cold medication now and toddle off to bed for a few hours. I'll have to get up to let the dogs out but I think I've had enough fun for one day. I'm not being sarcastic. It just sounds like that. I did have fun. I'd have had more fun without the cold/flu though.
Murphyism of the Day
Murphy's Law of Thermodynamics
Things get worse under pressure.
Jeescake - Really bad cheesecake.
Cold/Flu - Day 3
This morning it was all I could do to crawl out of bed after spending most of the night coughing up little bits of my lungs. I'm OK though. It's just that I wanted to pull the covers over my head and tell my Mom..."Just one more hour, let me sleep just one more hour." Except I'm the Mom and the dogs wanted to go out and HTP is sick too. I skipped breakfast and went straight for a cup of hot tea with lemon and honey.
Of course having a cold/flu should never stand in the way of shopping. #1 son wanted to go out shopping. He needed jeans, t-shirts, etc. I needed cold medication. So...off we went to Target. I got my cold medication, a Sun's t-shirt because #1 son really needed a Sun's t-shirt and then I talked #1 son out of getting a suit coat at Target. I mean, it was really ugly. I told him that if he wanted a really ugly suit coat, we could go to the Goodwill store to get one. It would be a lot cheaper. And it was. We stopped at the Goodwill store on the way to a Mervyn's and bought three suit coats (one was only $1 and the other two were $7 each) and we got some shirts too. All our purchases put together at the Goodwill store were less than the cost of the one ugly Target suit coat. We proceeded on to Mervyn's where we purchased a couple of pairs of jeans and an Italia t-shirt. On our way home, we decided that it would be nice to pick up something to eat to bring home for supper. #1 son called HTP to ask him what he'd like but HTP told us that he wasn't hungry so we were to go and eat without him. Brick Oven Pizza. Very good. And then...home.
I'm going to go take me cold medication now and toddle off to bed for a few hours. I'll have to get up to let the dogs out but I think I've had enough fun for one day. I'm not being sarcastic. It just sounds like that. I did have fun. I'd have had more fun without the cold/flu though.
Murphyism of the Day
Murphy's Law of Thermodynamics
Things get worse under pressure.
Wednesday, January 04, 2006
Word of the Day
Irrigression - That feeling that wells up inside when someone says something blatantly wrong, or a stray pop-up means that paragraph you typed for an essay is actually nowhere to be seen.
Cold/Flu - Day 2
OK. This cold/flu isn't getting much better so I'm not feeling up to blogging too much. Thus? Blogging during these times is a really boring thing for the reader. Sorry. Let's see if I can liven things up.
Lena called the airlines information desk and inquired, "How long does it take to fly from Minneapolis to Fargo?"
"Just a minute," said the busy clerk.
"Vell, said Lena, "if it has to go dat fast, I tink I'll just take da bus."
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The judge had just awarded a divorce to Lena, who had charged non-support.
He said to Ole, "I have decided to give your wife $400 a month for support."
"Vell, dat's fine, Judge," said Ole. "And vunce in a while I'll try to chip in a few bucks, myself."
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lars asked Ole, "Do ya know da difference between a Dane and a canoe?"
"No, I don't," said Ole.
"A canoe will sometimes tip," explained Lars.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ole is so cheap that after his airplane landed safely he grumbled, "Vell, dere gose five dollars down da drain for dat flight insurance!"
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lars: "Ole, stant in front of my car and tell me if da turn signals are working."
Ole: "Yes, No, Yes, No, Yes, No, Yes, No...."
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ole and Lena got married. On their honeymoon trip they were nearing Minneapolis when Ole put his hand on Lena's knee. Giggling, Lena said,"Ole, you can go a little farther now if ya vant to." So Ole drove to Duluth.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ole died. So Lena went to the local paper to put a notice in the obituaries. The gentleman at the counter, after offering his condolences, asked Lena what she would like to say about Ole.
Lena replied, "You yust put 'Ole died.'"
The gentleman, somewhat perplexed, said, "That's it? Just 'Ole died?' Surely, there must be something more you'd like to say about Ole. If it's money you're concerned about, the first five words are free. We must say something more."
So Lena pondered for a few minutes and finally said, "O.K. You put 'Ole died. Boat for sale.'"
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Hey, Sven," said Ole, "how many Swedes does it take to grease a combine?"
