2 Days Before My Daughter's Wedding.

The more nervous I feel, the calmer my husband is acting. You just want to hit someone like that.

I woke up this morning before sunrise. My son marches in the school band and he has what is called a zero hour class. That's a class that starts before school starts. That's a class that starts before the sun rises in the sky. He's been doing this for four years. Only this year he can drive so I don't have to take him. I still make sure I'm up to see him off though.

I made coffee and while sipping on my first cup of the day, I pondered all the things that I have on my TO DO list. Lots of stuff TO DO. I gazed outside at the rising sun and marveled at the beautiful red sunrise. How beautiful! And then it hit me. The fires in California. All those fires in California. I really have nothing in the world to complain about or worry about. We leave tomorrow for the wedding. Life is all about perspective. There's always going to be someone who is prettier, richer, younger, and happier then you. And there's always going to be someone who isn't. I woke up this morning and enjoyed a cup of coffee, listened to the birds singing, watched the ducks on the pond and marveled at a beautiful sunrise. And there are people dying in the Middle East. And California is burning. Thankfully my beautiful sunrise has more to do with some high clouds blowing in from the east and not from the smoke created by the many fires in California but it sure did stop and make me think.

Today's Little Bit of Trivia

A frog has to close its eyes in order to swallow.

3 Days Before My Daughter's Wedding.

I really don't have time to write in this blog. I picked up the wedding dress. Now I just have to remember to pack it. It's on my list. I still have to do laundry...tomorrow. I have to pack...tomorrow. I have to wrap the presents....tomorrow. See a pattern here? I've done enough today. The rest of this stuff can be done tomorrow. I went out to Razzelberries tonight and listened to my son's jazz band play and drank iced tea until I began to float. Then I had to go out and buy Hamlet for my son so he can keep up with his English class while he's in Vegas (of course I found a couple of books for me too...very dangerous to send me into a bookstore) and then he told me he ran out of deoderant and hair spray. Can't have that. One more quick trip to Target and then home to write this blog. If I don't get around to writing my blog tomorrow...don't be surprised. We actually are heading out to Vegas on Wednesday morning....after my son's zero hour marching band practice. "Doesn't your sister know that it's marching season?" Hey! I'm flying him back so he can march on Friday night aren't I? He's only going to miss two practices. Gimme us a break here.

Today's Little Bit of Trivia

Mark Twain was the first to type a book manuscript. He worked on a Remington Model No. 1 which he purchased in 1874. Mark Twain typed at the lightening quick speed of 19 words a minute. I wonder if that was with or without typo's?

4 Days Before My Daughter's Wedding.

I'm starting to panic now. It's not that I haven't got everything under control. Let's hope I have everything under control. Tomorrow I pick up the wedding dress if they haven't lost it. I still need to buy a card and wrap a couple of presents. I have to pack and not forget to bring something important like the wedding dress. I have to call my son's school and get him excused from school for a few days so he can come to the wedding. I have to make sure he gets all the homework he'll be missing when he misses school. I have to make sure he brings his e-ticket so he can fly back to Arizona after the wedding. Homecoming. Can't miss that. Better make sure he packs his house keys so he can get back into the house too...and his car keys. I wonder if he's written that scholarship essay yet? What am I forgetting? Am I forgetting something? I need to check my lists. Lists are good. Lists are your friends.

Today's Little Bit of Trivia

A banana tree isn't a tree. It's an herb. And in honor of that I'd like to share the following banana facts a friend sent me. I think I need to run out to the store and buy some bananas.

Doctors' Home Remedy

After Reading THIS, you'll NEVER look at the Banana in the same way again!!

Banana. Containing three natural sugars - sucrose, fructose and glucose - combined with fiber, a banana gives an instant, sustained and substantial boost of energy. Research has proven that just two bananas provide enough energy for a strenuous 90-minute workout. No wonder the banana is the number one fruit with the world's leading athletes. But energy isn't the only way a banana can help us keep fit. It can also help overcome or prevent a substantial number of illnesses and conditions, making it a must to add to our daily diet.

Depression: According to a recent survey undertaken by MIND amongst people suffering from depression, many felt much better after eating a banana. This is because bananas contain tryptophan, a type of protein that the body converts into serotonin, known to make you relax, improve your mood and generally make you feel happier.

PMS: Forget the pills - eat a banana. The vitamin B6 it contains regulates blood glucose levels, which can affect your mood.

Anemia: High in iron, bananas can stimulate the production of hemoglobin in the blood and so helps in cases of anemia.

Blood Pressure: This unique tropical fruit is extremely high in potassium yet low in salt, making it the perfect to beat blood pressure. So much so, the US Food and Drug Administration has just allowed the banana industry to make official claims for the fruit's ability to reduce the risk of blood pressure and stroke.

