The service representative for my cellphone company called me yesterday. I didn't get my minutes back. I was told that I should fill my phone 3 days before the expiration date from now on, I was patted on the head verbally, and advised to "Have a great weekend." I hate cellphones.

My niece sent me the following "funny" which I thought I'd share.

MEDICAL TERMS

Benign..........What you be after you be eight.
Artery..........The study of painting.
Bacteria..........Back door to the cafeteria.
Barium..........What doctors do when patients die.
Cesarean Section..........A neighborhood in Rome.
Cat Scan...........Searching for Kitty.
Cauterize..........Made eye contact with her.
Colic..........A sheep dog.
Coma..........A punctuation mark.
D&C..........Where Washington is.
Dilate..........To live long.
Enema..........Not a friend.
Fester..........Quicker then someone else.
Fibula..........A small lie.
Genital..........Non-Jewish person.
G.I Series..........World Series of military baseball.
Hangnail..........What you hang your coat on.
Impotent..........Distinguished, well known.
Labor pain..........Getting hurt at work.
Medical Staff..........A Doctor's cane.
Morbid..........A higher offer than I bid.
Nitrates...........Cheaper than day rates.
Node..........I knew it.
Outpatient..........A person who has fainted.
Pap Smear..........A fatherhood test.
Pelvis..........Second cousin to Elvis.
Post Operative..........A letter carrier.
Recovery Room...........Place to do upholstery.
Rectum..........Damn near killed him.
Secretion...........Hiding something.
Seizure..........Hiding something.
Tablet...........A small table.
Terminal illness...........Getting sick at the airport.
Tumor..........More than one.
Urine...........Opposite of you're out.
Varicose..........Nearby/Close by.

There are no cliches of note that start with the letter "X" according to The Dictionary of Cliches. I can't think of any either. OH WAIT! X Marks the Spot! Probably originated from some old pirate story. I can't imagine that any pirate of any pirate ship would actually draw up a treasure map and mark the spot where they buried the treasure with an X. I'll go on with a cliche from the letter "Y" section of the book. It fits my mood about cellphones. I would have picked You Can't Teach an Old Dog New Tricks but I don't like to repeat myself and I used that one the last time I reached the letter "Y" on June 26th when I was complaining about my computer.

Cliche of the Day

You Get What You Pay For. If you buy things on the cheap, you probably won't get much that is of value or good quality. The lesson was learned a long time ago and reflected (in Latin) in Gabriel Biel's 15th-century Expositio Canonis Missae: Pro tali numismate tales merces.