Word of the Day

Gagnacious - Words or actions possessing the quality of sickening sweetness.

There are few things more demoralizing and depressing then to go to one of those places where they analyze the skin on your face. The day that DD Daughter and I went to get our facials, a woman walked in to the waiting room and handed us certificates worth $50 each good for a free skin consultation. At the time I was rather suspicious and I should have gone with that feeling but $50 is $50 and it's hard to get beyond that. So...DD Daughter and I made our appointments and went in for our skin consultations yesterday afternoon.

I was greeted by a "sweet young thang" who proceeded to take me back to a private room...soothing music playing. I was asked what I don't like about my skin. Hey! I just had a facial the day before this consultation. I was feeling pretty positive about my skin...and my age. I knew I was in trouble the second I was handed a super-magnifying lighted hand mirror. OK. "Could you look at your nose in the mirror and tell me what you'd like to change if you could?" My nose? The pores were huge! I had tiny little spider veins ala W.C. Fields. Argh! Of course, they aren't actually visible except in this "magic mirror". By the time I'd finished analyzing my entire face, bit by dreadful bit, I was thoroughly demoralized. Then she sticks me in front of a mirror complete with black light. Where did all that white lint come from that stood out in such stark contrast on my nose? This is something that nightmares come from. Now...the hard sell. They can fix my face for a few thousand dollars per numerous treatments. I'd just have to undergo special laser microderm abrasion and collagen injections, and there was this new product that might work. Everything was kindly explained to me before I staggered out to the waiting room to wait and ponder the deplorable condition of my sun-damaged skin. Did I want to make an appointment?

DD Daughter's appointment was next. Poor kid. At least she's a Marine. Marines are strong. She could take it. She did get talked into buying some special lotion. She's young. I refused to open my wallet. I guess age has something going for it. So I asked DD how it went and she told me that it wasn't too bad. The "sweet young thang" tried to talk her into botox treatments. What?! My daughter hasn't a wrinkle on her sweet young face! She was told that if she had botox treatments, she'd never get wrinkles. That it's a preventitive thing. The "sweet young thang" had already undergone numerous botox treatments. Good Grief! My DD Daughter wasn't tempted. She told me that she had enough problems with people in the military thinking that she's hardly old enough to smoke much less drink. She told the "sweet young thang" that she'd welcome a wrinkle or two. Then, when I told my DD Daughter that the "sweet young thang" hadn't mentioned anything about botox to me, DD Daughter told me that that evil "sweet young thang" told her that it was too late for me to have botox. The damage was too extreme and botox would only lessen the grooves for me. SCREAM!!!!!

That's OK. I did notice that despite all the make-up that "sweet young thang" was wearing on her perfectly wrinkle-free botoxed face, she just couldn't hide that blemish...cold sore?, pimple? who knows. I may have an old pruney face and sun-damaged skin but there ain't nothing wrong with my eyes...if I'm wearing my glasses. Sure made me feel a whole lot better about my poor wrinkled old pruney, sun-damaged face. The way I figure it, I don't spend a whole heck of a lot of time in front of magnifying mirrors and black light. Anyone that gets that close to peer at my pores and the teeny veins on my nose, is way too far into my personal space. My skin isn't any older than I am. I've earned every single frown and laughter line and I plan to keep them all...though I do enjoy facials and I do plan to keep wearing sunblock and lotions and potions. One of these days I'll stop dying my old grey hair. And for now? I'm fine with the way I look.

And as for my free skin consultation? Well...it was an education. Will I go again? Nope. I'm a fast learner.

Murphyism of the Day

Schroeder's Law

Indecision is the basis for flexibility.