Brain Power: 200 students at a Twickenham (Middlesex) school were helped through their exams this year by eating bananas at breakfast, break, and lunch in a bid to boost their brain power. Research has shown that the potassium-packed fruit can assist learning by making pupils more alert.

Constipation: High in fiber, including bananas in the diet can help restore normal bowel action, helping to overcome the problem without resorting to laxatives..

Hangovers: One of the quickest ways of curing a hangover is to make a banana milkshake, sweetened with honey. The banana calms the stomach and, with the help of the honey, builds up depleted blood sugar levels, while the milk soothes and re-hydrates your system.

Heartburn: Bananas have a natural antacid effect in the body, so if you suffer from heartburn, try eating a banana for soothing relief.

Morning Sickness: Snacking on bananas between meals helps to keep blood sugar levels up and avoid morning sickness.

Mosquito bites: Before reaching for the insect bite cream, try rubbing the affected area with the inside of a banana skin. Many people find it amazingly successful at reducing swelling and irritation.

Nerves: Bananas are high in B vitamins that help calm the nervous system.

Overweight and at work? Studies at the Institute of Psychology in Austria found pressure at work leads to gorging on comfort food like chocolate and crisps. Looking at 5,000 hospital patients, researchers found the most obese were more likely to be in high-pressure jobs. The report concluded that, to avoid panic-induced food cravings, we need to control our blood sugar levels by snacking on high carbohydrate foods every two hours to keep levels steady.

Ulcers: The banana is used as the dietary food against intestinal disorders because of its soft texture and smoothness. It is the only raw fruit that can be eaten without distress in over-chronicler cases. It also neutralizes over-acidity and reduces irritation by coating the lining of the stomach.

Temperature control: Many other cultures see bananas as a "cooling" fruit that can lower both the physical and emotional temperature of expectant mothers. In Thailand, for example, pregnant women eat bananas to ensure their baby is born with a cool temperature.

Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD): Bananas can help SAD sufferers because they contain the natural mood enhancer, tryptophan.

Smoking: Bananas can also help people trying to give up smoking. The B6, B12 they contain, as well as the potassium and magnesium found in them, help the body recover from the effects of nicotine withdrawal.

Stress: Potassium is a vital mineral, which helps normalize the heartbeat, sends oxygen to the brain and regulates your body's water balance. When we are stressed, our metabolic rate rises, thereby reducing our potassium levels. These can be re-balanced with the help of a high-potassium banana snack.

Strokes: According to research in "The New England Journal of Medicine," eating bananas as part of a regular diet can cut the risk of death by strokes by as much as 40%!

Warts: Those keen on natural alternatives swear that if you want to kill off a wart, take a piece of banana skin and place it on the wart, with the yellow side out. Carefully hold the skin in place with a plaster or surgical tape!

So, you see, a banana really is a natural remedy for many ills. When you compare it to an apple, it has four times the protein, twice the carbohydrate, three times the phosphorus, five times the vitamin A and iron, and twice the other vitamins and minerals. It is also rich in potassium and is one of the best value foods around.

Maybe its time to change that well-known phrase so that we say, "A banana a day keeps the doctor away!"

5 Days Before My Daughter's Wedding.

Just when things start looking like they just might settle down someone pulls another rabbit out of the hat. But it isn't always a rabbit. Again I'm reminded of Rocky and Bulliwinkle. I found out yesterday that my son has a science fair project. This is a major project. He has to have all his research books, an idea for an experiment with a hypothesis, and all this has to be written up and presented to the teacher by Monday. He's at the library now because he has to present a bibliography with real books, internet knowledge is not exceptable. Apparently the science fair project...the end result with the story boards etc. isn't due until February? So what do you think my first question to him was? "When did you get this assignment?" He got it two weeks ago...of course. I realize that he's been busy with band, SAT tests, college entrance applications and other projects like sleeping and enjoying his two week "break" but it sure would have been nice to know about this "little" project two weeks ago. This is typical though. I not really surprised. He's my youngest and I've gone through this sort of thing more often then I can say with my two daughters. I suppose I should be happy that we were notified of my daughter's plan to marry four months before the wedding even though most weddings take a year to plan. Oh well. We spent last night brainstorming and refining his science fair project so at least he'll know what books to look for when we take him to the library today. Something about bullet proof vests. Actually, my husband will be taking him to the library. I have to go to church for that practice. Never a dull moment.

Today's Little Bit of Trivia

Before 1859, baseball umpires sat behind home plate in rocking chairs. I added this little bit of trivia because of the World Series. I haven't been watching but I hear that the Marlins are beating N.Y.

