Word of the Day

Lactomangulation: Manhandling the "open here" spout on a milk carton so badly that one has to resort to the 'illegal' side.

It's not my fault! I stopped at the store on my way home from church to buy Easter stuff. I also wanted to buy a card to send to my daughter because I can't send her an Easter basket. They frown on sending food to boot camp. I also figured, while I was at it, that I'd look for a nice card to give her for her graduation. Usually, more often then not, I have a really hard time finding appropriate cards. I can spend hours upon hours reading cards at a store and still not find anything. I mean, some of them are really dumb. And some of them are just so mushy that they drip with it. And then some of them are just plain mean. So...I settled in to start reading the cards with very little expectation of finding one. I figured that if I failed to find one, I'd go over to a Hallmark store that was not too far away. Well...in no time at all I found the perfect card for Easter. But, maybe there was a better one. So I kept looking... I found another one, and another, and another..., and another,.... This was not good! I just kept finding them and they were really great! So I tried my luck at graduation cards and ....the result was similar. And then I peered into another section of cards...the humorous cards...and.... OK. I bought lots of cards. LOTS OF CARDS. Darn it! Now I need to go out and buy more stamps. I sure hope my daughter doesn't get into too much trouble from all these cards. It's not my fault! If they'd let me send her a nice Easter basket, I wouldn't have gone looking for cards.

Murphyism of the Day

Ginsberg's Theorem

1. You can't win.
2. You can't break even.
3. You can't even quit the game.

Freeman's Commentary on Ginsberg's Theorem

Every major philosophy that attempts to make life seem meaningful is based on the negation of one part of Ginsberg's Theorem.

1. Capitalism is based on the assumption that you can win.
2. Socialism is based on the assumption that you can break even.
3. Mysticism is based on the assumption that you can quit the game.