After Sven replied, "I don't know," Ole said,
"Only two, if you run them through real slow."
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ole and Lars were on their very first train ride. They had brought along bananas for lunch. Just as they began to peel them, the train entered a long, dark tunnel. "Have you eaten your banana yet," Ole asked excitedly?
"No," replied Lars.
"Vell, don't touch it den," Ole exclaimed. "I yust took vun bite and vent blind!"
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ole bought Lena a piano for her birthday. A few weeks later, Lars inquired how she was doing with it.
"Oh," said Ole, "I persuaded her to svitch to a clarinet."
"How come," asked Lars?
"Vell," Ole answered, "because vith a clarinet she can't sing."
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ole and Lena went to the Olympics. While sitting on a bench a lady turned to Ole and said, "Are you a pole vaulter?"
Ole said, "No, I'm Danish and my name isn't Valter."
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ole was arrested one night while walking bare naked down the streets of the little town of Minnetonka, Minnesota.
The policeman, who was a good friend of Ole's said, "Where's your clothes? You're naked."
"Yah, I know," said Ole. "You see, I vas over to dat 'playboy' Sven's for his birthday party. Dere vas about 28 of us. Der vas boys and girls."
"Is that right?", his policeman friend asked.
"Yah, Yah, anyvay, dat Sven, he says, 'Everybody get into the bedroom!' So vee all go into the bedroom.... where den he yells, 'Everybody git naked!'
"Vel, vee all got undressed. Den he yells, 'Everybody go to town!'"
"Oh, my!", exclaimed the policeman.
"Yah, Yah. I guess I'm the first one here".
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ole was stopped by a game warden in Northern Wisconsin recently leaving a lake well known for its Walleye. He had two buckets of fish. As it was durring the spawning season, the game warden asked, " Do you have a license to catch those fish?"
Ole replied, "No, sir! Dese here are my pet fish."
"Pet fish?" the warden replied.
"Ya sure, you betcha." answered Ole. "Every night I take dese fish here down to da lake and let dem svim around for a while. Den I vhistle and dey yiump back into deir buckets and I take dem home."
"That's a bunch of hooey. Fish can't do that." said the game warden.
Ole looked at the game warden with an expression of great hurt, and then said, "Yumpin Yimminy! Vell den, I'll just show you den. It really does vork, don'tcha know?"
The game warden was really curious now. "O.K. I've got to see this!"
So Ole poured the fish into the lake and stood waiting. After several minutes, the game warden turned to Ole and said, "Well?"
"Vell what?" responded Ole."When are you going to call them back?"
"Call who back?" asked Ole.
"The fish!"
"What fish?"
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To those in North Dakota, Minnesota, and for that matter the rest of the country, including Canada, I must report the sad news that Ole was shot. He was up by the Canadian border on his 4-wheeler cutting some trees when some rangers looking for terrorists spotted him.
According to the news reports, the rangers shouted to him over a loudspeaker, "Who are you and what are you doing?
"Ole shouted back, "OLE..... BIN LOGGIN'!"
Ole is survived by his wife Lena and Lena's good friend Lars.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
And dot's enough a dat.
Murphyism of the Day
Rudin's Law
In crises that force people to choose alternative courses of action, most people will choose the worst one possible.
Irrigression - That feeling that wells up inside when someone says something blatantly wrong, or a stray pop-up means that paragraph you typed for an essay is actually nowhere to be seen.
Cold/Flu - Day 2
OK. This cold/flu isn't getting much better so I'm not feeling up to blogging too much. Thus? Blogging during these times is a really boring thing for the reader. Sorry. Let's see if I can liven things up.
Lena called the airlines information desk and inquired, "How long does it take to fly from Minneapolis to Fargo?"
"Just a minute," said the busy clerk.
"Vell, said Lena, "if it has to go dat fast, I tink I'll just take da bus."
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The judge had just awarded a divorce to Lena, who had charged non-support.
He said to Ole, "I have decided to give your wife $400 a month for support."
"Vell, dat's fine, Judge," said Ole. "And vunce in a while I'll try to chip in a few bucks, myself."
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lars asked Ole, "Do ya know da difference between a Dane and a canoe?"
"No, I don't," said Ole.