6 Days Before My Daughter's Wedding.

Everything was going according to plan. We rushed out and made it just in time for our appointment at the Design Center for our new home. Our appointment lasted 4 long hours. For the first three hours my husband taught the design center staff all about Cat5 wiring (I think they should have paid him for the class) and showed them exactly where he wanted the outlets and what type of outlets to be placed in each of the rooms in our new house. He then talked to someone who knew what he was talking about. Let's face it. Not too many people living and building in an Active Adult Community know much about Cat5 wiring. Del Webb is proud of the fact that their homes all have Cat5 wiring. They boast about it. People buy their houses and seem pleased as punch that they have it. But not many of them know what the heck it is or what to do with it now that they have it. My husband knows what it is and is prepared to upgrade from the standard. We are the new breed of Active Adult. Del Webb better start expecting this sort of thing. Electrical engineers eventually do retire and want to live somewhere. But they still want their toys. The last hour of our appointment was spent choosing flooring, countertops, and landscaping. This they understood. They loved me. I actually spoke their language. Cat5 took 3 hours. The rest of the house took only one hour.

And then we called home because we were running late. Gasp! Oh my goodness! We find out that today is our future son-in-law's birthday! Happy Birthday! We ran out to the store to quickly find a present, a card, and gift wrap. What does one get one's future son-in-law? OK. He loves coffee. I bought him a coffee grinder and some coffee. We're talking about a quick stop at the grocery store on the way home. He loved it. So there! We took our future son-in-law and our daughter out for supper to celebrate. Happy Birthday! They brought him a free piece of mudpie and sang the Happy Birthday song.

One more fire put out. Tomorrow I have to go to church to practice the music I'll have to play for the Sunday after I get back from the wedding. And I have to quickly get a wedding shower organized for the night before the wedding. My suite. 8:30 PM. Bring a gag gift. If my other daughter reads this she'll know but I suppose I'd better email her just in case.

Today's Little Bit of Trivia.

Aluminum was spelled "aluminium" until 1925 in the U.S. I remember having to relearn the spelling of aeroplane, colour, and theatre while I was going to school. And then there was that little bit of confusion about the front and back door. My teacher and the book kept telling me that the front door of a person's house was the door that was most often used. OK. So I kept placing the front door at the back of the house. And she kept marking it wrong. She even called in my mother. It took them a while to figure out why the heck I was so stubborn about placing the front door at the rear of the house. I was just going by the definition given in the book and by the teacher. My teacher even tried to tell me that the front door was the one where the doorbell was located. Hah! We had three doors on our house. Eliminating the side door where the old doorbell had been removed. We had a doorbell on the other two doors too. No help there. She must have thought I was hopelessly dyslexic. Our "front" door was one that no-one really used except when we had company like the minister or company on holidays. That darn door had the trickiest latch! You had to throw your hip into it in order to unlock or lock it. I wonder if the new owners ever fixed that?

7 Days Before My Daughter's Wedding. I called the bridal gown shop yesterday morning and after convincing the manager of the bridal gown place where my daughter's gown was to be altered that my daughter had not brought in a burgundy gown to be altered but a full length traditional wedding gown, I was relieved to discover that my daughter's gown had indeed been altered. So with confidence I brought my daughter over there and surprise, surprise, it had been altered. And it looked very nice. They did not ruin the gown. Now if they can just hang on to it and not lose it, I can go pick it up on Monday. I shall keep my fingers and toes crossed. Toe crossing isn't very good for your feet. Maybe I'll just cross my fingers.

I feel really good about how much I did today. I went over with my husband to the eye doctor and then I tortured him by forcing him to sit in the passenger seat while I drove him on several small errands. I had to get replacement batteries in three of my watches. All three of those watches died at the same time. Since I want to wear one of those watches for the wedding I thought I'd better take care of the problem as soon as possible. I had two coupons. I was able to get two watches fixed with new batteries at one jewelry store for $5. And then I brought the other watch over to another jewelry store and got that one fixed for $2. Meantime, my husband looked a bit like a drugged out zombie with his dilated eyes.

I was just about to relent and take him home when the cellphone rang. My daughter, had locked her keys in her car along with her "purse". She needed us to go over to her apartment and get her spare set from her fiance and bring it to her clear across town. During rush hour traffic. I told my husband to close his still dilated eyes and relax and to keep his mouth shut. He has a real problem with that part. Keeping his mouth shut. It's not like I'm a horrible driver. I just drive a little differently then he drives. I close my eyes and zone out when he drives because he drives differently then I drive. He doesn't like to be driven because he's likes to be in control. I don't like to be driven because I like to be in control but I'm a bit more flexible.

Today's Little Bit of Trivia

Vincent van Gogh didn't begin to draw until he was 27. I'm still going to take that painting class. And the stained glass class too.

8 Days Before My Daughter's Wedding. Actually, we leave in exactly one week. A smart man recently commented that I shouldn't sweat the nuts. I'm not sure exactly what he meant. The Jordan Almonds? Or was he referring to families being like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts. Probably both. He tends to favor double entendre.

I've decided that things could be worse. Don't ask me for clarification of that. I always think of someone innocently telling the photographer for an outside shoot on a grey and dreary day that "Things could be worse?" The photographer absently replies, "How's that?". At that point, the heavens open and the rain pours, lightening strikes, and the whole town is flooded. Yes, things could be worse.

