Word of the Day

Daddy-look - Searching for something in a half-hearted manner. A habitual token or cursory glance most often used when looking for articles of a child's clothing.

I'm doing the sprinkler dance again today. There isn't a spot of rain to be seen. The grass is gasping for water and turning brown and crisp despite all my watering. I think the only thing my sprinkling is doing is to increase the humidity level.

How does my garden grow? I picked my first batch of beans yesterday and it looks like I'm going to be busy picking every day from now until the plants exhaust themselves. My tomatoes have produced enough ripe tomatoes for us to use in salads. My lettuce...well...maybe I should have planted more lettuce. I'll do that next year. In the meantime, I'll make do with the zucchini for supper tonight for HTP and me and our guest, who doesn't like onions, can have an onion-free salad to go with the grilled chicken. I was going to make stir-fry...oh well...maybe I'll just make stir-fry and leave out the onion. We'll see. I do have peppers that I could use.

This is BlueGill Festival Weekend. You can already hear the build-up of weekenders on the lake. The daughter of a friend of mine is coming for the weekend. #1 son plans to take her to the street dances that are to be held tonight and tomorrow night. Then there's the firefighters' waterfight and the parade to go to and let's not forget The Bluegill Feed. I usually just stay home. Sorry. When I'm here in Wisconsin, I'm a bit of a recluse. Heck! Let's be honest! I'm a bit of a recluse no matter where I am. I really do like people but sometimes it's just nice to be alone and quiet. Sometimes that a bit of a challenge when you're married.

My Mom and Dad gave me the following article from the St. Paul Pioneer Press. It was written by Jerry Zezima and it made me laugh...even though I only have two small dogs and no cats. I think my folks gave me the article because they felt sorry for HTP when he looked after our two dogs and my folks' one dog while we were all away in Rochester. Poor HTP. However the following article does tend to put things in perspective.

He Knows Ins and Outs of Multiple Pet Ownership

As a man with one dog, four cats and an occasional family of fleas, I have adopted an open-door policy toward pets. That's because I am constantly opening the door so my pets can go in and out of the house, either singly, in pairs, in groups of three or four, or all together, approximately once every three minutes or 147 times a day, whichever is more.

I would wear a cap and a fancy uniform except that a. I probably couldn't get into a doormen's union and b. animals make lousy tippers.

As it is, I pretty much have to stand guard, either by the door in the kitchen or by the one in the family room, letting this one in or that one out. Sometimes, I get so confused that I let myself out and can't get back in because the door is locked and neither the dog nor any of the cats has a key or can even reach the doorknob.

So I have to scratch at the door until my wife opens it and lets me in. Then I say"woof" or "meow," depending on my mood, and wait for a treat.

The players in this daily drama are Lizzie, the world's kissingest dog; Ramona, the world's stupidest cat; a kitty who, because nobody could think of a name for her, now answers to Kitty; and Kitty's kitties: Bernice, the party girl of Long Island, N.Y., and Henry, the only other male in the house.

The supporting players are two pairs of French doors that we recently had installed. The gang seems to have taken a special interest in them because they actually open and close instead of sliding like our old glass doors, which I guess were not as much fun.

I wasn't keen on French doors because Lizzie is not a French poodle (she's an American mutt) and I don't speak French, although I know enough to ask the dog, when she is barking at the door, "Do you have to go oui oui?" sometimes this is her No. 1 priority, but other times she just wants to sit outside because either there is a rerun on Animal Planet or the weather is nice and she wants to work on her tan. So, she stands by the door and barks. I let her out.

Exactly 10 seconds later, Kitty wants to go out. I open the door. Kitty goes out and Henry, who went out five minutes earlier, comes in.

I sit down. Seven seconds later, Bernice wants to go out. I get up and open the door. Bernice goes out and Kitty comes in.

I close the door and sit down again. I hear barking. "Lizzie wants to come in," my wife says. I get up and let Lizzie in. Two minutes later, there is a scratching at the door. It's Bernice, who wants to come in. I get up and let her in. As I open the door, Henry goes out again.

Ramona, who generally stays inside, sits by the door. If it's a nice day, she'll go out for few minutes and comes right back in. When this happens, the other three cats come in or go out, depending on where they were originally or if they think it would annoy Daddy.

Often, when one of them wants to go out, I will open the door and the cat will just stand there, undecided what to do. "Make up your mind!" I cry. The cat will turn around and come back in. Fifteen minutes later, another one will want to go out. When I let that one out, the first one goes out, too. As soon as I go back to what I was doing, the dog will want to go out.

It goes like this all day and well into the evening. I won't even get into what happens when I sit down to dinner. I haven't had a hot meal in three years.

If I didn't love my pets, I'd show them all the door. But why bother? A minute later, I'd have to get up and let them all in again.

Murphyism of the Day

The Pet Principle

No matter which side of the door the dog or cat is on, it is the wrong side.