"A canoe will sometimes tip," explained Lars.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ole is so cheap that after his airplane landed safely he grumbled, "Vell, dere gose five dollars down da drain for dat flight insurance!"
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lars: "Ole, stant in front of my car and tell me if da turn signals are working."
Ole: "Yes, No, Yes, No, Yes, No, Yes, No...."
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ole and Lena got married. On their honeymoon trip they were nearing Minneapolis when Ole put his hand on Lena's knee. Giggling, Lena said,"Ole, you can go a little farther now if ya vant to." So Ole drove to Duluth.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ole died. So Lena went to the local paper to put a notice in the obituaries. The gentleman at the counter, after offering his condolences, asked Lena what she would like to say about Ole.
Lena replied, "You yust put 'Ole died.'"
The gentleman, somewhat perplexed, said, "That's it? Just 'Ole died?' Surely, there must be something more you'd like to say about Ole. If it's money you're concerned about, the first five words are free. We must say something more."
So Lena pondered for a few minutes and finally said, "O.K. You put 'Ole died. Boat for sale.'"
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Hey, Sven," said Ole, "how many Swedes does it take to grease a combine?"
After Sven replied, "I don't know," Ole said,
"Only two, if you run them through real slow."
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ole and Lars were on their very first train ride. They had brought along bananas for lunch. Just as they began to peel them, the train entered a long, dark tunnel. "Have you eaten your banana yet," Ole asked excitedly?
"No," replied Lars.
"Vell, don't touch it den," Ole exclaimed. "I yust took vun bite and vent blind!"
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ole bought Lena a piano for her birthday. A few weeks later, Lars inquired how she was doing with it.
"Oh," said Ole, "I persuaded her to svitch to a clarinet."
"How come," asked Lars?
"Vell," Ole answered, "because vith a clarinet she can't sing."
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ole and Lena went to the Olympics. While sitting on a bench a lady turned to Ole and said, "Are you a pole vaulter?"
Ole said, "No, I'm Danish and my name isn't Valter."
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ole was arrested one night while walking bare naked down the streets of the little town of Minnetonka, Minnesota.
The policeman, who was a good friend of Ole's said, "Where's your clothes? You're naked."
"Yah, I know," said Ole. "You see, I vas over to dat 'playboy' Sven's for his birthday party. Dere vas about 28 of us. Der vas boys and girls."
"Is that right?", his policeman friend asked.
"Yah, Yah, anyvay, dat Sven, he says, 'Everybody get into the bedroom!' So vee all go into the bedroom.... where den he yells, 'Everybody git naked!'
"Vel, vee all got undressed. Den he yells, 'Everybody go to town!'"
"Oh, my!", exclaimed the policeman.
"Yah, Yah. I guess I'm the first one here".
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ole was stopped by a game warden in Northern Wisconsin recently leaving a lake well known for its Walleye. He had two buckets of fish. As it was durring the spawning season, the game warden asked, " Do you have a license to catch those fish?"
Ole replied, "No, sir! Dese here are my pet fish."
"Pet fish?" the warden replied.
"Ya sure, you betcha." answered Ole. "Every night I take dese fish here down to da lake and let dem svim around for a while. Den I vhistle and dey yiump back into deir buckets and I take dem home."
"That's a bunch of hooey. Fish can't do that." said the game warden.
Ole looked at the game warden with an expression of great hurt, and then said, "Yumpin Yimminy! Vell den, I'll just show you den. It really does vork, don'tcha know?"
The game warden was really curious now. "O.K. I've got to see this!"
So Ole poured the fish into the lake and stood waiting. After several minutes, the game warden turned to Ole and said, "Well?"
"Vell what?" responded Ole."When are you going to call them back?"
"Call who back?" asked Ole.
"The fish!"
"What fish?"
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To those in North Dakota, Minnesota, and for that matter the rest of the country, including Canada, I must report the sad news that Ole was shot. He was up by the Canadian border on his 4-wheeler cutting some trees when some rangers looking for terrorists spotted him.
According to the news reports, the rangers shouted to him over a loudspeaker, "Who are you and what are you doing?
"Ole shouted back, "OLE..... BIN LOGGIN'!"
Ole is survived by his wife Lena and Lena's good friend Lars.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
And dot's enough a dat.
Murphyism of the Day
Rudin's Law
In crises that force people to choose alternative courses of action, most people will choose the worst one possible.