I took my daughter for her fitting yesterday. " Oops! We're sorry! We made a mistake." We were supposed to feel better because the petticoat we ordered was there and "Isn't the ring-bearers pillow that you ordered lovely?" For some reason that I can not fathom, they didn't connect the dress with the order. Nor were they concerned that there was an order that was supposed to be completed by a certain time but they couldn't find a dress to match the order? Of course, no-one bothered to call me about the confusion. This was supposed to be my daughter's final fitting. We leave in a week for the wedding. They hadn't even touched the dress since we went in for the initial fitting three weeks ago. I've been promised that the entire job (and we're talking major alterations here) will completed by 3 PM this afternoon...even if they have to work all night long. Needless to say, my daughter was and is upset. What sort of quality work can be done with so little time available? She has visions of walking down the aisle with seams splitting and her gown falling apart halfway down the aisle leaving her standing in her petticoat. I had to take her to coffee and calm her down. I told her that things like this happen and that everything will turn out just fine. Since she doesn't have a computer and she won't be reading this I can tell you that I'm upset too. I have nightmares of going there today and finding out that they've shortened the dress, not from the waistband as they are supposed to and promised, but by cutting 6 inches off the bottom of the beautifully embroidered and beaded skirt of the dress and then have them tell me that that's what they thought I wanted them to do. Ruin the dress!

Yes, things can be worse but I refuse to speculate. I prefer to put my rose colored glasses back on and go into that final final fitting today with rosy expectations. But just in case, I think I'd better make sure that my daughter doesn't come to the fitting armed with any sharp objects. She sounded a bit like she was ready to kill someone yesterday....and it wasn't me. That's a plus.

Today's Little Bit of Trivia

Turkeys are not from Turkey. They are from North America. I personally know of a few that work at a certain bridal shop in Arizona.

9 Days Before My Daughter's Wedding. Today I take her out for the final fitting of her wedding gown. Final arrangements are being made for the bus to take everyone from the hotel in Las Vegas to where the wedding is being held and then back to where the reception is being held. The logistics of arranging for getting out-of-town guests from the airport to the hotel and back again are a complete nightmare. There used to be airport shuttles to take care of this sort of thing but apparently we can blame the September 11th terrorists for yet another change in our modern world. I'm an out-of-towner too but...I'm driving. The bride and groom are driving too. And so are most of their friends. Oh well, we did find a shuttle. Unfortunately, they charge an outrageous sum of money but....it's cheaper then renting a car. I think.

Today's Little Bit of Trivia

If you have at least 5/8 of a torn dollar bill, it can be redeemed at full value. Just don't try to stick it into one of the slot machines in Vegas. Actually, don't try to stick a brand new one or a really well worn one into one the of the slot machines either. The machines get confused and will usually reject them. I wonder how the machines will react to the new $20 bills? They really hated the new $100 bills when they first came out. Some of them still hate the not so new anymore $100 bills. Not that I go around sticking $100 bills into slot machines. I think I'd have a panic attack if I did that not to mention that my husband would probably kill me.

10 Days Before My Daughter's Wedding. Have faith! All will happen as it is supposed to happen...whatever that means. I've always felt, good or bad, things happen the way they are supposed to happen. And with that little gift of a piece of my belief structure, I will share a "funny" that was sent to me by my mother.

Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.

There is always a lot to be thankful for, if you take the time to look.
For example, I'm sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt.

The best way to keep kids at home is to make a pleasant atmosphere - and let the air out of their tires.

Families are like fudge . . . mostly sweet, with a few nuts.

Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.

Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.

My mind not only wanders; sometimes it leaves completely.

If you can remain calm, you just don't have all the facts.

Sometimes it's better not to know all the facts.

If you don't believe in God, rest in the comfort that He still believes in you.

Today's Little Bit of Trivia

The origin of "God Bless You" is nothing to sneeze at. An old superstition had it that when someone sneezed, their soul momentarily left their body through the nostrils. This enabled the devil to creep in and prevent the return of the soul, but by saying "God Bless You" the devil was stopped cold from entering the body.

11 Days Before My Daughter's Wedding. Now I'm trying to figure out seating arrangements. People can't figure out where to seat themselves? OK. Maybe not. I can do this. I wish I knew who all these people REALLY are. Should be interesting. In the meantime, I scored a major coup. I found some shoes to wear for the wedding. Is there some kind of rule out there that the Mother of the Bride has to wear shoes that match her dress? I bought one pair of shoes that are really cute but they don't match the dress. I bought another pair of shoes that match the dress, but they aren't all that cute. So now I have to decide whether it'll present a major faux paux if I wear a pair of really cute shoes that don't exactly match my dress.

