OK. I caved in. I went to get fitted for contact lenses today. I used to wear the stupid things while I was in my teens. I paid for hard contacts with my own hard-earned money at that time. It took forever to get used to them. Red, tearing, eyes for months. They kept flying out of my eyes. My fault. You should never pull at the corner of your eyes while wearing hard contact lenses because that's how you take them off. My most noted time for "taking off" my contact lenses was the time my parents and I were visiting Washington D.C. I no longer recall if the incident happened in front of the Washington Monument or the Lincoln Memorial. I'm sure my father could tell you. I can no longer remember how many tourists were crawling around on their hands and knees looking for my contacts lens. Again, I'm sure my father could tell you. I try to forget these little embarrassing incidents of my youth. I don't fully recall the exact moments each of my kids entered this world either. One tends to block such things out...otherwise who would ever agree to have more then one child? So, who would ever agree to wear contact lenses?

A point in my favor (to prove that I haven't totally lost my mind), is that I stopped wearing hard contact lenses as soon as they invented a safer version of the soft contact lens. I wore those for years and years and was quite happy. But then my vision started to "age" faster then my hair turned grey. I noticed that I could no longer see up close when I was wearing my contacts. I could not do needlework if I wore contacts and then it got so bad that I couldn't even read a menu if I was wearing my contacts. Bifocals. I needed bifocals. And I got used to my bifocals but I couldn't wear contacts ever again.

And then they invented bifocal contacts. Old Grey Frog's husband really hates Old Grey Frog's glasses. I got bifocal contacts. I liked them...kinda. I could see in the distance...kinda. Who needs to drive a car? I could see the menu....kinda. OK. So the bifocal contacts just didn't work out. I need to drive a car. I need to order my own meal at a restaurant. No more contacts. Ever again. Old Grey Frog's husband had to adjust.

My daughter is going to get married at the end of this month. Vanity, thy name is The Old Grey Frog. I went in today and got fitted for contacts. I'm going to try Mono Vision. This is where they correct one of your eyes for distance and the other eye for closeup. Your brain is supposed to figure it all out. I'm told most people eventually adjust to it. Let's hope that my brain is adjustable and not like that old dog who couldn't learn new tricks. All I want is to look good for my daughter's wedding photos.

Today's Little Bit of Trivia

The only mobile U.S. National Monument are San Francisco's cable cars. Hey, Dad! Aren't you glad we went to Washington D.C. that year and not San Francisco?