Tuesday, January 03, 2006
Word of the Day
Inzit - The opposite of Exit.
Well, I suppose it was inevitable. I have a cold. I tried to fight it off but right now I feel like my lungs are going to exit my body every time I cough. I know who to thank for my cold...or is it the flu. That always confuses me when my stomach feels just fine and they end up feeling just the same. Anyway, #1 son came down with it last week and he's always been a very sharing child.
Laundry Day is taking longer than usual. Right now I know I have to get up and take the clothes out of the dryer, put the next load into the dryer, put the last load into the washing machine, and then fold the dry clothes. I decided that I'd blog first.
It's time to make supper too. Oh well, I've felt worse and kept going. Like the Energizer Bunny, this Mom keeps pounding on her drum no matter how hard her head hurts. Or...would you prefer...She takes a licking and keeps on ticking? Maybe a glass of wine will help. To go with my cheese.
Murphyism of the Day
Simon's Law
Everything put together falls apart sooner or later.
Inzit - The opposite of Exit.
Well, I suppose it was inevitable. I have a cold. I tried to fight it off but right now I feel like my lungs are going to exit my body every time I cough. I know who to thank for my cold...or is it the flu. That always confuses me when my stomach feels just fine and they end up feeling just the same. Anyway, #1 son came down with it last week and he's always been a very sharing child.
Laundry Day is taking longer than usual. Right now I know I have to get up and take the clothes out of the dryer, put the next load into the dryer, put the last load into the washing machine, and then fold the dry clothes. I decided that I'd blog first.
It's time to make supper too. Oh well, I've felt worse and kept going. Like the Energizer Bunny, this Mom keeps pounding on her drum no matter how hard her head hurts. Or...would you prefer...She takes a licking and keeps on ticking? Maybe a glass of wine will help. To go with my cheese.
Murphyism of the Day
Simon's Law
Everything put together falls apart sooner or later.
Monday, January 02, 2006
We're heading home today. I got my final coffee latte from the park and brought it back here to the room. After breakfast, we'll be stopping at my folks' place to pick up the dogs and then it's on to the DAAAAYAAAAM. How long the wait will be, we won't know until we get there. I'll finish up this post later tonight...maybe. All depends on how tired I am when we get back home.
As for the details of my luck? I've often told people that if you walk away from Vegas with money in your pocket, you won. The whole thing about gambling is that it's supposed to be fun. Video games for adults. Three days are about my limit. Anything more than that and it becomes work, not fun. So? Details? I broke even for this trip. No big jackpots. Just enough tiny ones to keep me playing. Again, Vegas paid for me to come here. Knock on wood, they'll pay for my next trip too.
******
Much later....
Actually, our drive back to Arizona didn't include a trip over the DAAAAAYAAAAM. We cut a full one and a half hours off our drive time. We planned to drive across the DAAAAYAAAAM but when we witnessed the line-up of traffic stretching back as far as Boulder, we changed our minds. We turned around and headed back through Boulder and then took the Searchlight/Laughlin route. I must say that this was a lot nicer traffic-wise. We may have to do that more often, at least until the Dam Bypass is completed. No police checkpoints. No people/tourists wandering/meandoring willy-nilly across the Daaayaaam roadway. No construction delays.
We're home!
As for the details of my luck? I've often told people that if you walk away from Vegas with money in your pocket, you won. The whole thing about gambling is that it's supposed to be fun. Video games for adults. Three days are about my limit. Anything more than that and it becomes work, not fun. So? Details? I broke even for this trip. No big jackpots. Just enough tiny ones to keep me playing. Again, Vegas paid for me to come here. Knock on wood, they'll pay for my next trip too.
******
Much later....
Actually, our drive back to Arizona didn't include a trip over the DAAAAAYAAAAM. We cut a full one and a half hours off our drive time. We planned to drive across the DAAAAYAAAAM but when we witnessed the line-up of traffic stretching back as far as Boulder, we changed our minds. We turned around and headed back through Boulder and then took the Searchlight/Laughlin route. I must say that this was a lot nicer traffic-wise. We may have to do that more often, at least until the Dam Bypass is completed. No police checkpoints. No people/tourists wandering/meandoring willy-nilly across the Daaayaaam roadway. No construction delays.
We're home!