Today's Little Bit of Trivia

Leonardo da Vinci could draw with one hand and write with the other--at the same time. Hah! Ask any mother how many different things she has to take care of similtaneously with only the two hands God blessed her with. Thank goodness God blessed us with hips too.

12 Days Before My Daughter's Wedding Why don't people RSVP? Why do they think I sent those little self-addressed stamped envelopes? All they need to do is drop them in the mail with a yes or a no. I realize that people have busy lives. But at this point I don't even know if the father of the groom is going to come to the wedding. Should I order him a steak dinner anyway? What if he shows up? Where do I put him? Now some people called me, talked to me personally and told me that they were coming to the wedding. That's OK. That's just fine. I know. Some people called me and sent the RSVP anyway. I'm keeping the RSVP's for my daughter's memory box. So the burning question is: "How many steak dinners do I order for the reception? And how many chicken dinners?" I have to have a definite answer to this question next week. On a lighter note, a friend sent me the following "funny".

A Story With a Morale


THINK YOU'RE UNHAPPY?

Once upon a time, there was a 'nonconforming' sparrow who decided not to fly south for the winter. However, soon the weather turned so cold that he reluctantly started to fly south. In a short time ice began to form on his wings and he fell to earth in a barnyard, almost frozen.

A cow passed by and crapped on the little sparrow. The sparrow thought it was the end. But, the manure warmed him and defrosted his wings. Warm and happy, able to breathe, he started to sing.

Just then a large cat came by and hearing the chirping, investigated the sound. The cat cleared away the manure, found the chirping bird and promptly ate him.


~~~~~MORAL OF THE STORY~~~~~


1.) Everyone who shits on you is not necessarily your enemy.

2.) Everyone who gets you out of the shit is not necessarily your friend.

3.) And, if you're warm and happy in a pile of shit, keep your mouth shut.


Today's Little Bit of Trivia

In most cases, its cheaper to send a student to college than it is to keep a prisoner in jail. My son is graduating from high school in June. Save taxpayer money....send donations.

13 Days before my daughter's wedding. And there will be Jordan Almonds! They arrived today in good condition. The border guards let them through. Woohoo! And I haven't received any visits from strange men in suits either. I'm not a terrorist! I'm just a mother planning her daughter's wedding! Some people may compare the two (mothers and terrorists) and find some sort of similarity but as the mother in question, I just don't see it.

Today's Little Bit of Trivia

An average American will eat 350 cows, 310 hogs, and 225 lambs in a lifetime. I have no idea where this little bit of trivia comes from but I really don't think that I eat that much meat. Well...maybe cows but not lambs. I don't like lamb. I do eat a lot of chickens though. Do eggs count? Pre-chickens?

My landscaper finally showed up. He was supposed to come last week but he really isn't all that reliable when it comes to telling time. He loses whole days and even weeks sometimes. Why in the world don't I fire this guy? Because he doesn't attack my trees like a Texas chainsaw murderer when they need trimming. One must take the good with the bad. Anyway, he's here today overseeding my lawn for the winter months so that my grass will look nice for any potential buyers this spring. And my trees remain trees and not little lollipop wanna be's.

Today's Little Bit of Trivia

A bee uses 22 muscles to sting someone. The last reason my landscaper gave me for not coming to do my yard was that there were too many bees and there must be a hive in one of my bushes. I called my exterminator and was told that there were no hives in the area or in the bushes. The bees were just busy pollenating my sage bush. I wonder what excuse my landscaper will use next time. Both his grandmothers and his aunt have already died.

15 More Days before the wedding. "Hey Rocky! Wanna watch me pull a rabbit out of this hat?" I haven't decided yet whether I'm Rocky or Bullwinkle. I tend to be a bit schizophrenic about that. Sometimes I'm Rocky watching in horror as Bullwinkle pulls a lion out of his hat, and sometimes I'm Bullwinkle innocently thinking that he's actually going to pull the expected rabbit out of his hat. Did he ever actually pull a rabbit out of that hat?

Today's Little Bit of Trivia

The average American drinks three and a half cups of coffee a day. I can't start on that project today until after my dentist appointment. Coffee has a tendency to make the nitrous gas ineffective. I want my coffee. I miss my coffee but I really hate sitting in a dentist chair. The smells, the sounds, someone probing around in your mouth with sharp objects. I'll wait and drink my coffee later. Only problem is that I'm sure that I'll have to schedule at least two more of these torture sessions after today's torture session. Kinda makes on want to forget the whole process. I'm going, I'm going. In an hour.

Only 16 Days to go before the wedding. We've gone from using pink roses, to using peach roses and now we're back to pink roses because pink goes better with Stargazer lilies. I talked to the DJ and I'm assured that there will be tunes for the reception. We've added one more person to the guest list too. My daughter and her fiance move into their new apartment tomorrow and will need the help of The Ma and Pa Moving Company to move tomorrow. That'll have to be in the late afternoon because Ma has to go to the dentist in the morning. We all know how I feel about anything remotely related to dentists and dentistry. I plan to drug myself silly before my husband drives me over to the oral torture chamber.

Today's Little Bit of Trivia

A bear has 42 teeth. A five year U.S. Public Health Service study discovered that kissing can cause tooth decay. I'd rather not get close enough to a bear to check that first bit of trivia. As for that second bit of trivia....I don't kiss and tell.

I am truly getting old. The majority of people out there are starting to look like....my kids. I've noticed this before but it's starting to bug me. I went with my husband and my son to have them measured for their tuxedo's for the wedding. Men's Warehouse. They were our best bet because the wedding is being held in Vegas, some of the wedding party is coming from Florida, and the rest is coming from Arizona. They were willing to measure everyone at the various computer connected stores across our nation and then have the finished rental product ready for pick up in Las Vegas on the day before the wedding. And then we can return the same rental product in Las Vegas the next day. Anyway, I was shocked at the age of the kids (young men who looked about the same age as my 17 year old son) who were taking the measurements for my husband and my son. They looked really really young. I hope to heck they knew what they were doing. I'll let you know how things go after the wedding. All I can tell you is that they've told me that everyone has now been measured for the wedding. Let's all pray that all the tuxedo's end up at the same store (the correct store), at the same date and time (the correct date and time), and in the correct colors, styles, and sizes.

Something always goes wrong at every wedding that I've ever heard of. My husband's car broke down on the way to our wedding. Our organist managed to contract pneumonia and we had to get a last minute replacement and the priest was late. Someone in the wedding party passed out at my sister's wedding. The bride passed out at my brother-in-law's wedding. I've never heard of one married person who can't tell you about one harrowing incident that happened at their wedding. All that's gone wrong for this wedding so far is that the Jordan Almonds got stopped at the Canadian/United States border. They were searched, dumped out of their packages, and who knows what else, before they continued on their messed up way to my house. More Jordan Almonds have been sent and are currently on their merry way to replace the first. According to Tracking, they are currently being searched by custom's agents in Michigan as we speak. Apparently, Jordan Almonds are very dangerous. I expect I've been added to some secret government list of people with terrorist ties. I pray that this is the worst to happen because quite frankly, I don't think anyone will notice if I have little tulle bags of Jordan Almonds or not. I better check up on the D.J. again. I think people will notice if he doesn't show up. I got the placecards done! I wonder how many people will show up who never RSVP'd?

Today's Little Bit of Trivia

A peanut is not a nut. It is a legume. Apparently, Jordan Almonds may not be almonds. I wonder who tasted one to make sure? How many had to be tasted? I may have been smuggling gold and silver shaped like almonds. And what about those white ones?

We signed enough papers to give me writer's cramp. Wow! A whole book of papers! And we haven't even applied for the loan yet. I shudder to think about the paperwork that will generate. Those poor trees. Those poor, poor trees. I wonder how many trees had to lose their lives so I could sign my name to some incredibly boring documents so that Del Webb can protect their legal rear ends? I now have a 4" ring notebook full of papers. I'm sure there will be much more paperwork to be generated like octopus ink when the loan people gently drag us inward with their long suckered tentacles. Lovely bit of imagery? I could be wrong...but I doubt it.

Today's Little Bit of Trivia

The handshake is a friendly gesture today, but it originated in ancient times out of suspicion. Strangers shook hands to show that they were unarmed. And then lawyers took over and generated reams of paperwork for everyone to sign.

Caught one! I told you we've been hunting for a new home. We reserved a lot at Solera, a Del Webb developement in Chandler, Arizona. (We picked out the Saguaro model....B Elevation with that cute little blip of a golf cart garage which we'll probably never use for anything but storage.)

We weren't satisfied with the amount of stress piled in our lives with a daughter getting married at the end of the month, a son taking SAT tests for college entrance requirements, the same son working hard to get good grades for his final year of high school, and the same son hoping to get scholarships for college. Did I mention that our daughter is getting married at the end of the month? Oh yea, that's right. I did. We even took a trip to Vegas to take care of some of the details. And I got a royal flush playing video poker sometime between visits to see the caterer and visits to meet with the wedding co-ordinator.

Tomorrow we go out and sign a contract for the new house and then sometime next week we meet with the money people and then sometime before the wedding we pick out our flooring and stuff like that but it would be nice if we could do that after the wedding if we can talk them into delaying that and then sometime in April or May we can start moving stuff into our new and smaller home in an active adult community and then we can hopefully have an offer already for the house we're in right now and gradually get rid of everything that won't fit into the new house from the old house that we don't want to take to Wisconsin to keep up there at that house? All this without disrupting our high school senior's life too much. Oops. I forgot that the landscaper is supposed to come by next week to overseed our lawn so that the grass will be green for prospective buyers. Do I sound scattered? Gotta love the stress. Where would I be without it? As a plus, our high school senior made Who's Who Among American High School Students, 2002-2003. Anyone want to buy a copy of their publication? They also sell mugs...and key chains.

Today's Little Bit of Trivia

Tuna fish swim at an average speed of 9 miles per hour constantly. They never stop moving.

Everyone repeat after me! Happy Birthday to You, Happy Birthday to You, Happy Birthday Dear Mink, Happy Birthday to You. It's my daughter's birthday today. Happy Birthday Mink! Love you. I owe you a drink...when I see you later this month.

Today's Little Bit of Trivia

I can't think of anything trivial except that it's really hard to wash my hair in the tiny little sink here at Sam's Town and I forgot my trivia book back in Arizona. I'll resume Today's Little Bit of Trivia tomorrow night when I get back to Arizona if I actually blog tomorrow.

I normally try to post a blog on a daily basis. But I'm in Las Vegas right now. Sin City. I'm slaving away on the laptop right now writing this blog while I could be down gambling away my life savings. Poor me. OK. So I already gambled away my life savings (only kidding...I just gambled away half my life savings...OK...I gave up way before that) and now I can spend some quality time up in my room writing my blog. Anyone who thinks they can make a quick buck by gambling in Vegas is dilusional bordering on insane. There are support groups out there for those who think this way. I've heard countless accounts from people who claim that they hit it big out here but quite frankly I've never met anyone who has. I think most of these stories are kind of "fishy". Gambling and Fishing are kind of related in my mind. A good fisherman is always after that illusive big fish. A cronic gambler is always after that illusive pot of gold. Both can tell you tales that will awe and amaze you...if you believe them. Quite frankly, I'm awed and amazed even when I don't believe them. Did I ever tell you all about that fish I caught off the dock one year....it was bigger then the boat. It got away because I was all by myself and the fish was too big to fit into the landing net.

Today's Little Bit of Trivia

How much money can one errant mother gamble away in one evening at Sam's Town? I'll let you know.

We're still "hunting" for a new home but I think we've got one in our sights. I'll keep you posted. This one is really nice and is closer to where we currently live. I can still keep going to my church...when we're here in town. Speaking of church, I thought I'd pass along the following "funny" that a friend sent me.

The Creation of Pets

Where do pets come from?

A newly discovered chapter in the Book of Genesis has provided the answer to "Where do pets come from?"

Adam and Eve said, "Lord, when we were in the garden, you walked with us every day. Now we do not see you any more. We are lonesome here, and it is difficult for us to remember how much you love us."

And God said, "No problem! I will create a companion for you that will be with you forever and who will be a reflection of my love for you, so that you will love me even when you cannot see me. Regardless of how selfish or childish or unlovable you may be, this new companion will accept you as you are and will love you as I do, in spite of yourselves."

And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam and Eve.

And it was a good animal.

And God was pleased.

And the new animal was pleased to be with Adam and Eve and he wagged his tail.

And Adam said, "Lord, I have already named all the animals in the Kingdom and I cannot think of a name for this new animal."

And God said, "No problem. Because I have created this new animal to be a reflection of my love for you, his name will be a reflection of my own name, and you will call him
DOG."

And Dog lived with Adam and Eve and was a companion to them and loved them.

And they were comforted.

And God was pleased.

And Dog was content and wagged his tail.

After a while, it came to pass that an angel came to the Lord and said, "Lord, Adam and Eve have become filled with pride. They strut and preen like peacocks and they believe they are worthy of adoration. Dog has indeed taught them that they are loved, but perhaps too well."

And God said, "No problem! I will create for them a companion who will be with them forever and who will see them as they are. The companion will remind them of their limitations, so they will know that they are not always worthy of adoration."

And God created CAT to be a companion to Adam and Eve.

And Cat would not obey them.

And when Adam and Eve gazed into Cat's eyes, they were reminded that they were not the supreme beings.

And Adam and Eve learned humility.

And they were greatly improved.

And God was pleased.

And Dog was happy.

And Cat didn't give a shit one way or the other.

Today's Little Bit of Trivia

Droplets of moisture from a sneeze can travel as far as twelve feet and as fast as 100 miles per hour. I don't have time to catch a cold right now, much less have the time to duck someone's sneeze moisture.

As a follow up on the contact blog, I have been doing...OK...with the mono vision plan. Yes, I do have a weird "starburst" effect after dark but...it's so pretty, kind of like fireworks. My father tells me that I lost my contact at the Jefferson Memorial. I told you he'd remember. As for my Italian class...we did so well that our instuctor threw two more chapters at us along with a huge amount of homework. We're adults, after all, we can handle the stress that comes with an overload of too much homework.

Today's Little Bit of Trivia

President U.S. Grant ate cucumbers for breakfast. What's so unusual about that? My family has been known to have: Chives on toast, Elf brand herring on toast, green onions with toast, and Piccalilii relish on toast, for breakfast. I even love Fried Italian Peppers on my toast in the morning. And let's not forget my fondness for caviar in the morning.

What?! It's Friday again! So soon?! I did do my homework for tomorrow's Italian class. I'm not sure if I remember it all or if it all sank in or not but I did do my homework. Actually...I'm pretty sure I'd better take a look at the first three lessons again sometime before now and tomorrow morning.

My son starts his interim break from school on Monday. This doesn't mean that he'll be spending the next two weeks in bed. He's a busy boy. He has his trumpet and guitar lessons. He has his SAT prep classes. He has his SAT test after that. He has a solid week of marching band practice for competitions coming up. He's even going to go camping with a friend and his family. All this in two short weeks. And then the wedding is going to be coming up too and he has to go in and get fitted for his tuxedo. Busy, busy boy.

Today's Little Bit of Trivia

Donkeys aren't the only jackasses. A variety of penguins are called jackasses too. I probably don't need to add my opinion here of various of our public officials and politicians...or that person with the cellphone glued to his ear who cut me off (no turn signals of course) while I was driving home from the post office today.

OK. I caved in. I went to get fitted for contact lenses today. I used to wear the stupid things while I was in my teens. I paid for hard contacts with my own hard-earned money at that time. It took forever to get used to them. Red, tearing, eyes for months. They kept flying out of my eyes. My fault. You should never pull at the corner of your eyes while wearing hard contact lenses because that's how you take them off. My most noted time for "taking off" my contact lenses was the time my parents and I were visiting Washington D.C. I no longer recall if the incident happened in front of the Washington Monument or the Lincoln Memorial. I'm sure my father could tell you. I can no longer remember how many tourists were crawling around on their hands and knees looking for my contacts lens. Again, I'm sure my father could tell you. I try to forget these little embarrassing incidents of my youth. I don't fully recall the exact moments each of my kids entered this world either. One tends to block such things out...otherwise who would ever agree to have more then one child? So, who would ever agree to wear contact lenses?

A point in my favor (to prove that I haven't totally lost my mind), is that I stopped wearing hard contact lenses as soon as they invented a safer version of the soft contact lens. I wore those for years and years and was quite happy. But then my vision started to "age" faster then my hair turned grey. I noticed that I could no longer see up close when I was wearing my contacts. I could not do needlework if I wore contacts and then it got so bad that I couldn't even read a menu if I was wearing my contacts. Bifocals. I needed bifocals. And I got used to my bifocals but I couldn't wear contacts ever again.

And then they invented bifocal contacts. Old Grey Frog's husband really hates Old Grey Frog's glasses. I got bifocal contacts. I liked them...kinda. I could see in the distance...kinda. Who needs to drive a car? I could see the menu....kinda. OK. So the bifocal contacts just didn't work out. I need to drive a car. I need to order my own meal at a restaurant. No more contacts. Ever again. Old Grey Frog's husband had to adjust.

My daughter is going to get married at the end of this month. Vanity, thy name is The Old Grey Frog. I went in today and got fitted for contacts. I'm going to try Mono Vision. This is where they correct one of your eyes for distance and the other eye for closeup. Your brain is supposed to figure it all out. I'm told most people eventually adjust to it. Let's hope that my brain is adjustable and not like that old dog who couldn't learn new tricks. All I want is to look good for my daughter's wedding photos.

Today's Little Bit of Trivia

The only mobile U.S. National Monument are San Francisco's cable cars. Hey, Dad! Aren't you glad we went to Washington D.C. that year and not San Francisco?

It's truly amazing how much one needs to pay to get a wedding dress altered. Wow! If I wasn't so afraid of my sewing machine and if I wasn't almost positive I'd ruin the dress, I'd alter the thing myself. Unfortunately, I'm just not that good at this sort of thing. Fortunately, I did find someone who does seem to know what she's doing. I now can sit back and let someone else worry about the wedding dress. All I have to do is bring my daughter back in for a final fitting in a couple of weeks and then pick the dress up a few days before the wedding. I can now pat myself on the back, being careful not to break my arm because who wants to go to their daughter's wedding with an arm in a cast, because I am smart enough to know my limitations...and I got the dress on sale (Sherry's Bridal in Wisconsin) so the cost of the alterations on top of the cost of the dress is still less then what I would have paid for the least expensive dress (cost of alterations not included) in the Bride To Be store where I'm having the alterations done. And to top that off I still get to retain my sanity. Yeah me! I was feeling so good about everything that I bought one of those cute ring-bearers pillows for our ring-bearer to use and a petticoat for my daughter to wear under her gown. The garters I made were way cuter then anything that the shop carried. I do have some talents. Sewing just isn't one of them.

Today's Little Bit of Trivia

Researchers have found that, on the left hand, the ring finger is longer than the index finger in only three out of ten women, but in six of ten men the ring finger wins hands down. Mmmm. Actually, I think mine are the same size so I must be in the majority.